Absurdism corner

Why?


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Reminds me of Kimiko Ross' plan to harvest energy from authors spinning in their graves
 
How about cat-toast levitation? A falling cat will always land on its feet, and a slice of buttered toast always lands butter-side down. From that one can easily see that, if a slice of buttered toast is strapped to the back of a cat, there is no orientation in which it can land while obeying both of those laws. Ergo, the cat-toast assembly can never reach the floor, and is an ideal basis for low-energy hovercraft.

Now, where's my research funding?
 
How about cat-toast levitation? A falling cat will always land on its feet, and a slice of buttered toast always lands butter-side down. From that one can easily see that, if a slice of buttered toast is strapped to the back of a cat, there is no orientation in which it can land while obeying both of those laws. Ergo, the cat-toast assembly can never reach the floor, and is an ideal basis for low-energy hovercraft.

Now, where's my research funding?
That's already funded: it's the nyan cat IIRC.
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The article is pretty dumb. For example, he mentions Greeks proving the Earth to be a sphere 2000 years ago, presumably referring to Eratosthenes' experiment (that's one issue I have with the article, it's too vague), but Eratosthenes only showed how large the curve was assuming that the Sun was big and far-away so that it's rays would be parallel. No flat Earther believes in such a Sun, so basically the experiment proves that the Earth was a globe if it was a globe. In fact, the experiment is useful for flat Earthers too because when one assumes the flat Earth model it shows how far away the Sun should be. Both kinds of Earthers get information from the experiment that fits in their model.

I also take issue with the picture which depicts a strawman. I do not mind them mocking flat Earthers, but they should at least give them fair representation. No matter how crazy the subjects of the report are, putting up strwmen and making false statements is just bad reporting. If I want to read an article that mocks flat Earthers then I want it to at least be factual.
 
I think they consider that the sun is some kind of weird flashlight with a weirdly shaped beam that only cover part of the Earth. There's also something about the moon helping with that.
 
Their sun is weird but globe Earthers say that the Sun is some kind of weird lamp that runs on nuclear fusion and uses space bending powers to keep huge rocks spinning around it. Both Suns are pretty weird when you think about them like that.
 
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