The Caring Corner :)
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its not always that easy Klumpen, no matter how much the people around you value you. The best thing to do in this situation is consider all the positive qualities and traits that your personality has, even if you're in a depressed mood if you consider these things objectively rather than emotionally - most good people have more positive qualities than negative ones. Once you realise this then you can take steps to loving yourself more, but i can understand it's an uphill struggle sometimes.
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sebt3
homebrew player (P. & C.)
Being objective while depressed is damn hard. Depression will find a way to play with your emotions. No matter how many effort you make.
Qualities are either good or bad depending on the context (like : all the best computer scientist are lazy, in the context of automating works, being lazy is a very good qualities while in every other context it is not). Being depressed will make you see your qualities based on the wrong context, always.
thats true enough, but i always find it helps to try and distance yourself from feelings, even if you cant quite manage it you can still maybe gain another perspective
this again is because the situation is viewed through an emotional lens rather than objectively. I guess its harder for most people to distance themselves from emotion than it is for myself but i'd argue that not all qualities are context dependent; for example if you are altruistic then i'd say this is always a good quality, it might not always be good for the person who possesses it (may lead to them being exploited etc.) and might cause them problems but its always a good quality to display and its something i think everyone would wish to see more of in others.
this again is because the situation is viewed through an emotional lens rather than objectively. I guess its harder for most people to distance themselves from emotion than it is for myself but i'd argue that not all qualities are context dependent; for example if you are altruistic then i'd say this is always a good quality, it might not always be good for the person who possesses it (may lead to them being exploited etc.) and might cause them problems but its always a good quality to display and its something i think everyone would wish to see more of in others.
KillRoXx
Member
great I will become a computer scientist then
Null
Snug
Don't encourage depressive people in their whining and their reasoning for their whining, you are making everything worse this way.
The term "depression" gets misused more and more every year and this has it's roots at pharmacists and doctors, telling you
"yes, you cannot be the master of yourself without *insert product/service here*".
Stop listening to them. Depression is a state of mind and self-pity will always be your biggest enemy no matter what and people earn money with this habit in other people and don't want you to be your own master and free (of dependencies on their drugs and services).
The moment I realized, that self-pity is my biggest enemy and a bigger problem than all the shit I had to endure and would ever possibly had to endure,
I made a bigger step forward in loving myself than any other person could ever have achieved in me.
Today I say to these people: It's all your own duty and you CAN do it (I can only give advices how to achieve the state of mind you need for that).
My life mostly was badder than anyone here could imagine (I hope), so I know something about it.
Therefore: If I say "stop whining", I mean it in a constructive way and not as an attack.
It doesn't matter if all your loved ones died and you got raped every day or if you are just unhappy because your parents don't love each other,
in the end it always comes down to the way of your thinking and how you cope with things through this thinking.
Talking about problems is a great thing, but always look at the way you look at things.
Always see your "problems" simply as "circumstances".
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Null
Snug
Ok, my opinion is this: if someone is depressed, I personally don't think saying "stop whining" - constructively or otherwise - is very helpful and it's certainly not nice to hear. I also don't believe that depression is 'self pity'. Saying that, how strongly or weakly we feel emotions varies in each person, just as if we all experienced the same situation, the experience itself is seperate to each individual. Therefore, I don't believe in 'self pity', I believe that the emotions they feel at that time is too much for that person to cope with and may even hinder the ability to think objectively. How then, can one person get out of a mass of misery without the danger of drowning at the same time? Emotions are very real and can affect the way we think. It's very difficult to 'love oneself' if the negative emotions - which may cause the thoughts to turn negative also - are attacking you.
It's not so clear cut, but understanding and patience (even if you don't understand why that person is feeling bad) is what's needed.
In a nutshell, 'whine away', you're human
It's not so clear cut, but understanding and patience (even if you don't understand why that person is feeling bad) is what's needed.
In a nutshell, 'whine away', you're human
Null
Snug
Sorry I thought i'd been clear, I thought that your last post was shall we say "misguided"
, depressed people can't just think themselves happy you know it's not that simple.You are free to have other opinions anytime and ask questions if you do not understand anything but stop insulting me by saying I am "misguided" and keep your smilies and memes for yourself.Sorry I thought i'd been clear, I thought that your last post was shall we say "misguided"
I haven't said that and you know that I didn't.
Think outside of the box, people...
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Null
Snug
^
levi
Still fresh, damnit!
FWIW, negative self-image and depression are clearly linked IMO, and the latter will tend to encourage the former, but it's possible to have the former without the latter.
Anyway, lets not just make this a thread about psychodiagnosis. It's also a thread for us to moan about our real-life issues and for general hugs and stuff.
Group hug!
Anyway, lets not just make this a thread about psychodiagnosis. It's also a thread for us to moan about our real-life issues and for general hugs and stuff.
Group hug!
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Come along, everyone. Levi is right, this is a thread for us to share, vent, support and have huggles galore! No fighting, only love
Absolutely sick and tired of being judged by people who don't understand me!!!!!
and breathe..
and breathe..
Null
Snug
Seems like some explanations are in order, the reason I got snippy about your post is because it seemed to me that you were saying that depression is all just in a persons mind and can just be shrugged off like an old coat, and what with suffering from depression myself (over 20 years) that sort of thing annoys the hell out of me. The reason I never give anything away about myself is because I have trust issues and don't trust anyone at all (not even my own family). Also the reason I post pictures instead of typing words is because I find conversing with other people very stressful, so I try to make any interactions I have last for as brief a time as possible and pictures help me to do that. Hope that this explains things because if it doesn't then I don't know what else to do
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@Strigoi: It's good of you to take the time to explain things. Please don't feel bad *huggles*. I think there were just misunderstandings between you both. If posting pics etc is your way of communicating, that's fine. Post away, I say
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