(Bad)Joke Appreciation Corner


My people-skills are unworthy of people.
I spend a lot of time on the internet, which is to say i dont spend much time anywhere else.
There are many things you can do on the internet, but none that replace what you can't.
Concious of this i'll do ok, but if i on occasion should happen to lay into you, know that it is
only an attack of the superfluous, your position, but never your person.
You may feel vandalized down to your very core, the essence of your being, but it is, and this is very important, nothing you can't change.

This monologue appeared in my head, it was without the extras towards the end, but it cracked me up.
I surprise even myself, so i am the bad joke here, but the delivery was benign.

Edit: I am the voluminous butt of my own joke, but only on account of there being equally great idiots.
When you argue only on the merits of the Internet, there are no winners.
 
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Teacher: If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Paddy: Seven!

Teacher: No, listen carefully again. If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Paddy: Seven!

Teacher: Let’s try this another way. If I give you two apples and two apples and another two apples, how many apples have you got?
Paddy: Six.

Teacher: Good. Now if I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Paddy: Seven!

Teacher: How on earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits is seven?
Paddy: I’ve already got one rabbit at home now!
 
If I see a wax seal with the shape of a swan pressed into it, could it have been made by a cygnet ring?

funny-textbook-fails-hidden-gems-67-57d7e57a7338f__605.jpg
 
I just watched a program about beavers...
...It was the best dam program I've ever seen!



Did you hear about the guy who invented the 'knock ~ knock' joke?
...He won the no-bell prize!



Two satellite got married...
...The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
 
One cow looks wistfully at his compadre and quietly said "moo", to which the other replied "that's odd, I was just about to say that."


Why did the cow get awarded with an OBE?

He was out-standing in his field.
 
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