(Bad)Joke Appreciation Corner

[ible]

why did Shakespeare hate the pasta chef's son? -- he was a saucy boy.

never trust forest creatures -- they hang out in shady places.

someone broke in and stole my spoons last night. i'll never fork-give them.

 

[Null]

Last night in bed, I was gazing up at the stars and was thinking to myself…
Where the fuck is my roof?

 

[Autian]

A german one that came out of my head a couple of hours ago... it is so bad that I'm right in the margin between posting it and not doing so.

*Person A schmerzen aus irgendeinem Grund 9 Zehen*
A: Oh, meine neun Zehen.
B: Was? Deine Neunzehn?
A: Nein, meine neun... Zehen...
B: Was jetzt? Neun oder zehn?
A: Neun Zehen.
B: Aaah, deine neuen Zehen
A: Meine neun Zehn verdammt!

Sorry

Spoiler

In the german language, the words "Zehen" <-> "Zehn" and "Neuen" <-> "Neun" sound similar, sometimes undistinguishable in some accents but still having different meanings. So this is just a joke regarding misunderstandings.

 

[rygD]

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no-ideer

What do you call a deer the no eyes, no legs and no genitals?
Still no-****ing-ideer.

It should just be "deer" as the word has no I in it.

What do you say to a one legged hitch hiker.
Hop in.

That is how you call them, not what you call em.

 

[levi]

Woosh!

 

[rygD]

No woosh, just had to improve the boring jokes.

 

[Null]

They're meant to be boring so as to be on topic so keep your mitts off.

 

[rygD]

No!

I prefer they make me groan because they are so bad. And since when have we started on topic? Did you see my new case poll?

 

[Null]

And since when have we started on topic?

August 27th 1906.

Did you see my new case poll?

Fraid not I had better things to pretend to do.

 

[rygD]

Stayed. Stayed on topic.

Stupid "autocorrect".

 

[FBnil]

Sort of a break. spoken Jokes. Oldies but goldies:

 

[Null]

 

[ible]

a colleague at work sees colors when he sneezes. i think he's got synesneezia.

 

[Null]

I’m reading a horror story in Braille. Something bad is about to happen… I can feel it.

 

[ible]

after a fencing battle between sword fish, at least one is a sore fish.

 

[Null]

Do you know how to make a hotdog stand?
You take his seat away.

How did Moses cut the sea in half?
With a seasaw.

I can’t stand it when people repeat themselves pointlessly. I just can’t stand it!

 

[ible]

some flying fish make fun of normal fish. seems like they're soar winners.

 

[ible]

why did the wheel stop rolling?

...

it was tire'd.

did you know camping is not for everybody? yeah, it's really in-tents.

 

[Null]

This morning my alarm went off. I thought its sell by date was tomorrow.

 

[FBnil]

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