The Caring Corner :)

[kuru]

Sheesh, all that family talk. My ex owes me thousands of Euros I'll never see again, never did anything worthwhile, never cared for my health, only used me and herself didn't adhere to the principles she expected me to follow. Wonder how I managed spending seven years with that person after all.
I don't have the looks anymore which would help me getting picked up, have myself never been the type to do the picking myself, still can't understand why things are the way they are socially. Don't go out anymore, content with just spending the last few years alone until my COPD kills me. Yay books and games and movies, every distraction is welcome. Looking forward to the motorcycle season at least. The hand-waves and nods from other bikers are balm for the soul. Acceptance, benevolence, concord - more or less unconditional. And the sheer speed that manages to drown everything else out.
I'm seriously happy for everyone that has a supportive partner, a better half.

 

[Wally]

Have you spoken to someone about this Kuru? Perhaps someone at 7cups.com can help?

 

[kuru]

Talk to somebody for tips like "just ignore the bad guys" and "get a hobby to take your mind off things"? Nah, I'm good.
If I'd really change something I'd just ultimately land in prison, because I wouldn't take shit from anybody. If I had the breath anyway. But since I'm a 'good boy' I'll just go on turning the other cheek. Or even better, not offer one in the first place, thus I just stay away. Since I can't see the common denominator in real life, law and ethics, I'll refrain from participating and keep on cultivating my hatred for the insensible, irreverent and inconsequential.

 

[Null]

Text

I've never been that interested in the human world myself, which seems to show in the photos that I take. I've just gone through the random collection I've gathered on my mobile phone, and the vast majority of them are nature/wildlife ones, and when a person does manage to sneak into one of my photos they're generally dead (pic of graveyard).

Edit: Example photo:

 

[rygD]

Kinda reminds me of here, just more paved.

I didn't avoid taking pictures of humans, they just weren't usually as interesting as other things. I also figure that since everyone else takes pictures like that there are probably enough that mine wouldn't be missed.

Graveyards and such are popular with some friends of mine, so I have little interest in photographing them. Exceptions would be those long abandoned and hidden ones, like those you come across while walking around in the woods. Buildings like that are also interesting to me, both for exploring and taking pictures. I have taken a few pictures of dead nonhumans. I guess considering that wood is a popular building material, and all the clothing and food that gets photographed, many people have. Mine were more raw and natural, though. That reminds me, I wish they would do something about roadkill here...Maybe I could collect some and leave them at the front door of a local government office to help them out.

Last night I was doing some research and came across this picture of an archaeological excavation site which I found rather pleasant (no worries, I won't post lots of random pictures here, it just made me smile for a moment, like the pic above):

 

[Klumpen]

 

[FBnil]

Edit: Example photo:

Ah... all I see is a software configuration in this picture: Squirrelmail and dovecot, on the same tile/pc. Or maybe Squirrelmail is closer to the lowerright corner than icedove... but I see no snow.

edit: nope nope.. that squirrel has a nut. And those dove thugs are trying to steal it... nah... too dramatic.

@kuru: If you are on the northern hemisphere, you might be low on vitamine D. (no pun intended). Also eat lettuce! (put it in a shoarma or in a taco, unless you are a bunny... some forum members actually are). Hey, if you do not go out, what do you do in your extra time? (software? Helping out? Browsing? History research?)

 

[Null]

that squirrel has a nut.

 

[rygD]

Poor, stupid squirrel. I guess it was never told not to take nuts from strangers or to keep away from humans.

 

[Null]

I did try handing it a pamphlet but it didn't seem to be interested.

 

[rygD]

You might want to teach it to read first.

