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@FlapJack I know that such a train of thought is relatively rare among ex-Christians, but my former relationship with God certainly wasn't helping with those thoughts. I already made it a bad habit stressing over trivial BS at the time, making big deals over small things that didn't matter, and feeling like an ass over what could and couldn't be interpreted as sin did the opposite of make me a good person. I went to a Catholic high school, but I grew closer with my more-religious Baptist friends because of their stricter interpretation of the Bible (no Purgatory, dying without sin on you is the only way to get to Heaven, baptism starts a life-long commitment to God and is therefore a choice, etc.) and because most of my peers were hypocrites in my eyes. How can you call yourself a Christian when you fail to hold up the pillars of our faith?!

Then I tested the pillars of my faith, my faith wavered, and a long road of re-programming my mind to live in a world without God released the burden of having to deal with pleasing God and led to the current, happier me. Releasing said burden helped a lot with those thoughts as well.

Not wanting to be at God's right hand because He doesn't exist disincentivized dying for me.

Also, changing the tone, I was cleaning my room and found the old, empty bottle of Bulleit bourbon my dad shared with me, and the part of your response talking about who'd be grief-stricken reminded me of that just now. Way to make me feel like an ass, bro XD

We're very different people. Thank you for sharing, @tigerroast It sounds like you gave up on God for a while. It's the Prodigal Son story. You'll come back. You will find yourself at a crossroad in your life and realize that you can't fix your problems, man/doctors can't, and you'll seek what you've been missing. There is a hole in us that food, water, drugs, alcohol, sex can't fill. You're a very intelligent person, maybe too much for your own good. be wise in what is good, and simple concerning evil.
 
There is a hole in us that food, water, drugs, alcohol, sex can't fill.
Yep and that is love. Because humans don't tend to be as loving towards each other as they should be, they need someone imaginary to fill this void. Children do this and some keep this mechanism or develop it later on.
At first glance there's no problem with that, but if you look more closely, it encourages the status quo and rather lets people become missionaries of some religion instead of love itself, just like you have shown here.
Maybe I sound like a hippie, but humans are social creatures, so sympathy is indeed a staple food without which your hormone balance is screwed up resulting in several problems like depression, a weak immune system, etc...
 
I don't wanna come off as cross or rude or standoffish; I just feel like this can blossom into a pretty good discussion.

It sounds like you gave up on God for a while.

"Giving up" is a very simplistic and tbh a very inaccurate way to describe my change in ideology. To give something up is easy, and that entire process was NOT easy. As mentioned previously, I had to re-program my mind just to accept the world for what it is as well as my place in it. Matter of fact, Megan Phelps-Roper quite accurately described how that process goes initially in an article I read from her a long while ago. Sorry for the lack of a link; can't think of the outlet and I only see her new stuff on Google.

It's the Prodigal Son story. You'll come back.

I doubt it. I already have a hard time trying to prescribe to any ideology as to not associate myself with people whom I disagree with most of the time. In terms of spirituality, I don't really jive with anyone, considering I don't believe in the supernatural. As for the Prodigal Son story, I'm not in a position where I'd go morally bankrupt. If you wanna take that parable literally, then it wouldn't be God I'd need, unless God pays me ofc.


You will find yourself at a crossroad in your life and realize that you can't fix your problems,...

I'm not proud to the point where I think help is never required. In fact, I go through life knowing I'm gonna need help at some point. Unfortunately, the kind of mental support God would give simply isn't the kind of support I require.

man/doctors can't,...

Oooooohh...now that's a slippery slope I really disliked in high school. Faith-healing and medical miracles came up a lot in higher-level Religion classes and, to this day, just mentioning the topic makes me want to play video games. Unfortunately, I always sat near the front of class in Religion-3 and Religion-4, so no Jetpack Joyride while discussing how people came back from the brink through prayer or Ben Carson's Gifted Hands.

...goddammit, I just realized that Ben Carson played a notable part in my life. Help.

...and you'll seek what you've been missing.

Haven't thought about it until just now, but I'm not sure if I miss much. The false closure, the false promise of an everlasting life I didn't earn or make for myself (well, literally make; there's that song about metaphorically building your house in Heaven out of "spiritual lumber" acquired in this life that I can't remember the name of), the false hope of prayer, the "reset sin counter to zero"-type repentance that didn't change much for me, etc., etc.

This forum should be renamed Memory Lane Time Machine.

There is a hole in us that food, water, drugs, alcohol, sex can't fill.

