But when it's 5°C outside and I have to choose between two trousers, short ones and long ones, then I'll choose the long ones although I don't have a problem with the temperature because it's just kind of weird wearing short trousers in winter and I don't have a real reason to choose the short one. You need to find a good balance.
I always wear long ones. I am one of those people that is usually covered from the neck down, but I make this decision for several reasons, including protection from the sun, insects, scratchy plants, etc. My overall appearance sometimes intimidates people, but it is a sum of several things, a couple of which I couldn't change (nor would I want to) without a lot of money. This is better than when I was required to wear a uniform which limited what people could figure out based on my appearance, and as soon as I talk about anything people act like I am the strangest person they have ever met. Either is fine with me, but I prefer not to deal with the mess. I would rather be like Nikola Tesla or Howard Hughes than those people no one remembers, not that I want to be known or remembered.
Yes, in puberty some people develop this "I don't care" attitude towards social norms but very few keep it and develop it into something more stable.
This is unfortunate for some of us when we are that age. I was always a little different, and I got that attitude starting around age 6 or 7, and it slowly grew to the point where I just did my thing most of the time. When I thought I found others who might be me like me it turned out that most were just "being rebellious". There was a distinct lack of sincerity with their opinions and decisions. I was raised in the home of my mother to never "make a scene" or stand out, which was really hard for me. I am a lot like my father, who I think is only my father because my mother was "being rebellious". My father and I think a lot alike (not to say that we agree on things), so perhaps their is some genetic element to it. I have long had the discipline to play by the rules socially, in the sense of going along with the crowd, but I see no reason to do this. My usual compromise, if speaking my mind and doing as I wish are not acceptable, is to shut my mouth and ignore things, or remove myself from the situation. I also enjoy learning, so if I look into something and find alternatives that work better for me I do that. I could get a flashy little car or something else that is more like what people my age are supposed to drive, either due to necessity or social influence, but I like big old luxury cars. I could get the newest coolest fone or video game console or tablet or whatever, but I don't use facebook and twitter etc. or whatever leads people to want smartphones, most of the games I like are available on older consoles or computers, and I prefer a real computer to a tablet, and don't currently have a need for one that isn't met better by something else. I could go on like this for days. Like I said earlier, even if I looked average as soon as I try to talk about anything we get deep into territory that most people aren't familiar with, and I have to explain things. Am I really that different, or is it that people just want to fit in, or are too lazy to actually think and make decisions? You had it right, imo:
many people don't seem to have any opinions and just repeat what they've heard.
How can you act as "yourself" if you mind so much what the other people will think of you ?
"Yourself" includes a lot of others. There are those who have influenced your opinions, those you have interacted with throughout your life, etc. I really don't see how you can evaluate one person without other people to compare them too.
On the other hand, for example I've got a kind of running gag with a guy, sometimes when we see each other we yell each others names and hug each other. I find that pretty funny, although it alienates lots of people ("Is he gay?", "Is he crazy?"), so I do it, sometimes.
This is a perfect example of what I mean. To me this is not uncommon. I have friends and family that do this. I can't stand loud people in public, or being touched. They know not to do this with me. Some of these people do this because this is how they have always interacted with people. For others it is to add a dramatic touch, and they often go far beyond this. This type of social interaction is based on others, in this case the people involved are in agreement that it is acceptable. If people outside of those directly involved have a reaction it is based on their own backgrounds and experiences.
because if you mind too much of the others you just DON'T do what you want to do...
This may not be as true as you think it is. There are many people that are very different in a professional setting or role than they are at other times. I know this has been the case for at least a century. Actually, those who do things such as flamboyant hugs or yelling in an elevator to get a reaction are often doing so BECAUSE of how people will react, and in the recent examples here it is based on doing what is pushing the lines of acceptable by society (others). This is not being yourself. Homosexuality in a cultural and social environment where it is not permitted and trying to fulfill your desires, whether physical or emotional, is being yourself. Not caring what others think in that situation can, in extreme cases, get you locked up or killed.
To make it more clear how being concerned with others, and what they think of you, may be required to be "yourself", consider that your interests, motivations, etc are multifaceted. Do you present yourself differently in different settings, and forgo certain things that might cause disruptions or problems so that you can pursue other things? A common example is clothing. People typically dress specific ways to interact with people in a specific role or situation. In my experience this is done because an individual seeks to be read a specific way, or because it is what is deemed acceptable by others. I have had my clothing interpretted incorrectly...when I was in grade 10 I was mistaken for a teacher by some other students for a while, and once we all figured out their confusion they interacted with me in a very different way. That actually leads to another topic that is very related that I won't go into, but it seems most people, if not all, interact with others based on the roles that each participant is in for that interaction. If you were to take what others think of you out of that, and treat everyone exactly the same at all times, I think you may find difficulty accomplishing much that is beyond yourself. If you don't care what others think of you then you cannot better yourself or have much impact beyond your own mind (and others will have an impact there). This may not be a problem for those that are selfish and self-centered.
For the record, I have a habit of punching those who yell in enclosed spaces from which I cannot easily remove myself, or those who yell and try to touch me. Children are the exception. That is just me being myself!
