Absurdism corner

Why?


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So I was working on the house today outside. I hear what sounds like the front gate close, hmm, I have the front door open I think. Nah, that was probably my imagination I think . So i'm looking trough the middle bedroom window from the outside looking in where I can see the centre hallway. I think to myself, would be weird if I saw someone walk in down the hall. Next second some dude is standing in my hallway, he looks into the bedroom where he sees me outside the window. Hi he says, I need to use the phone. WTF.

I come around the front and meet him in my hallway. He says his locked out of his place and needs to make a call. He's been on the piss , you can smell it. He also tells me he has been drinking. The more he talks, the more I realize he is not firing on all cylinders. It's a hot day and he is wearing two woolen scarfs and a jacket and long pants. His dressed for a winter football match and has two different team scarfs on. Anyway, he makes like 8 calls, in the end I finally tell him that's it mate, no more calls. During one of the calls though, he's entire conversation comprised of him saying , which color, green, red or blue, ah ok, then hangs up. He looks at me and says that was my friend, he's got my key and is bringing it over. What in the fuck. I've got to get the guy out of my house I'm thinking, so I basically give the yeah no worries , see yeah walking him towards the door, he keeps repeating things and says some weird stuff. Finally he leaves, he did offer to pay me though for the calls.

So I go back into the kitchen where the phone is, I notice he has left a plastic bag. I look in it, he has a womens magazine, a t-shirt and worn metal spoon. Of course , makes perfect sense.

I hope he didn't steal anything, he passed two rooms before I spotted him. I guess I'll have to keep the front door closed from now on.
 
So I was working on the house today outside. I hear what sounds like the front gate close, hmm, I have the front door open I think. Nah, that was probably my imagination I think . So i'm looking trough the middle bedroom window from the outside looking in where I can see the centre hallway. I think to myself, would be weird if I saw someone walk in down the hall. Next second some dude is standing in my hallway, he looks into the bedroom where he sees me outside the window. Hi he says, I need to use the phone. WTF.

I come around the front and meet him in my hallway. He says his locked out of his place and needs to make a call. He's been on the piss , you can smell it. He also tells me he has been drinking. The more he talks, the more I realize he is not firing on all cylinders. It's a hot day and he is wearing two woolen scarfs and a jacket and long pants. His dressed for a winter football match and has two different team scarfs on. Anyway, he makes like 8 calls, in the end I finally tell him that's it mate, no more calls. During one of the calls though, he's entire conversation comprised of him saying , which color, green, red or blue, ah ok, then hangs up. He looks at me and says that was my friend, he's got my key and is bringing it over. What in the fuck. I've got to get the guy out of my house I'm thinking, so I basically give the yeah no worries , see yeah walking him towards the door, he keeps repeating things and says some weird stuff. Finally he leaves, he did offer to pay me though for the calls.

So I go back into the kitchen where the phone is, I notice he has left a plastic bag. I look in it, he has a womens magazine, a t-shirt and worn metal spoon. Of course , makes perfect sense.

I hope he didn't steal anything, he passed two rooms before I spotted him. I guess I'll have to keep the front door closed from now on.
Listen carefully, kids, 'cause this is why you never ever do drugs!
You may end up like spoony Sam, you don't want to end up like spoony Sam.
 
^ If he wouldn't be such a whimp and be able to climb the rope up himself instead of waiting a few minutes before it's wound up with him, it would actually be quite effective although throwing is still the more practical solution.
 
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