Corrupt A Wish

[Blue Protoman]

Granted. They work, just not on whiteboards.


I wish someone would write this damn essay on Derrida for me. Without failing.

Granted. But the essay gets a barely passing grade (66/100; in most American schools, the passing grade is 65).


I wish my GPA was a 4.0 instead of a 3.8.

 

[vadsamoht]

Granted, but the system has changed. Your GPA is now 4.0%.


(on a side note - the pass mark at most universities here is only 50%.)





I wish it was Saturday.

 

[Blue Protoman]

Granted, but the system has changed. Your GPA is now 4.0%.


(on a side note - the pass mark at most universities here is only 50%.)





I wish it was Saturday.

Granted. It's last Saturday. You'll have to do the entire week over again!


I wish that I could play MC Hammer's "U Can't Touch This" any time I wanted, no matter the circumstances, and I could also turn it off at will.

 

[vadsamoht]

Granted. You now own an ipod.


I wish I could touch this.

 

[Blue Protoman]

Granted. But "this" is plutonium. The radiation gives you cancer.


I wish that MC Hammer sold hammers. The kind you hit nails with.

 

[vadsamoht]

Granted. You place an order and have to wait Two Months for it to arrive.


I wish I was MC Hammer.

 

[DaMummy]

Granted - You're bankrupt.


I Wish you two would just STOP! HAMME....oh damnit now im doing it too!

 

[Blue Protoman]

Granted. Peter time!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBsCfZzZEe0


I wish I picked a different shirt this morning.

 

[Anihil8ion2199]

You did! Then you walked under a black light... "evidence" became visible... everyone laughed!!! :lol:


I wish girls would stop wearing "MC Hammer" pants.

 

[Kur53]

You did! Then you walked under a black light... "evidence" became visible... everyone laughed!!! :lol:


I wish girls would stop wearing "MC Hammer" pants.

Granted, they now wear only your pants leaving you forced to walk around in your underwear. any time you try to buy pants they are stolen by a crowd of girls.


I wish someone would port Mumble. well.

 

[vadsamoht]

Granted. For the HP Jornada 680e (hey, at least I can play it that way)


I wish I was a better programmer, so I could port a lot of these games.

 

[Stradian]

Granted, You become the greatest programmer in basic.


I wish I could afford to meed ED in person.

 

[Austin25]

You give him your house.


I wish for my new hard drive. (It's supposed to come today.)

 

[Blue Protoman]

Granted. But it's from the 1990's; enjoy your 512 megabytes!


I wish that I got cancer.

 

[Stradian]

Granted, You received a cancerous tumor you mistake as a zit. You pluck the cancer clean off. Now your face is scared to the point where you will not find a mate.


I wish I could have some bacon in my hand this very moment.

 

[Blue Protoman]

Granted. It's scalding hot! You drop it. You're not injured, but the bacon lands inside a puddle of mud, and NOT your shiny-clean hardwood floor. Too bad!


I wish I had a fatal disease.

 

[vadsamoht]

You die. There is an international day of celebration. I get free drinks.


I wish I could stop time.

 

[Blue Protoman]

Granted. But before you can restart it, you fall off a cliff and die.


I wish that I would get in a car accident and die.

 

[Jourdy288]

Granted. Then your parents attend your funeral...


I wish I knew why Blue Protoman has a deathwish..

 

[Blue Protoman]

Granted. I'm trying to beat the system, with no luck so far. But because I told you, I'll have to kill you. I do so with a rusty spoon.


I wish that Craig would get scarred for life by something he would see on the Internet.