How does a CoC differ from a conventional set of rules?
Let me try. Conventional approach in net cultures and etiquette between people was the approach which was propagandized by Martin Luther King: "color blindness". Basically, we should put no emphasis on your race, sex, gender etc and treat anyone as human. And in case of hacker/open source/linux culture, respect should given on contributions only, meritocracy. I would argue this worked very, very well.
Now, the culture has changed. Post-Modernism, deeply infected by
deconstructivism (which I think is the core), believes that there is no moral framework and there is not one even possible, everything is zero-sum power game, anything is arbitrarily socially constructed. Every organization, classification, structure, every hierarchy is only an expression of power (not merit or competence) and therefore inherent unfair. Therefore, they believe unbiased treatment, solidarity across group borders, fair actions based on moral codes are impossible. Therefore they don't believe that the "color blind" approach is working at all. They believe in enforced (e.g. with CoCs) re-distribution of power and resources by explicitly laying out who has more power over whom ("intersectionality", expressed in the CoC by explicitely naming race, gender etc) and then leveling/flipping/crushing these structures.
My problem and afraidness with this is: this is inherently non-solidarity, assuming the worst in your fellow beings and leading ultimately to tribalism, potentially damaging our society.
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Yes, it would seem that the furore over this whole issue has been blown up to epic proportions by the kinds of people that the CoC is designed to root out.
It is quite clear why this raises turmoil. Putting anyone in visible classes, focussing the society on groups, leads to tribalism. The opposite, the"colorblind" approach, which devalues the focus on the groups a human belongs to but
put the focus on the individual was the right approach which brought the western society forward.