(Bad)Joke Appreciation Corner

[Null]

I was very lonely so I bought some shares. – It’s nice to have a bit of company.

 

[FBnil]

I just helped a girl in the supermarket. She was crying and I asked what happened and she had lost 200 euro.
So I gave her 50 euro from the 200 I found at the entrance.
When God blesses you, then you must bless others too. Spread the love.

 

[Null]

Two boys were arguing in class one day when the teacher walked in to the classroom. The teacher asked them, “Why are you arguing?”

One of the boys replied, “We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.”

“You should be ashamed of yourselves,” said the teacher. “When I was your age I didn’t even know what a lie was.”

The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

 

[ClockworkCoder]

“In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.” – Terry Pratchett

 

[Null]

The three unwritten rules of life:

1.
2.
3.

 

[Null]

What do you call a joke without a punchline?

 

[rygD]

Why do fish swim high in the water?

Seaweed.

 

[rSl]

In the future, there will be fewer but
better Russians. -- Joseph Stalin

 

[ClockworkCoder]

The central heating wasn't working in the office last week so it was freezing. However I was really cosy and warm in the corner of the room. In the corner it's always 90 degrees

 

[rygD]

A limbo champion walks into a bar

And is immediately disqualified.

 

[ClockworkCoder]

A horse walks in to a bar.

"Why the long face?" , asks the bartender.

 

[FBnil]

I was at a job interview last monday.
And they asked me about my strong points.
And I say I was responsible.
Because in my last job, whenever there was a problem, my boss always told me I was responsible.

 

[ClockworkCoder]

Compared to South Korea, North Korea is so cold and unwelcoming. It's just so Seoul-less.

Post automatically merged: Nov 9, 2019

I feel so depressed after baking a cake. I accidentally swallowed some food colouring and I feel like I dyed a little inside.

 

[Null]

I would tell you a construction pun, but I’m still working on it.

 

[levi]

A horse walks in to a bar.

"Why the long face?" , asks the bartender.

Ah, the old ones are the best:

Three strips of tarmac walk into a bar, a black strip, a red strip and a blue strip. The barman serves the black strip and the red strip but sidles up before serving the blue strip and tells the others.

"I'm not serving him. He's a god damn cyclepath" (Psychopath)

 

[ClockworkCoder]

What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

One's really heavy and the other's a little lighter.

 

[ClockworkCoder]

I was thinking to have a brain transplant, but I changed my mind.

 

[Null]

For sale: Dead Canary.

Not going cheep.

 

[rygD]

There's a reason no one makes jokes about the Jonestown Massacre. The punchline's too long.

 

[Null]

Knowing how to pick locks has really opened a lot of doors for me.