(Bad)Joke Appreciation Corner


Lawyer: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

Witness: No.

Lawyer: Did you check for blood pressure?

Witness: No.

Lawyer: Did you check for breathing?

Witness: No.

Lawyer: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

Witness: No.

Lawyer: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

Witness: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

Lawyer: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?

Witness: It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

- Neelix
 
cryptic-humor.jpg
 
I went into the Doctors and said "Doctor I think my blood sugar levels are dangerously high".


"What makes you think that?" he asked.


"Well every time I fart I find candyfloss in my underpants" I replied.
 
"Has anyone seen my LSD tablets?" I called out.


"They're in your pocket," said my dog.


For every action, there is a social media overreaction.


"As you grow older, you become forgetful." My son said to me today.


"Who told you that?" I laughed.


"You did."
 
A tramp walks into a bar and asks the Bartender if he has any cocktail sticks. The Bartender hands him one, and the tramp leaves. Ten minutes later, another tramp walks in and asks for another cocktail stick. Puzzled now, the Bartender gives him a stick and again the tramp leaves. Another ten minutes go by and another tramp walks in.

The Bartender asks "I suppose you want a cocktail stick too?"

"No," says the tramp, "Have you got a straw?"

"Why do you want a straw?"

"Well, someone's been sick on the pavement outside and all the best bits have gone."

D.
 
"Ladies and gents."


That concludes our tour of the toilets.


I don't know why I just bought some new coconut shampoo...


I haven't even got any coconuts.


I was so upset when I discovered that Father Christmas wasn't real.


I nearly crashed my car.
 
I was at my mate's stag night yesterday, when he and his brother handed me a glass full of yellow, lukewarm liquid.


"Drink it," they said, giggling. It was only when I smelt it that I realised the prank the bastards were trying to pull.


Fosters.
 
Back
Top