(Bad)Joke Appreciation Corner


I fucking hate Jehovah's Witnesses.


I saw two men in black suits knocking on my door so I microwaved my hard drive.
 
A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200.

A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store.

How does NASA organize their company parties? They planet.

Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? Fo’ drizzle.

What do you call a big pile of kittens? A meowntain.
 
My 6 yr old niece - "What ticks on the wall?"

Me: "a clock?"

Niece: "no ticky paper tupid!"

======================================

Niece: "what do you call a dog with no legs?"

Me: "I dunno"

Niece: "you can call him anything he isn't going to come!!!!"
 
Last Christmas I gave you my heart,


but the very next day you correctly pointed out that it could not be mine as I was still alive and your fiancé had been missing for a week.
 
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