The Caring Corner :)

[DrHAX]

Ive been trying to learn how to play a musical instrument for quite awhile now. My fiancée plays the guitar and was a bass clarinet player who went to state in high school so she understands music.

She's been trying to teach me, and as much as I love her I feel having her teaching me isn't working out.

She's been away today and I've been trying to teach myself something so I can at least confirm to myself I'm not an idiot. But this music stuff is confusing for me. Just tuning the guitar was a challenge. I can tune a violin (what I really want to learn how to play I have a nice 1800's trade fiddle I replaced the sound post on and it has a really lovely tone) but I don't really have a sense of how a guitar sounds.

It makes it especially annoying when any song I like to play it isn't in standard tuning. ( I'm noticing a lot of D and drop D tuning) Also they require quite a bit to play them, like finger style and what not. Probably doesn't help my tastes in music are all over the place. I wanted to see if I could learn anything from Tame Impala. Solitude is bliss seems doable if I knew how to play the chords, But Jeremy's storm requires fingerstyle, and it's tuned to D so that's off of the table, I got the guitar close yet I could not figure out the tabbing.

So I'm trying to learn Sailing Man by the Royal Republic a song my fiancée likes and it's just confusing, and honestly bringing me down because I feel like I going only backwards. I really want to learn but its difficult and bringing me down. I just want to be able to play something with my fiancée because I know she'd love that.

 

[Klumpen]

@DrHAX
Imho the most important thing when it comes to learning to make music is to find the right instrument first.
I've learned and played a bloody lot of instruments by now but it was only when I first had an instrument that was like someone with my mindset had invented it, that I made incredibly fast progress, in my case it was the hammered-dulcimer.
After needing so many years to play the hurdy-gurdy properly (with buzzer/percussion and all freely) having something I could practically pick up and play nearly immediately was quite a revelation.

If you'd be around I could let you test a few dozen different kinds of instruments until it makes click although there's always a chance that it wasn't one of them yet, that's where my boss and session buddies come in handy, they usually got what I don't.

When it comes to guitars, the good ones I know play various tunings depending on which key they want to play.
It may be confusing at first but makes playing a bloody lot easier.
The same was the case with traditional fiddlers some time ago btw and a few Irish folk still do it, I was at a concert where the fiddler had two differently tuned violins handy and did some things on it easily that wouldn't have been possible on the other one at all.

Now violin is something very hard to learn although there are some helpful tools around like the fretting-stickers you get from Canada (got some) or the shoulder straps that make the whole thing easier to keep in place without straining your neck.
To me, a Gamba would rather be the way to go though and there are also small versions available.

 

[rygD]

To expand a bit on what Klumpen said, don't try to force yourself to use an instrument that doesn't seem to work for you. Skip the guitar and go with the fiddle if that is where your heart is.

Also, who says you have to use the "right" instrument or tuning for the song you want to play? You will probably have more fun if you actually play (as in children with toys) rather than turn it into work.

@Klumpen, I might need your knowledge, as I may have a need for a traditional percussion instrument in the future, and my past research didn't help me much.

 

[Klumpen]

@Klumpen, I might need your knowledge, as I may have a need for a traditional percussion instrument in the future, and my past research didn't help me much.

Sure, just tell me which kind of music, sound and playing stance you want to have. I build all kinds of frame drums but still look for a very good Udu (better than the ones from Schlagwerk).

 

[DrHAX]

I have no issues with a guitar besides it just it don't sound right in my ears. I mean when I tuned it to standard D and was trying to finger style a tame impala song I liked the way it sounded finally.

The violin I purchased and fixed up is one from the 1800's with mechanical tuners. ( Reason why I got it so cheap! Also why I purchased it. I'm a steampunk.)


the bridge has a date of 08 and a luthiers name on it. I know for a fact due to the style of cursive it's not 2008. I have very little issues holding a violin. It's the fingerings that get me. Heck I replaced and cut down a sound post which is a bit of an accomplishment, as well as placing on perlon strings.

My biggest issue with the guitar is strumming it. It's so alien to my brain compared to a bow. So when I see a guitars tab say like D tab 5 and A tab 3 my brain thinks to well just tilt the bow and avoid the centre string. (Ain't going to work brain!) Now I'm not sure if that's the case. I mean the 5 and 3 is actually a chord, where do I stop? It's alien to me. I feel like I'm been tossed a spanner and a picture of a car engine and told to rebuild the engine.

