(Bad)Joke Appreciation Corner

[Null]

Our office defibrillator didn’t work. Nobody was shocked.

 

[ClockworkCoder]

I just got my dream job at the guillotine factory.

I'll beheading there tomorrow.

 

[Null]

What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck.

 

[Null]

Every Christmas I would look for sooty footprints near our fireplace. I was looking for Santa clues.

 

[Null]

A guy went to a costume party dressed as a knife, and he really looked sharp.

 

[Null]

 

[Null]

Last week my Doctor told me I was going deaf. I haven't heard from him since.

 

[FBnil]

ATTENTION: Due to covid 19, all tcp connections are converted to udp to avoid handshakes.

 

[Null]

I took up fencing.
The police insist I have to give it back.

 

[Null]

I can’t stand it when people repeat themselves pointlessly. I just can’t stand it!

 

[Null]

 

[ClockworkCoder]

On the subject of flat Earthers:

"If the earth was really flat, all the cats would have knocked everything off the edge by now."

 

[λ the β-Redex Reducer]

 

[Null]

This diet is wearing me thin.

 

[FBnil]

Where did Noah keep the bees?
.
.
.
.
.
.

Spoiler: answer

...in the ark-hives...

 

[Null]

 

[Null]

Someone asked me how you weigh an elephant. It's quite like weighing a person, but on a much larger scale.

 

[matzesu]

For me as a German, these Jokes are realy bad, because they don’t Work for me
„Wie eine normale Person, nur auf einer größeren Waage?? „ not realy working..
whe haven’t scale for Waage und Maastab booth..

No I’m sad because these Jokes


Send from something, i guess ^^

 

[Djoga'Ro]

What? Null told it in English.

"Was sagt ein Pirat, wenn er trockenes Gras sieht?
– A, Heu." wouldn't work in English, but that's not what makes it a lame joke.

 

[Null]

Null told it in English.

Offtopic: It surprises me how different my English is when I make a post here vs IRL. On here it's mostly standard English + the occasional tech/web term, IRL it's composed of standard English, local dialect, the occasional tech/web term, and frequent swearwords.

Ontopic: Why did my washing machine stop pumping out water? And more importantly, where is my hamster?