 

[mclien]

@Uncle Jack @kuru @rygD All of you somehow trigger my Aspergers radar. Have you looked into that?
My story is, that I only got aware of that since I have a son (who was diagnosed at the age of 5). From that on a lot of events in my past came clearer. For me that means I have lots to deal with right now and I can/could help protect my son and give him explanations what goes on with that strange "outside world".
Main point is, that I DON'T view it as a disease, but as another race. Easiest to explain to trekkies: Think of as as vulcans (or as Lt. Cmd.Data). And I simply start claiming to be "me" and not have to bend everytime to fit into what other consider "normal"

 

[Klumpen]

@Uncle Jack @kuru @rygD All of you somehow trigger my Aspergers radar. Have you looked into that?
My story is, that I only got aware of that since I have a son (who was diagnosed at the age of 5). From that on a lot of events in my past came clearer. For me that means I have lots to deal with right now and I can/could help protect my son and give him explanations what goes on with that strange "outside world".
Main point is, that I DON'T view it as a disease, but as another race. Easiest to explain to trekkies: Think of as as vulcans (or as Lt. Cmd.Data). And I simply start claiming to be "me" and not have to bend everytime to fit into what other consider "normal"

You can find many of them on boards because aspies prefer communication via pure text for obvious reasons.

I've gotten my diagnosis with 20, beforehand everyone just thought I was "stupid".
Life would have gone in an entirely different direction if someone would have actually looked into it.

I also use Vulcans and Lt. Cmd. Data a lot as references, unfortunately there aren't many trekkies around in these parts.
Most people are still "convinced" they could "read" me although they are really always wrong in their assumptions and should rather really listen for once.
A few weeks ago my boss said "You shouldn't listen to what I say but to what I mean." while I always try to make him understand that I only mean what I say and all the subtext he thinks to see is coming from himself and his assumptions that all people are alike.
One of the many reasons why I try to start my own business and have already built my own little workshop.

 

[mclien]

@Klumpen Oh, yeah! so familiar!
I at least have some success with few people to teach them "listen to what I say, not to what you assume". Unfortunatelly close relatives are rarely part of that group. And I had some success to teaaching my son, that quite a lot of people expect that you are able to "hear what they mean" but are very unwilling to give you information to be able to.
Like when you try to learn what they mean by asking back, they get angry and snap something like "Yeah, of course I meant that, it#s logical" ironicly they most likely have no talent and skill in "logic" at all.

I nowadays try to only have contact with people, who
a) are willing to get to known to each others way to communicate until there actually IS and understanding
b) are kind of same wave "lengt" like me (or are from teh same planet/ star system like me)

I try to avoid contact with the other kind of people (which only work to some extent with relatives, because you are expected to join certain events)
oh, and I siad to my son: "Perfect girl for you? orphaned Aspie, no relatives at all, preferable rich" ;-)

guess why I'm here

 

[kuru]

Nah, I used to be quite the opposite until my early twenties. I just learned to hate people, that's all. Doc calls it a depression.

 

[Binky]

Has anyone else experienced the problem where you express an interest in <thing>, and suddenly, word gets out that you're a hardcore <thing> fanatic and everyone tries to discuss <thing> with you, even when they themselves have to interest in or knowledge of said <thing>?

I suspect it happens more rarely than it seems, but it's still very annoying when it does. Especially when unambiguously describing exactly what you mean comes with it's own connotations - and it's near-impossible to predict what people will remember about you anyway.

People are complicated.

 

[ClockworkCoder]

Has anyone else experienced the problem where you express an interest in <thing>, and suddenly, word gets out that you're a hardcore <thing> fanatic and everyone tries to discuss <thing> with you, even when they themselves have to interest in or knowledge of said <thing>?

I sometimes wish my better half did that sometimes when I'm enthusing about (i.e. Pyra) something, rather than replying with something like "oh look! that cat is adorable!" But i wouldn't have it any other way; condescending to be interested would be much worse.

It is easy to assume that one's self is the only person with hidden depths, interests or opinions, which is where some of that may come from it. However, I'm happy if someone talks about X just because that's all they think I'm interested in, simply because I probably wouldn't care to know more about them for being so shallow.

I also believe that autism is something that we all have; just to different degrees, and different levels of awareness. There's a little existentialist in each of us...

 

[FBnil]

everyone tries to discuss <thing> with you

Yes. I guess it happens more often than we think, when there is no real conversation topic at hand. Also, when a teenager, asking for the name of a person "hey, how's that girl called?" means (between the lines) that you are interested, so you stop asking the name of that guy (#nohomo) you talked with... and just use "hey, bro" or something, eventhough you try to memorize, out of politeness, all the names (and some are just easier to remember than others).