My fiancée dislikes the violin. So it's been trouble trying to start. She's a concert level... Umm snob. So my stupidity when it comes to not understanding things she does wears quickly on her patience. Then she starts playing ahead of me lapping me like a car on a race track. I think she assumes I'm going to just be magically able to keep up but in reality this just discourages me more. She was doing musical crap at age 6, I am 22 so there's a bit of difference there.

We did have a musical project I may see if I can get working again. We were making a Stroh guitar using a 1800's carriage horn a 1920's gramaphone head and a beat up thrift store guitar. It snapped in half the first time due to the tension From the strings being too much for my fiancée's original design. But I have an idea of what to do

Most of my musical inspiration comes from bands like Abney Park. I may have to pick your brain Klumpen about music in general.

 

[urjaman]

mutual acceptance and respect for standing out and standing up. If we are all individuals and tolerate one another and our differences, only then will we all flow along nicely together in life. We are all linked together, at the end of the day.

We all matter. We are all special. We are all different and yet the same at the same time.

So...be yourselves and own who you are, stand by who you are, stand by who others are, and you'll find people will respect and accept who you are .

This is a good post, and I've lately found out that I should've read this earlier...

I wasnt as accepting of others in life as i thought i was. I'm working on it, but it might be too late.

 

[Klumpen]

This is a good post, and I've lately found out that I should've read this earlier...
I wasnt as accepting of others in life as i thought i was. I'm working on it, but it might be too late.

I can relate to that.
Oh to be young again and know what I know now... :/

 

[DrHAX]

I look back on my youth and regret not doing anything. Then again I hope that most people here didn't accept or even assume death as a possibility daily. I'm amazed I've made it to twenty.

Though one thing I have learned is understanding is one thing, but not seeing it through your eyes or tainted prespective is another. Everybody I've noticed who understands this in my life has been trudged through the darkness of insanity. Yet all of these people seem to understand and see when somebody is having an invisible issue.

I believe we are conditioned to not notice what is wrong, and only accept what is considered wrong if the mob mentality dictates it. You'd be surprised how many people who look like things are going great are actually screaming inside resisting the urge to rip off their own jaw. Yet the people with "issues" seem to be perfectly content.

Maybe it's true the joke. "No I'm not suffering from insanity. I'm enjoying it."

Maybe we focus too much on other things and not enough on enjoying life.

 

[rygD]

Sometimes the anguish makes enjoying it nearly impossible, and it seems better to pretend than drag everyone else down into the chasm.

 

[FaeMinx]

Yeah... I've really had no one to share 'my problems' with... any attempt and they would make every attempt to discount it.

I've had to live with 'insanity' the greater part of my life... and that includes facing the strong possibility of being tortured... It use to terrify me so that I would yearn for death... any kind of escape... If I wasn't worried about how devastated my parents would be I would have killed myself long ago...

... but ... I got use to it. The insanity hasn't gone away... I just couldn't deal with the fear anymore... so the fear eventually went away, which is rather strange.
It made me able to cope... to a degree... but nothing in this reality has any meaning or purpose for me. Terrible things could happen at any time... I just don't care anymore. Everything about this place is stupid and pointless.. especially those who terrorise others in order to control them... those people are the personification of everything that's sick about this place and I will never help them or respect them.

For me the only purpose I have and of which I am proud of myself... is to not be seduced by the lies, and to stay true to what is beautiful in me even if no one else can see it and in spite of being constantly terrorised by heartless opportunists.

I don't fear death. I don't fear torture.. I will never give up what is precious in me and I will never ever give my soul to this lie of a reality, no matter what is done to me.

Those who tried to dominate me have failed... and exposed themselves for the lies they are.

The sad thing is... I don't think they are even able to feel shame...

Sent from my GT-S7580 using Tapatalk

 

[rygD]

Unfortunately, human society is built around lies, many of which go unnoticed. Interaction between two humans shows this very well.

 

[DrHAX]

FaeMinx i understand what you mean. Where I lived it was a cess pool dressed up with pretty lipstick and people unable to see the problem. So what happens when you're not part of thier mob? They make you into the problem.

They treat me monster ergo I am monster.

And with that things become scary. I know the crossroads at my life. The most obvious one was me holding the gang leaders head in my palm as I had to decide on what to do as time slowed down. No harm was done, because I did not want to go down that route. I refused too. But the thug was openly bragging about choking out somebody a few days latter.

And they called me the psychopath!

They called me insane. So I declared screw it and people feared me after that. Many didn't even see me. it took them forty five seconds to notice me across the board.