Well...food fills my stomach cavity, water fills my HP bar irl, drugs and alcohol give my stats temporary boosts in Fallout 4, and sex gets me unlocks in GTA: San Andreas. Time and a place for everything, I reckon.

You're a very intelligent person, maybe too much for your own good.

Lmao I fucking wish.

be wise in what is good, and simple concerning evil.

As a staunch supporter of the KISS method, I no longer fully appreciate that verse as much as I used to. Which is a shame; I remember really liking that one. Romans wasn't that hard a read.
 
there are people out there making sales-pitches for God -- "you need him in your life for this or that", when that's not the primary reason God exists -- i.e. to make our life pleasant. Paul being a notable example of how your life circumstances can turn very much for the bad, though Jesus might have been the forerunner in that regard... but perhaps it's heartening to know that what we've been looking for all along we can't find here. (though obviously i don't condone not trying to help out while we're around.)

i've heard it told as the "prodigal sons story," since both sons take their relationship with their father for granted, and look at him as a means to an end (having cash / a certain lifestyle / etc.). it's just that the morally bankrupt person tends to realize this (at least in the gospels, with Jesus sitting down to eat with sinners), while the "righteous" person stands in distaste. though of course there're always exceptions...
 
had a bad experience with my last Airbnb host. the first day, i got annoyed with the laundry facilities (due to some incorrect expectations on my part -- apparently Airbnb now thinks that having laundry on site, but for a fee, is the same thing as having free laundry in the room/apartment), but the host was overall very helpful and friendly in person. he sends me a text after i leave thanking me for leaving the place clean and that he'll give me a good review. then goes on to give me a terrible review, calling me whiny (probably justified), ungrateful (well, i appreciated what he did to rectify the situation, and i gave him a good review, so probably not justified), and that i moved a ton of things, etc. (somewhat true, but exaggerated, and it's not like we didn't try to put things back). just couldn't believe this "superhost" was so two-faced and dishonest.

i'm wondering if it's because i didn't text him back saying i'd give him a good review, too, so he thought i'd give him a bad one. just don't think i should have to play Friend or Foe during the review process with my Airbnb host. don't tell me you'll give me a good review if you won't.

oh, and Airbnb won't do anything about it because he didn't text me through their messaging service. which i understand, but i should think they should try to promote trust between host and guest.
 
@ible Can't please everybody. If you write your review with more details, maybe you don't have the need to change it later. Also: Mat 10:14

unless God pays me ofc.
He payed for us in blood. I'd say that's worth a few vouchers. Would want to know your opinion about the text in the song Sting - If I ever lose my faith. *(i.e. separation of religion/doctrine/manipulation and faith/1-on-1_with)
I don't know Ben Carson, but I am pretty skeptic, and it's probably placebo effect.

edit: fixed some sloppy typo's... thnx for pointing them out @tigerroast !
 
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@ibleWould want to know your opinion about the text in the song Sting - If I ever lose my faith.

Song's alright. Nice and mellow, but not like something I'd listen to on the regular.

I feel like whoever Sting's addressing (the "you" in the chorus) is kind of open-ended. This song could be interpreted as singing for God, bypassing the Chruch, but the lyrics aren't really specific enough. It could be a very sweet love song for some girl. I really don't know. Could be anything/anyone.

*(i.e. separation of religion/doctrine/manipulation and faith/1-on-1_with)

Honestly, I'm not sure if any of that has anything to do with the song. If it is a Christian song, then this would affirm Sting's individualistic spirituality. Christian without the Church, if you will (even though that's a point of contention when it comes to saying you're Christian: lack of church attendance).

I don't know Ben Carson,...

Consider yourself lucky.

...but I am pretty sceptic,...

Not sure what that means. Sceptic? Like...filthy? idk

...and it's probably plascebo effect.

Or what this means. What is the result of placebo effect in this context?
 
Having low self esteem is annoying. For example I have a bowler hat that I'd love to wear more often but I can't bring myself to do so because I worry that people will think I look stupid. It's even bothering me while I'm typing out this post by asking me why am I bothering other people with my childish problems. /Can't Win
 
bowler hat
post a pic of the hat! Usher wears one, and Raquel did wear one too. (Raquel's pic is kinda NSFW).
/Can't Win -> you should hang out with punks (people from the PUNK movement). They can teach you a thing or two about being non conformist and growing huge balls to not mind what others say.... pretty intelligent lot (punks by choice, not by fad).

