Moderation: Changes

[moxie]

So joking about testosterone induced stuff is ok now, but oestrogen problems are a nogo???

Well, more like: Joking about testosterone or östrogen is ok. Dismissing someones argument or position by saying "Oh, you know, don't mind mccobit - It's just his elevated testosterone talking. He'll stop bein so silly once he gets a good punchout down the pub" is not OK. Or rather, is worth a raised eyebrow.

 

[FaeMinx]

I find that most things in life deserve a good ol' raised eyebrow.


My forehead is actually permanently lopsided. True story. o.o

 

[gotwake424]

<therapy>

Perhaps you don't want to hear it but it has to be said perhaps .. and in the most friendly terms, I assure you! -- if there is a lot of drama around someone, usually that person is half the source of it; it doesn't spontaneously appear around the same person, all the time

So don't be so quick to dismiss it all as Dunny or other people (I've not followed any of those nasty threads, so I am lacking context) .. you do tend to stick your foot in it, and do definately perform your share of stirring it up It does seem liek Dunny was being unusually prickly, but you shoudl be mindful of your own behaviour as well.

(This applies to me as well.. the 1.5 years of total sleepdep I've been living with has made me less the considerate person I used to be; I'm trying not to be harsh on people lately, as a few times I was a bit snarky in recent memory )

Also, in RL, I've decided to smile more; I've always been easy going and chilled out, one of the hardest people to rile up anywhere anytime.. but the last year, too many kids, used me up! I've recvognized this, trying to return to a place of calm

jeff

</therapy>

Ummm...

Listen...I don't really like the idea of someone attempting to psychoanalyze me when I can't see their credentials, okay?

I say this not to be mean or start a fight...but you must understand the culture that surrounds mental illness in the United States.

Suggesting to an American that they need therapy...is generally a very insulting thing to say...because of the stigma which surrounds mental illness in this country.  I do not know if this stigma exists in other cultures.

Still, though...was it REALLY necessary for someone to drive another person to the level I was driven to...all for "teh lulz"  I mean, really.  Folks should try to practice being a little bit nicer, sometimes.  It doesn't hurt, you know...to be nice instead of mean, nasty and sarcastic.

IT is, I know, hard to remember sometimes...that over the Net...you're still talking to a real person, who has real feelings that can be hurt.

Sometimes, it might be best if everyone were to take a moment before pushing "send" on something they think is really clever...and say to themselves..."would I like it if someone talked to me in that way?"

But all water under the bridge now.

There's a stigma against recommending someone go to therapy in america? This is news to me 

 

[hailrazer]

Yup news to me to. Must be a Northern thing. Down south we're all in therapy. Sheep problems mostly I think.

 

[taylor-madeak]

*snip*

As it is, I DO see a therapist every so often - and this is because I find it useful to have a sounding board...who can look at a situation dispassionately - because she is not intimately involved in it...and sometimes she can give me a different perspective on the situation that I could not see...because I was too close to the situation.

I have one of those!  Permanently bonded to me with a ring around her finger.

 

[Kumaki]

<therapy>

Perhaps you don't want to hear it but it has to be said perhaps .. and in the most friendly terms, I assure you! -- if there is a lot of drama around someone, usually that person is half the source of it; it doesn't spontaneously appear around the same person, all the time

So don't be so quick to dismiss it all as Dunny or other people (I've not followed any of those nasty threads, so I am lacking context) .. you do tend to stick your foot in it, and do definately perform your share of stirring it up It does seem liek Dunny was being unusually prickly, but you shoudl be mindful of your own behaviour as well.

(This applies to me as well.. the 1.5 years of total sleepdep I've been living with has made me less the considerate person I used to be; I'm trying not to be harsh on people lately, as a few times I was a bit snarky in recent memory )

Also, in RL, I've decided to smile more; I've always been easy going and chilled out, one of the hardest people to rile up anywhere anytime.. but the last year, too many kids, used me up! I've recvognized this, trying to return to a place of calm

jeff

</therapy>

Ummm...

Listen...I don't really like the idea of someone attempting to psychoanalyze me when I can't see their credentials, okay?

I say this not to be mean or start a fight...but you must understand the culture that surrounds mental illness in the United States.

Suggesting to an American that they need therapy...is generally a very insulting thing to say...because of the stigma which surrounds mental illness in this country.  I do not know if this stigma exists in other cultures.

Still, though...was it REALLY necessary for someone to drive another person to the level I was driven to...all for "teh lulz"  I mean, really.  Folks should try to practice being a little bit nicer, sometimes.  It doesn't hurt, you know...to be nice instead of mean, nasty and sarcastic.

IT is, I know, hard to remember sometimes...that over the Net...you're still talking to a real person, who has real feelings that can be hurt.

Sometimes, it might be best if everyone were to take a moment before pushing "send" on something they think is really clever...and say to themselves..."would I like it if someone talked to me in that way?"

But all water under the bridge now.

There's a stigma against recommending someone go to therapy in america? This is news to me 

Well, it may be news to you.

But it is insulting to suggest someone needs therapy...it is as if you are saying they are unbalanced, not right...and usually is taken like this.....

"You got problems.  I do not.  That is why YOU need to go to therapy, because I'm perfect, and you can't deal with things, because you aren't perfect.  You are weak, because you can't deal with life on it's own terms...even though life keeps throwing shit at you.  If you can't just roll with the punches, then you are weak, and you have problems."

That is how it is taken.

 

[NearTao]

That is how it is taken.

It might be better phrased "That is how I have chosen to taken it".  Which is entirely fine to take it that way.  You'll never know 100% how somebody else might take it because you are not them.  To complicate matters they may behave differently based on a variety of social situations which can make the observation of how others react/interact far more complicated and difficult to measure.

Just remember, for better or worse the majority of the community here are technical and the way they read things is going to be skewed that way.

As a perfectly unremarkable example that can become complicated...

Wife: "Would you like to take out the trash?"

Me: "No"

Wife's thinking: The trash needs to go out, I'm busy doing other things and my husband can do it.

My thinking: She wants to know if I enjoy taking out the trash, why would she ask me that?

At any rate... don't underestimate the influence of contexts of what you (or others) post that you may not be fully aware of.  It is doubly hard because a technical person will often be trying to make a conversation more technical to be more precise while someone who is less technical is often trying to have a conversation to just understand and may need things to be more general.  Neither view point is right or wrong, but it does make for some difficult conversations until one person is willing to compromise in some fashion.

 

[Kumaki]

Well, at any rate...I know there is most definitely a stigma associated with mental illness, and with needing any sort of psychological help...at least in America, there is.