Society has a way of creating its own monsters. I am glad I didn't end up the way the cards were looking.

The only thing I fear is myself, because I know myself.

Hilariously when I am myself people think I am foreign. My favorites are. British, son of a mob boss, from a family of spies. Russian, kgb, from a kgb family.


You get the point. Either way I did nothing and people feared me. People assumed I would kill them, when in reality I did nothing. Those types of reactions stick with you.

I envy those who have never had to experience that.

However I did get a letter from the C.I.A once. I do wonder how my life would be if I went down that crossroads.

 

[elw3]

Oh i really wanna make a campfire with you guys sitting around it telling stories....

 

[FlapJack]

Oh i really wanna make a campfire with you guys sitting around it telling stories....

I'm not sure that burning us alive is the answer. Even if you're sitting around us...it wood make for a good story though.

 

[FaeMinx]

I would love to believe that in our heart of hearts we are all innately good, kind and compassionate .. and that any nightmares we become or that we see in others is due to wounds of misunderstanding layered upon wounds and yet more wounds.

I don't hate any of you... or any 'monster' out there in the world... It is just that when my wounds come up against your wounds... hackles are raised, claws are drawn... and a fresh set of blood stains are left on the carpet... more wounds laying a foundation for yet further misunderstanding.

I can't heal my kind of wounds around other wounded people... so if I sense them drawing near I hiss and I spit... because I am afraid of hurting them further.. because I am not whole enough yet to give them the love, compassion and understanding they need.
If I see in them that which I have no tolerance of in myself... I attack.

I get so angry when people misunderstand that and try to force themselves on me... I am pushing them away FOR THEIR OWN GOOD.

So I retreat.
I can heal myself so long as people leave me alone to do it.

If they want healing they should retreat themselves and spend how ever many years or lifetimes pealing back the layers until the original wound can be found... and the misunderstanding that lead to it transformed into compassion through intensive introspection.

Only then will it be safe for them to go back out into the world without creating further wounds.

The reason human society is built upon lies, is because we are all wounded... Every last one of us.

And we do our best to hide those wounds because we don't want to show our vulnerabilities... We are afraid. Many of us go to extremes in order to hide.. These are the big scary monsters.. The vicious, cruel self serving heartless dominating nightmares... they are so wounded and hurt that they do everything in their power to desensitise themselves, and to make themselves look strong and unassailable... They are hiding an unbearable weakness and a terrible fear.

 

[ClockworkCoder]

The biggest strength anyone can have is to openly admit ones own fears and vulnerabilities. The only way to overcome an inevitable terror (grief) is to face it head on.

Face them truthfully and openly, and there is no need for lies, guilt, blame... From there, everyone else can suit themselves.

Tl;dr Change what you can. Accept what you cannot.

 

[Klumpen]

The biggest strength anyone can have is to openly admit ones own fears and vulnerabilities. The only way to overcome an inevitable terror (grief) is to face it head on.

Face them truthfully and openly, and there is no need for lies, guilt, blame... From there, everyone else can suit themselves.

Tl;dr Change what you can. Accept what you cannot.

...and avoid people who exploit your openness, which are about 99.9% of the population.

 

[ClockworkCoder]

...and avoid people who exploit your openness, which are about 99.9% of the population.

That's probably why I could count my true friends on one hand.

 

[FaeMinx]

That's probably why I could count my true friends on one hand.

That's why I have no friends at all.

The next time I meet someone open minded, open hearted, honest not only to others but to themselves. .. and with no needs, ambition or cause they are blindly following...

I will meekly and humbly ask if they would consider being my friend...

The big question is will I be whole enough and healed enough to recognise them or will I still be hissing and spitting at my own shadow...

Truth is.. I will only recognise that person when I am that person.

 

[rygD]

Oh i really wanna make a campfire with you guys sitting around it telling stories....

Be careful.

The biggest strength anyone can have is to openly admit ones own fears and vulnerabilities. The only way to overcome an inevitable terror (grief) is to face it head on.

I have a couple spiders (or maybe their offspring) I have been trying to help out for a few years. They are tiny. When other ones catch me off guard, usually with webs, I make odd sounds, run around in stupid ways, and sometimes smack myself and try to rip off my garments. I openly admit that fear and try to face it head on, even bringing the tiny ones inside when it gets cold, and it has not diminished my feelings or reaction. I get the same anxiety stuff with the itsy bitsy spiders as I do other ones, only to a lesser degree, likely due to familiarity. I know this probably isn't the kind of thing you meant.