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I missed my weekly 'Liars Anonymous' meeting last night.
I was having a threesome with Beyoncé and Katy Perry at the time.
I was having a threesome with Beyoncé and Katy Perry at the time.
(Bad)Joke Appreciation Corner
- Thread starter Løra (Lolla)
- Start date
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I fucking hate Jehovah's Witnesses.
I saw two men in black suits knocking on my door so I microwaved my hard drive.
I saw two men in black suits knocking on my door so I microwaved my hard drive.
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My cat's just been commissioned to write his first autobiography.
It's part of a nine book deal.
It's part of a nine book deal.
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Was late to my first Fight Club last night so missed the intro rules. Still, Fight Club was brilliant and I'd highly recommend Fight Club.
Rykr_munstr
Member
A naked man wrapped in plastic wrap walks into his psychiatrists office. The psychiatrist says to the man "I can clearly see you're nuts!"
Rykr_munstr
Member
A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200.
A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store.
How does NASA organize their company parties? They planet.
Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? Fo’ drizzle.
What do you call a big pile of kittens? A meowntain.
A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store.
How does NASA organize their company parties? They planet.
Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? Fo’ drizzle.
What do you call a big pile of kittens? A meowntain.
Rykr_munstr
Member
What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).
A backwards poet writes inverse.
Once you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).
A backwards poet writes inverse.
Once you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
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My mum said, "You treat this place like a hotel!"
She will regret that when I give her a low score on TripAdvisor for 'rude staff'.
She will regret that when I give her a low score on TripAdvisor for 'rude staff'.
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My wife said she's leaving me because of my obsession with gymnastics.
I flipped out.
English is weird.
It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.
I got fired earlier due to my 'very poor attention to detail'.
At least that's what I think he or she said.
I flipped out.
English is weird.
It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.
I got fired earlier due to my 'very poor attention to detail'.
At least that's what I think he or she said.
Rykr_munstr
Member
The length of a minute depends on which side of the bathroom door you are on.
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I bought my friend an invisibility cloak. But I cant see him using it.
Rykr_munstr
Member
My 6 yr old niece - "What ticks on the wall?"
Me: "a clock?"
Niece: "no ticky paper tupid!"
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Niece: "what do you call a dog with no legs?"
Me: "I dunno"
Niece: "you can call him anything he isn't going to come!!!!"
Me: "a clock?"
Niece: "no ticky paper tupid!"
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Niece: "what do you call a dog with no legs?"
Me: "I dunno"
Niece: "you can call him anything he isn't going to come!!!!"
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What came first the chicken or the egg?
The chicken because eggs can't run.
The chicken because eggs can't run.
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The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my house.
I didn't know what to make of it.
I didn't know what to make of it.
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I've just quit my job as a London cabbie.
I really can't stand people talking behind my back.
I really can't stand people talking behind my back.
Rykr_munstr
Member
Joke from my Niece (6)...
Niece : Where does the president keep his armies? ... In his sleevies.
What did one eye say to the other? Don't look, there is something between us that smells.
Niece : Where does the president keep his armies? ... In his sleevies.
What did one eye say to the other? Don't look, there is something between us that smells.
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Rykr_munstr
Member
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
TEN-Tickles.
TEN-Tickles.
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I bought a second hand time machine next Tuesday. They don't make them like they're going to anymore.
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I'm so old, I remember when X Factor was just Roman sunscreen.
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Last Christmas I gave you my heart,
but the very next day you correctly pointed out that it could not be mine as I was still alive and your fiancé had been missing for a week.
but the very next day you correctly pointed out that it could not be mine as I was still alive and your fiancé had been missing for a week.
