(Bad)Joke Appreciation Corner

[Null]

Women say they like tall men.


But I'm probably at least 6'4 in these stilettos and not a single girl in this bar has approached me yet.

 

[FaeMinx]

What do you call a louse with bad luck?


Unfortu nit.


=~. O =

 

[FaeMinx]

Jokes about bad cooks are not in good taste.


=~. O =

 

[Neelix]

Jokes about bad cooks are not in good taste.

=~. O =

Probably because most of them are half baked

- Neelix

 

[Binky]

Probably because they keep mixing up the punch(lines)

 

[Null]

A human fart can be louder than a trombone.


I discovered that at my daughter's school concert.

 

[iprice]

A human fart can be louder than a trombone.


I discovered that at my daughter's school concert.

I nearly Tea'd my laptop then! Ace

 

[Null]

I'd like to thank Wonga for lending me a small amount of money to feed my family this month.


I'll be forever indebted to them.

 

[Klumpen]

The movie Lion King tought me to run away from my problems until I'm strong enough to kill my uncle.

Irony can be best defined by 15 year old mothers with protection hulls for their IPhones.

The son came home from school and told his father that he has to write an essay about "Theory and Practice" and he has no idea what that means. His father told him to go to his mother and tell her that the neighbor wants to sleep with her and offers to pay $500.000 for that. The son went to his mother and told her that. The mother said: "For such an amount of money I'll do it". The son went back to his father and said that he told it to his mother and she agreed to do that but he still don't understand what that has to do with theory and practice. Then the father told his son to go to his sister and tell her the same. The son went to his sister and told her the same. He went back to his father and told him that she agreed too but he is still curious what that has to do with theory and practice. Then his father told him: "Theoretically we are millionaires, practically we have two prostitutes at home."

 

[Null]

This Christmas, Eastenders is all set for its most shocking storyline yet...


Two rival families sort out their differences calmly, rationally, and without resorting to violence.

 

[Fzero]

A web designer walks into a bar, but immediately leaves in disgust upon noticing the tables layout.

An SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, pub, tavern, public house, Irish pub, drinks, beer, alcohol

 

[Null]

The best way to find out your true weight is to get on the scales naked.


Which is why I'm no longer allowed in my local Boots.

 

[Binky]

Some chemistry nerd jokes:

Did you know you can cool yourself down to -273.15 degrees and still be 0K.

Burgers contain less energy than steaks because they are in their ground state.

Whats the difference between a ketal and an acetal?

You can't boil water in an acetal.

A single tricuspid tooth in one dm3 of water is a one molar solution

 

[Null]

I would regard myself as open minded. If a blind man wants to drive a bus, I won't stand in his way.

 

[Ziz]

I think this is the best thread to tell you, how much I like TrashyMG! He is a really nice guy!

 

[Null]

Perforation is a rip-off!

 

[Binky]

Stamps made out of sandpaper - you can't lick 'em!

 

[Null]

I've sacked my tennis doubles partner.

I told him his services were no longer required.

 


I think about numbers 24/7.

And sometimes, the other numbers as well.

 

[rygD]

Stamps made out of sandpaper - you can't lick 'em!

Prove it.

 

[Null]

I saw that advert for Dementia and set up a direct debit for £10 a month.


It's been 8 months now, and they still haven't taken any money.