The Caring Corner :)

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I got an offer to show 30 pieces of art work at a local winery. Every month they showcase the work of an local artist. They pick through 30 pieces and decide what they want to display. This invitation was at ne point extended to my ex fiancee. Now its been given to me. My ex dropped the torch and shut down. I'm going to grab it and run with it like the Olympics.. they need 30 pieces by September. I can so do this!
so, i may have accepted a job offer at a new location, which will negate one of my "previously/once"s. it may also be with one of those bigger guys in the tech field... so, may not have as much time on my side projects.
Yesterday was my birthday (the 14th). Had an pretty good birthday despite the fact I had to work. Family took me out to celebrate it. Went to a rural watering hole that had amazing food and a free 32oz drink of your choice if it's your birthday.

The waitress was giving obvious signs. She was pretty cute and that wasnt just the 64oz of Jameson and Coke I drank talking. ( I noticed her before free whiskey was involved) She commented she's older than me when looking at my license, but heck I wouldn't mind. I personally gave her a good tip, maybe she'll remember me. Was quite talkative and stuff. Eh I doubt anything would ever become of it.

That was a good birthday. I've felt light headed all day and worn out. I realized the lightheadeness came from the release of stress which I've been under quite a lot of. A weight off of my shoulder. I've began to finish things I've started. I hope to get my poor LTD up and running. This year has been insane for me.
Had an emotional break down again today, actually these last past few days have been rough. I've confirmed things i've theorized about myself. Realizing how different I am, but just the damn pain of everything in life is still a nice stab in the face. I am trying to focus on other things, but its just the small things that are just aren't helping. how my damn spare time I want to invest is being drained away by idiotic things. Like being stung five-8 times by Yellow jackets and having my damn arm swell up, or having another allergic reaction and having the same sodding arm swell up, the brakes on my car need to be replaced, the frequent rain, and just.. It's like being poked in the forehead constantly... ONTOP OF EVERYTHING ELSE.

I think the only thing that is keeping me some what vaguely going is my artwork and the fact that the cute waitress was flirting with me.

Not sure what that says about my pathetic life.:(

Things have been complicated. Part of me wishes I would have at least tried to get that some form of contact information from that waitress.:$
When it rains it pours. Keep your focus! September is near. If you can not draw, then sketch, make the idea for a drawing work in your mind. Fighto!
You can also pour different paint colours on your arm, then press down... fast art...

maybe this inspire you to make an art form of small tiles, which you rotate and mix-n-match to form a bigger painting...
having some experience in trying to do things so that others will notice/care: sure, it's nice to get attention, but if that's your motivation you may easily get discouraged when they don't care, or when you're not noticed as much as you like, and in the lulls when you have to set foundations that help you later that the crowds can't as easily appreciate. (lots of my software projects fizzled because i didn't see anybody caring.) so, do the things you like, not to spite an ex, to get recognition, or to prove yourself, but because you want to do it. just my two cents! know you're worth something regardless of what you do, or what you can do.
It's not the recognition or even spiteing my ex that is my motivations. I just want to create. However, things have gotten massively in the way of that.

I'm practicing and experimenting trying to 'see' how things work. I've written a bunch in my story. I am thinking about seeing if I can convert it to a visual medium. So I need to practice drawing other things.
Feels like I'm the mopey fool who is always posting in this thread. :(

Things have been rough. I've been feeling a fist like pain in my chest a few weeks ago it hit me so hard I could hardly breathe and it lasted for a few hours. My right arm is really weak, I've been having heartburn like effects where I've never had them before.

I feel overly fatigued. Things have been very difficult. Doing things with my right arm and hand feel like ive been lifting 100 pounds. But that's not all there's been a bunch of tiny financial things that have just been a kick in the nuts. Just got a speeding ticket today, PayPal unlinked my bank account making me miss a payment o_O so now it's double and they rejected a payment. So I relinked the freaking account and I am hoping it freaking stays.

Just tiny things building up. It feels as if a small child has been on my shoulders poking me in the centre of the forehead since July. Gah!!!!
Just tiny things building up. It feels as if a small child has been on my shoulders poking me in the centre of the forehead since July. Gah!!!!
Better than me doing it. Of course, I would get bored and probably start using a knife to poke your forehead, and I would probably draw on your face while you sleep. I would also hide things from you. And your back would probably be in bad shape, as I weigh significantly more than a small child.
Maybe it is you who is on my shoulder.
Would explain the stabbing headaches I've been getting, and the back pain.
Being overly fatigued can do that to you, but keep an eye on it and have it checked if it persists.
I am not a medic, but these are symptoms you should not simply ignore.
Usually your troubles are sends towards an organ. Say, backpains. Once the nervous system there is saturated, it will go elsewhere. Hence, this is still initial stress, which now requires more attention. relax. relax. breath. relax. do not play videogames, these stress you out. You want to relax. sleep more. Relax. Try to wake up naturally (no alarm/clock). Take a siesta if you are unable to sleep more at night. do not use your bed unless it is for sleeping. Also: eat more vitamins and less filler food.
Figure out your stresses and find ways to make them go away. Had my first anxiety attack today and it was just awful. 3 hours for it to go away. It just makes you feel like there's something seriously wrong with you when it's just stress overload. Take care everyone and chill out when things get a bit hectic :)
Joined a new writers forum. The last one I joined I can accurately compare to my experiences in st.paul, or maybe even a soviet gulag. Not joking the dynamics were about the same as how the Vor ran a gulag. o_O

This now forum is actually supportive and somebody was highly interested in reading my works. So i sent over a section of it, and she loved it. So I am sharing everything as a beta read... This is equally terrifying and exciting.

I got the engine back into 1986 crown Victoria, a friend came over, who is now becoming my best friend after this bs with my ex. She manipulated him into basically agreeing with her in order to manipulate me, and he just hates her guts. I think I am the only one who doesn't want to harm her. :$ Everybody else wants her head on a pike. o_O
So he came over again and we got a massive chunk of things done to the engine. So it's getting pretty close. Only a few more things, and then I can install the new exhaust system I got for it.. Which isn't close to stock. I think i'm doing the most mad max thing with headers, mustang racing X pipe and 70 inch side pipes.xD

This car already looked like a mafia enforcer owned it... now I have no idea how people are going to react to it.
I saw my lizard (or whatever) friend dart away again. I tried to sneak over to see if I could get a better look and identify the species. Couldn't find it. I think it was hiding in the hole under the piece of wood I tend to frighten it off of.

I have been trying to feed the cats in an area near that, so I hope whichever cat has been nibbling on the food doesn't make a snack of the little one.
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