(Bad)Joke Appreciation Corner

[levi]

Too soon you say? As far as I've heard he's already a convicted criminal, so he's fair game, and there's a long tradition in this country at least of our humour being a little close to the bone as they say.

Ah, so 'the dog' is akin to teabagging, I assume?

 

[FBnil]

@levi Nah, not too soon. After reading up, he's fair game.


Hey @JDTAY Here's my leftovers (yes, my actual dinner) from today:

What I'm trying to say is... sorry I was mean to you. Keep up the jokes...

Spoiler: not teabagging (NSFW)

The dog actually comes from behind

 

[rygD]

Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs?

Because that's all that's needed for structural stability.

 

[levi]

It is, as they say, the way you tell 'em.

 

[rygD]

Oh, be prepared for more of the same.

 

[FBnil]

@rygD: Still waiting for "more of the same". More of the same, please!

 

[rygD]

I either need to find or think of funny ones.

Be patient.

 

[ClockworkCoder]

Geek chat-up line: Are you a keyboard, because you are my type.

 

[Binky]

Or, as an industrial history geek would ask: "Are you blocky, made of lead and back-to-front?"

 

[rygD]

Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because the shoreline is their natural habitat.

 

[FBnil]

Two octopi were walking along the shoreline... arm in arm, in arm, in arm, in arm ...

 

[Binky]

 

[levi]

That is a real octopi, AICMFP!

 

[rygD]

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

Gravity.

 

[FBnil]

So, I was giving support on another forum, then came across an old hack of Notepad++
And here was it's joke:

A male engineering student was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineering student took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it; and returned it to his pocket.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the boy took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The boy said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."

 

[Klumpen]

"Where did the hacker go?"
"He ransomware"

 

[Klumpen]

For after all, what was Constantinople itself, but a remaster of the Western Roman Empire, with slightly better visuals, a brand new religion feature, and an expansion pack covering Western Asia?

 

[Null]

My family loves to have dance parties. My dad will just play music from his iPod, and I’ll go to the light switch and make a nice strobe light effect. Everyone loves it, especially my younger cousin. He gets down on the floor and starts breakdancing! It makes him so happy, and he needs that extra joy in his life, especially since the doctor recently diagnosed him with epilepsy.

 

[Klumpen]

 

[Null]

Wife: Honey I'm pregnant.
Husband: Hi pregnant I'm dad.
Wife: No you’re not.