So we are all going to die tomorrow

[MarioPandio]

They gaped upon me with their mouths, as a ravening and roaring lion.


I am poured out like water and all my bones are out of joint :


my heart is like wax , it is melted in the midst of my bowels.


My strength is dried up like a potsherd ; and my tongue cleaveth to my jaws ;


and thou hast brought me into the dust of death.


feel better now?? B)

I'm not familiar with the exact quote but its Psalm 22:14 If google is correct. Doesn't constitute any evidence though, as its from within the good book itself. It needs corroboration from outside historical sources from the era. Thats where you'll draw a resounding blank. So no I don't feel any better. Felt better helping you with Colem actually No hard feelings though and I'm not trying to be antagonistic to anyone. All have an opinion like an asshole right?


Actually I have some hard feelings now.


Must be the anal porn SONY linked me :lol:

 

[hakmanplayer]

Actually I quoted that from a song called 'HANG ON TO YOUR LIFE' by my favorite Canadian band = The Guess Who.


Just a random thought from a fellow assholeian. :rolleyes:


Speaking of rectal references, funny how colem and colon are phonetically similar.

 

[MarioPandio]

HeHe no worries.. I guess google doesn't webcrawl Canadian Bands. Enough of a fiasco with Brian Adams and Alanis :rolleyes:


Just be glad your not called Colin Powell eh?

 

[Viking]

so........whens the next rapture supposed to be?

2012 December something?

What did that crazy old guy say about October 21? Wasn't something going down that day too?

October 2011 or October 2012?

2011

volcanoes

Eyjafjallajökull erupted again, I think.

It actually did!


https://www.youtube.com/embed/Y6ljFaKRTrI?feature=oembed

 

[hakmanplayer]

HeHe no worries.. I guess google doesn't webcrawl Canadian Bands. Enough of a fiasco with Brian Adams and Alanis :rolleyes:


Just be glad your not called Colin Powell eh?

Rated 5 stars for being full of shit....general powell that is.

 

[Nintendo]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8FIzvzduNdU

 

[DavidBowman]

Is Jesus coming or what?


If Christ did return, how would we know? What would he look like? Would he be cool or just another asshole offering me Sunday brunch to get me to convert to Christianity? Who knows?


With these questions in mind, I set out on a project to find the truth about the upcoming return of our lord. Filtering through a lot of gibberish and boring information, a few key points were extracted from a fiction novel that was in my mom's nightstand.


"For The Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a cry of command, with the archangel's call, and with the sound of the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first; then we who are alive, who are left, shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet The Lord in the air." (1 Thessalonians 4:16-17 RSV)


1. Jesus will come back to life


2. Jesus will fly around


"And with bright yellow aura will he fall appear the sign of the Son of man in heaven, and then all the tribes of the earth will mourn, and they will see the Son of man coming on the clouds of heaven with power and great strength." (Matthew 24:29-31 RSV)


1. Jesus will have a bright yellow aura around him


2. Jesus will be ripped and powerful


"Then TheLord will go forth and fight against those nations as when He fights on a day of battle." (Zechariah 14:3-5)


1. Jesus will love to fight.


"On that day the Mount of Olives shall be split in two from east to west by a very wide valley; so that one half of the Mount shall withdraw northward, and the other half southward; and you shall flee as you fled from the earthquake in the days of Uzziah king of Judah." (Zechariah 14:3-5)


2. Jesus will create widespread panic through geographical disasters and earthquakes.


In conclusion: Jesus will come, fly around with a yellow aura around him, fight all the time, and in doing so creating giant holes in the terrain with his super powers.


I can only think of one thing that fits this description:

​

Yes, I was shocked at first too. No one could have known that Jesus was returning as a saiyan. I sure didn't, but it makes sense. Who else could regulate the earth with justice while still being ruthless and powerful enough to fire giant balls of energy at those who pissed him off? Amazing, isn't it?


Plus, the name Jesus has the letters "S," "S," and "J" in it. That cannot be a coincidence. It is certain now. Super Saiyan Jesus is coming and he's pissed.


Source: Ninjapirate.com

 

[Cameleon]

So days after the supposed Rapture we have Volcanic eruptions and now Winds of 100+ mph in Scotland wreaking havoc. I've got to admit it. It is all sounding a bit apocalyptic...

 

[Nintendo]

Is it normal for Scotland to sometimes have Winds of up to 100+ mph?

 

[DaMummy]

tornados are hitting the US like a wildfire as well

 

[Nintendo]

^ That's more or less a norm though.

 

[darfgarf]

Is it normal for Scotland to sometimes have Winds of up to 100+ mph?

it's very normal, in the uk we call hurricanes 'gale force winds'

 

[Nintendo]

Lol, here in Australia we call them, "Sh*t mate! Run for the hills, we're all going to DIIIIIEEEEE!!!".