What is the result of placebo effect in this context?
I... have absolutely no idea. I re-duck-duck-go'ed the man, and its a totally different person. Firm principles, good surgeon skills, etc. (I checked, Wikipedia now)

note-to-self: I need to stop posting late, when I'm more asleep than awake...
 
I wear my old fashioned (and quite expensive) hat when it's raining and I'm not driving my bike.
It fits my coats, keeps my glasses dry as well and I got my hands free.
A woolen hat or an umbrella only manage one of those things, so the practical aspects are huge for me.

The moment I realized that people give me odd looks regardless of what I'm wearing, my fashion sense ran rampant for a while. I'm still wearing my long black men's skirt once or twice a year and got some rare things/combinations from various small shops for the goth, medieval and hippie/ethno people and customized a lot of them.

In short: If you got a hat, use it!
Edit: related pic
 
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Having low self esteem is annoying. For example I have a bowler hat that I'd love to wear more often but I can't bring myself to do so because I worry that people will think I look stupid. It's even bothering me while I'm typing out this post by asking me why am I bothering other people with my childish problems. /Can't Win
Just tell yourself that you probably do look stupid in their eyes, but fuck what they think. Actually, that works in most situations. I know it isn't easy to do, but limit worrying about it to the times when it actually matters.

I wear my old fashioned (and quite expensive) hat when it's raining and I'm not driving my bike.
It fits my coats, keeps my glasses dry as well and I got my hands free.
A woolen hat or an umbrella only manage one of those things, so the practical aspects are huge for me.

The moment I realized that people give me odd looks regardless of what I'm wearing, my fashion sense ran rampant for a while. I'm still wearing my long black men's skirt once or twice a year and got some rare things/combinations from various small shops for the goth, medieval and hippie/ethno people and customized a lot of them.

In short: If you got a hat, use it!
Edit: related pic
I wear a variety of hats. I have mostly sick with ball caps in recent years, but I still have plenty of fedoras and such (real fedoras, not those ones I typically see). If I plan to be outside and not shaded for a while I will wear one with more coverage. Hmmm, well sometimes in winter if it is cold and I am outside for a while I go for something to keep me warm, so I miss out on sun protection, but most of the time I am under trees.

When it is raining I just get wet, and enjoy the rain. I see others run to avoid getting as wet, or using umbrellas or improvised things to avoid the rain. I love rain/storms. When I lived in deserts I also got to enjoy the strong smell of the rain. Usually the ball cap keeps my glasses (mostly) dry.

The looks...who cares, right? I will probably not be happy if I have to adhere to their dress code, and I would only be misleading everyone else until we have a conversation. My thoughts and words typically weird people out far more than any appearance I have that I could survive with long term (if I put what I feel like inside on the outside...may include actually making the insides more visible ;)).
 
The looks...who cares, right? I will probably not be happy if I have to adhere to their dress code, and I would only be misleading everyone else until we have a conversation. My thoughts and words typically weird people out far more than any appearance I have that I could survive with long term (if I put what I feel like inside on the outside...may include actually making the insides more visible ;)).
Exactly - and besides: Current fashion/dress code looks terrible and boring at best in my book, especially when it comes to men's fashion which tends to be extremely limited anyway and always makes them all look the same (including the hairdo).
This seems to be a constant in human culture though, ever noticed how men are all supposed to look the same? Does it have something to do with a subconscious "uniform"?
You can get anything from the men's corner in stores for clothes, it doesn't matter since it only varies in sizes. Put some laces on it and BAM! New style created you can't usually buy anywhere... This lack of variety is saddening.
 
I have mostly sick with ball caps in recent years, but

i'm sorry to hear your caps are sick with ball. hopefully they get better soon!

less on topic: i wear a stupid wide brimmed hat everywhere to keep the sun off my neck/ears. bought it in belfast, IIRC. forgot it when going to california, though, so i got an even-stupider-looking $6 gilligan's isle hat from the store. (well, maybe a little more coverage than gilligan's.) point being, i prefer less sun damage to fashion :).
 
i'm sorry to hear your caps are sick with ball. hopefully they get better soon!
"mostly stuck with" :)
It did it again when I tried to type it just now. I really need a Pyra.

And, yes, sun protection is more important than looking pretty. I wish 6 year old me knew that sun protection is also more important than comfort (not that blistering sunburn is comfortable).
[doublepost=1475713952,1475713223][/doublepost]@Striku, I forgot to comment on the other thing. I have terrible self-esteem, so I understand how much that can interfere with life. It had been a pretty significant problem for me as long as I can remember. It makes it easier for me for some things, as no one can say anything worse to me than what I tell myself.
 