Which is why this image is funny: http://www.kappit.com/img/pics/201310_1942_iafhe_sm.jpg

And of course the cliche: Oh, you work with computers! So you can solve my printer problem and the like. Just like I know that I can go to @mclien for advice on di-metal components or even crystals and the like... or to expect to talk to @UncleJack about non-profound topics, because, hey.... absurdism corner (thanks for the jokes though, I need those laughs). So yes, understanding a person is complicated (i.e. has masks they put on in different threads, and you need to adjust accordingly: jokey/serious/etc).

guess why I'm here

You should create a poll/post if there are members with daughters in the age range of your son, who also are aspy's.
Also, early on, teach him that when the navigator/tomtom says: turn right here... it actually means: turn right at the next corner... which can be a few meters further away than where the car is now. Because: tomtom's are stupid. (there was a thread here somewhere about nav-intelligence, like shutting up near your house, or highlighting alternate routes when traffic is detected, or just helping you when you are near that exit you always miss)

I just learned to hate people

Understand that most people are barely above zombies, looking out for themselves. Also: IQ graphs as a nice bell curve, which means 50% of the people you meet are below the average (yeah yeah, EQ and memory also have to be factored in).
And they are zombies because the environment (movies, TV, city) is a little sick. Go out to the forest and parks, and you will see people that have been positively charged up/re-humanized.
OTOH: Q: Elaborate. Why the hate again? Maybe you expect too much from other people pleasing you. Maybe city people are too indifferent and you need to move out to a smaller community?
Q:Vacation... how long ago?

wish my better half did that sometimes when I'm enthusing about (i.e. Pyra)

Once you have that Pyra, put it in your pant pockets. She will look at that bulge in your pants and will not be able to be distracted with pictures of cats. It will restore your male confidence.
On a serious note: It means it's a bit over her head. You lost her and she is not trying to understand the concept of "pyra" anymore. Instead, she plays it save (everybody loves cats, right?). But question back to you: how long ago did you talk to her about deep topics she enjoys? (or endured a shopping session of 3 hours with somewhat of a smile, or planned out the future and discussed the plans (women like to feel save in that way) ). You know what: Try this: 2 months (the Pyra wont be out until then) spend some quality time on her (mentally/physically). See if that works. Otoh, she could be an airhead non technical, not interested in technical stuff (because, that is what YOU are for) and be a good person you will have to accept as-is. And accept that role as the techie and you can always post on this forum if you need to discuss a matter. We will be here. And if you have a good tech idea, we will go ape-shit and share they joy.




Anyway... one moment of silence for that Homeless person in London that occupied an empty house (more like a one room shop next to a bus stop) and was evicted by the police. He died a few winters back (of hypothermia), on the porch of said building (which was "street" and thus legal to stay on). Last year I visited London, and the house is still closed/unused...

 

[rygD]

Data, you say? Androids need love too (don't take lyrics literally, as the song is full of innuendo).

 

[kuru]

I expect people to respect others. At least to keep the f away from me. I keep meeting people who do not. Half of the time I go out I meet some drunk prick who picks me out and turns my evening to shit. Maybe it's my face or I look like easy pickings. Last time I went to Volksfest in Straubing I stayed away from the festival itself, only meeting a friend in a bar where it took a drunk only 15 minutes to come in, fall into me and keep pestering me from there on in. In my younger years I'd always be pestered by the same group of neverdowells, assuming because my father is a cop and who likes a cop if youre a nazi scum street brawler right?
I am pretty sure if I came in weighing 200 pounds mainly muscle, nobody would pick on me. But that's a culture I don't want any part in. Neither would I want to punch respect into people, as much as they deserve it.

BTW I'm pretty sure I saved a friend's life last Friday. I was drunk and asleep at a friends' house when I woke from the commotion. While I couldn't do much more than raise my head for a few seconds I saw enough and shouted at them to call the ambulance. Idiots thought they were looking at a regular old epileptic seizure. Well it wasn't. Why don't people use their brains more often. When they do it's mostly for being ingenuously evil in some way.