Over dramatic Aussies, we are.

 

[AquaAnalogue]

I'm not sure I believe in the Rapture. If it happens I don't think people's bodies will disappear. I believe, in short, that the brain serves as our antenna to recieve/send data to/from our metaphysical soul. When/if the Rapture occurs, those who are at a personal understanding with God will be (optionally?) "switched off." Their souls will be redirected from their brains to whatever equivalent interface exists in Heaven. It's simple.


To the outsider, the streets will simply be littered with "dead" bodies. All at once all true believers, children, and those who've never been given a real chance will drop dead.


This will be explained in the mass media, with the prodding of the Beast, as a "tragic epidemic of a neurologically-disabling virus/EMP/other-explanation-here". Then, the Tribulation will begin.


If the Rapture theory is true. Actually I'm pretty sure I believe that Judgement Day comes at the end of Time (a.k.a. the end of the human race, because Time is a human concept).

 

[Asmo]

Apparently his self-described 'infallible' predction not living up to expectations hasn't deterred him -


http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-13516796


This time (October 21st) he's even surer that it's infallible, though he does include the disclaimer that he's "no genius", which is quite the understatement.


Also, despite having raked in millions of $ over the last few years, and not having disposed of it like so many of those who believed him, his advice to those who threw their life savings away amounts to 'you'll survive'. Irony overload.


Class action lawsuit ahoy.

 

[SOLGarion]

Hmm... the greatest thing about the Rapture is that it's not your last chance... so if every "true" Christian does disappear, you can get saved, fight in the Lord's army against Satan, and go with Christ to Heaven when it's all over.





I wouldn't be going either way. I've asked specifically in my prayers to be left behind, so that I may fight.


In reality, however, the conditions for Christ's return have not been met, so the Rapture cannot be happening tomorrow, in my humble opinion...

, quoting the Scriptures"]
and repentance for the forgiveness of sins will be preached in his name to all nations, beginning at Jerusalem.

Despite the best efforts of the evangelical churches and their ministries, the good news of Christ's love and forgiveness has not been spread to all nations. Christ himself said that this will happen; and so it must happen before His return.


Of course, if you're not a Christian and don't believe this sort of thing, then this will just come off as senseless babbling.

AA just raptured this thread.


And the end must be near, BlueProtoman asked for a thread in the off topic section to be locked...


As has already been pointed out, no will know the date so any quack with "bible math" who claims to know, is a crackpot.

 

[Nintendo]

Apparently his self-described 'infallible' predction not living up to expectations hasn't deterred him -


http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-13516796


This time (October 21st) he's even surer that it's infallible, though he does include the disclaimer that he's "no genius", which is quite the understatement.


Also, despite having raked in millions of $ over the last few years, and not having disposed of it like so many of those who believed him, his advice to those who threw their life savings away amounts to 'you'll survive'. Irony overload.


Class action lawsuit ahoy.

I'd love to smash this guy in the face.

 

[WizardStan]

When/if the Rapture occurs, those who are at a personal understanding with God will be (optionally?) "switched off." Their souls will be redirected from their brains to whatever equivalent interface exists in Heaven. It's simple.

I've been working an unprovable theory that the entire universe is a simulation. A race of extra-dimensional beings (who are probably human scientists, if scripture about us looking like God and angels is to be considered even remotely true) come up with an idea to create artificial intelligences. The team lead we will call Jehovah, second in command we'll call Lucifer. Jehovah wanted to see the experiment through to the end, but Lucifer wanted to use the experiments to create some artificial slaves. They have an argument, big infighting, yadda yadda, Jehovah should kick him off the team but good scientists are hard to come by and it would look bad to simply fire off someone so useful, so he's given menial tasks. Maybe they make a small wager: Lucifer can have some of the intelligences that spawn for his own experiments based on some game they have going. Chess, most likely, if movies and songs are to be believed.


At some point in time, their experiment starts bearing fruit, and humans start to gain intelligence in the simulation. Lucifer gets his little digs in to mess up the experiment every once in a while, but for the most part lets the experiment continue. Jehovah tries to get the experiments back on track by giving words to the people. These words are mostly misinterpreted because the people really aren't able to understand.


Anywho, by the end of the experiment, some number of the collected intelligences are to be taken from the simulation and implanted into robot bodies in the real world. There's probably a specific selection process, but some people have (intentionally or not) misrepresented that selection process to suit their own needs.


I'm still working on the why of this experiment is being done, but for the most part the what and the how line up with a lot of scripture.


It can even account for old testament vs new (management change, different funding source with a slightly different goal, etc...) and different religions (different sub-teams working on different theories within the same simulation)


It's all just one cosmic simulation, man.

 

[Blue Protoman]

Wow, that's actually really well thought out.

 

[Caine]

I've been working an unprovable theory that the entire universe is a simulation.

Related work: Are you living in a computer simulation?.