(Bad)Joke Appreciation Corner

[JDTAY]

Guys, bad news. My pet turkey is gone. I tried following the sound of gobbling I heard, but it turned out to be a fat man gobbling up my turkey.

 

[Klumpen]

Three strips of tarmac walk into a bar, a black strip, a red strip and a blue strip. The barman serves the black strip and the red strip but sidles up before serving the blue strip and tells the others.
"I'm not serving him. He's a god damn cyclepath" (Psychopath)

Cyclepaths have been red here forever but the ones painted on the asphalt are green in some parts of town now.

 

[Null]

Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.

 

[rygD]

C'mon, we need some real groaners. Gimme your worst.

 

[Null]

I saw an ad for burial plots, and I thought "That's the last thing I need!"

 

[Null]

What do you call someone who points out the obvious? Someone who points out the obvious.

 

[FBnil]

Hey, question, what day is it today 02-02 (American notation) or 02-02 (European notation)?

 

[Djoga'Ro]

2020-02-02, if I have a say!

 

[Klumpen]

ISO 8601 - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

I only use that by now.

 

[ClockworkCoder]

Ooh, it's a palindrome!

 

[levi]

Surely a palindate?

 

[Djoga'Ro]

Was thinking, how we could have something like 2020-20-20T20:20:20. We'd just need to partition a year differently, in let's say yps (year partitions), where every yp has as many days as its number except for the 27th yp. The latter would have to make due with the otherwise remaining 14.25 days. Then 2020-20-20 would be 210 days into the year. Plus, we could have something like it, til 2323-23-23T23:23:23 or til 2626-26-26T26:26:26, if we also repartition the day.

Post automatically merged: Feb 3, 2020

I wonder, why they didn't think of it, when the came up with our calendar. ? It's important!

 

[Null]

Why are fish easy to measure?
Because they bring their own scales.

 

[gunrock]

How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

Just look for the fresh 'prints.

Post automatically merged: Feb 3, 2020

What do you call a dog that can do magic?

A labracadabrador!

 

[kuru]

The labracadabrador reminded me of this little gem:

https://vid.pr0gramm.com/2020/01/20/f463e8f57034916c.mp4

 

[Null]

What’s E.T. short for?
He’s got little legs.

 

[matzesu]

When EvilDragon and his Wife gets a Baby, is this then the „Dragonborn“ ??

So and now I want to get back to my Skyrim playing .. ^^


Whit best regards, Matthias

 

[FBnil]

When EvilDragon and his Wife gets a Baby, is this then the „Dragonborn“ ??

As you seem to like word jokes, I present you anagrams of "Evil Dragon"
favs: "A Loved Ring", "Darn Veg Oil", "I Lord Vegan", "Daring Love" and "Invader Log"

For the ones that are more into bad jokes, here is one:

What did the little mountain say to the bigger mountain? Hi Cliff!
Did you hear about the two thieves who stole a calendar? They each got six months.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? "Supplies!"
A pair of jumper cables walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"

 

[Djoga'Ro]

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? "Supplies!"

That's racist! ;P

 

[FBnil]

That's racist! ;P

no no no no, racist would be:

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? *cough* *cough* *cough*