(Bad)Joke Appreciation Corner


FBnil

I promise to cut my personal CO2 emissions by 2060
Joined
Dec 14, 2012
Messages
4,381
Location
Yurp
Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw?

Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)?
Post automatically merged:

A man was complaining to a railroad engineer.

What's the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late.

The railroad engineer replied.

How would we know they were late, if we didn't have a schedule?
Post automatically merged:

Q: What has many keys but can't open any doors?
A: A piano.

Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
A: Yes, because the Empire State Building can't jump!
Post automatically merged:

In the classroom the teacher is asking a student to do something.

Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with "I."

Student: I is the ...

Teacher: Stop! Never put "is" after "I." Always put 'am' after "I."

Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
Post automatically merged:

Q: What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?
A: An envelope.

Q: If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?
A: Wet.

Q: What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?
A: A stick.

Q: What is white when it's dirty and black when it's clean?
A: A blackboard.
 
Last edited:

Confuzzled

Very Active Member
Joined
Oct 1, 2018
Messages
128
A man was complaining to a railroad engineer.

What's the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late.

The railroad engineer replied.

How would we know they were late, if we didn't have a schedule?
That reminds me of a story about Indian Railways and their timetables. A railway employee was handling a customer complaint, which was the trains were often late, in fact, very late, sometimes hours, or even days. What use was the timetable if you could not rely upon it? The employee replied sagaciously, that the timetable was, in fact, extremely useful and very reliable, as it listed the times before which it was guaranteed that the train would not depart.
 

Confuzzled

Very Active Member
Joined
Oct 1, 2018
Messages
128
Three pieces of string were going down the road on a warm day and decided they were thirsty, One of the three pointed out a pub, so they trooped in and sat down at a table. The first piece got up and went to the bar and asked the barman for three lemonades, The barman looked at the string suspiciously and asked "Are you string?". The first piece of string said, "Yes, I am, what of it?". The barman said, "We don't serve string here. Go away."
So the first piece of string went back to the table and said, "Look chaps, it looks like they don't serve string here, let's find another place."
"Oh no", said the second piece of string, "I'm really thirsty. I'm sure the barman will see reason, let me try." So up the second piece of string got, and went to the bar, and said, "Look, we're really thirsty, and we won't cause any trouble: can't you sell us some lemonade?". The barman replied: "Are you string?", to which the second piece said, "Well, yes, I am, does that matter?", and the barman said "Yes, we don't serve string, go away."
So the second piece of string came back to the table and said, "Sorry, it looks like we won't get served here, we'll have to go elsewhere."
The third piece of string said, "No, I've an idea, let me try", so up he went to the bar, spoke briefly with the barman, and came back with three glasses of lemonade.
"How on earth did you manage that?" cried out the first two pieces of string in amazement.
"Oh, it was quite easy, really.", said the third piece of string...
"I knew he would ask me if I was string, so I ruffled my hair and folded my arms and said: "No, I'm afraid not"; so he served me".
 
Last edited:
Top