I started going to Church and got baptised in 2012, now 49. It has changed my life. But still cannot stop the hidden porn and get my fiance of now 15 years and 2 boys (6 and 9) to marry me. I also work full time and so does she. She has nail salon and comes home sometimes at 9pm, Tuesday through Friday. Also Saturday from 9 to 5 and Sunday from 1030 to 5. I mostly work in IT from 8 to 5 Monday thru Friday. Watch the kids and take care of the house, cooking after 6 and on the weekends. Video games/gadgets are sometimes my outlet and the porn. Though the later is causing me to disconnect. Not sure if any body else has a schedule like mine lol.
 
When it comes to clothing declaring F' it and wearing what you like usually works out for the best.

I, when ever I can, wear suits, top hats and dress pants. Combined with my Soviet overcoat I get frequent compliments when ever my fiancée and I go go out into public. She dresses in a goth style whilst i dress in what people say is "representing steampunk " it's always amusing seeing those who get confused and unable to process that which isn't a social norm.

However, we frequently get compliments by people who, well, are obvious frequent places my fiancée does l.

However when you like how you look you tend to be more confident in yourself ergo people notice that, and many will give compliments.
 
FWIW, I find a smile always helps to combat accusatory stares in your direction. If you're like me it might be more that you just forgot to smile today, rather than what you're wearing especially.
 
However when you like how you look you tend to be more confident in yourself ergo people notice that, and many will give compliments.
I agree with this to some extent. With stuff that isn't too far away from what is deemed acceptable to your culture it goes pretty well, and there is nothing worse than someone wearing what is "right" and looking uncomfortable. When you stray too far away from what everyone else is ok with you could possibly run into problems, and this could result in assault or physical violence.

Somewhat related, I went into a seasonal costume shop today, and aside from most stuff being fairly cheesy, the few things I found that I sorta liked were "for women" (i very much fit several US stereotypes of men, and my somewhat plain "masculine" clothes support that). I don't generally care about labeling, however I get nervous when I think I might be making other people uncomfortable, so I tried to be aware of that, however no women that were not accompanying me were in that area while I was looking around. There were some nice things, but I was looking for crushed velvet opera gloves (for everyday wear). All they had were "opera gloves" that were elbow length, and I have somewhat long arms, plus no crushed velvet, so I looked at some other stuff in that section, and we moved on to the youth section because I am considering getting some bunny ears.

latest

Since they were Louise Belcher (see above) bunny ears I was told I could wear a green shirt, or my female companion could wear a green dress, which I of course blurt out "why can't I wear the green dress?" in response, not intending to make the woman helping us uncomfortable, but probably doing it anyway. Maybe they should have male bunny ears, like below, to avoid situations like that, not that it matters.
Gummo+Bunny.jpg

If I get bunny ears you can count on me wearing them publicly sometimes. As for the gloves, which I have been searching for for a decade, and I might have to give up on the long crushed velvet ones, and just buy some fetish ones I guess, but I don't know if latex would last as long, although it would probably not draw as much attention under long sleeves as the others would.

At one point I stated that I was probably wearing the scariest "costume" in the store since I was wearing a jacket that has a Weyland-Yutani logo patch on it. I suspect most people miss what I am getting at with that. Poor fools.


FWIW, I find a smile always helps to combat accusatory stares in your direction. If you're like me it might be more that you just forgot to smile today, rather than what you're wearing especially.
I never trust anyone wearing a smile! :p
Well, maybe I would make an exception for this guy:
la-et-american-horror-story-04.jpg



Oh, also, after our flooding we also got smacked with some weather thrown out by the hurricane, so I was without electricity for a few days (and my Pandora battery died :(), and now our water may be contaminated with sewage and such. I got to go play in the rain...I mean I had to go check out the damage, as an oak tree fell down:( and our cable somehow got wrapped around a tree. I enjoyed the aftermath, and had anticipated it all, and much more, so I still have some clean water and other ways to disinfect it, and we have a filter. I kinda feel bad for the trees that died, or are dying I guess, and wish it was early enough in the year for us to have weather that cuttings from the oak tree might have survived if I put them in the soil around where the roots used to be. Also, the flooding was much worse in other areas around me, with only a bit at one end of the land we live on.
 
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