(Bad)Joke Appreciation Corner

[rygD]

 

[Null]

Who is the greatest chicken-killer in Shakespeare? Macbeth, because he did murder most foul.

 

[PokeParadox]

puns about sausages are just die wurst.

 

[Null]

I spent half an hour trying to take off my girlfriend's bra. I give up. I wish I'd never tried it on in the first place.

 

[FBnil]

Doctor, doctor, you have a rectal thermometer behind your ear.
Oh! Some asshole stole my pen!

 

[Null]

 

[Null]

Something about subtraction just doesn't add up.

 

[Inimuk]

What sound do nuts make when they sneeze?

Spoiler

"Cashew!"

 

[PokeParadox]

I was going to tell you guys a joke about time travel...

Spoiler

but you guys didn't like it.

 

[Null]

 

[PokeParadox]

I was going to take a job in porn...

Spoiler

but they told me to beat it!

Dr: You have a case of chronic onomatopoeia.
Patient: Oh God, no! What's that!?
Dr: Exactly what it sounds like.

 

[Null]

My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.

 

[Null]

 

[CabinetofJoy]

There was a rather judicious tradesman who complained that because there was some offal on a tool he was using, he would have to carefully extricate it, use a clean cloth to remove any remnant of debris and compare results to a previous benchmark before he could return to a task. His decisive foreman bid him to knock that shit off and get back to work.

 

[Null]

Wherever I go, I’m greeted with much warmth.
Derek, 53, Fireman

 

[Inimuk]

Opaque published its transparency report.

Spoiler

It's pretty solid.

 

[Null]

Last night my girlfriend and I watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the TV.

 

[Null]

I just wrote a book on reverse psychology.
Please don't buy it.

 

[Null]

 

[CabinetofJoy]

I regard bad puns like the Astronomer who looked at the north star and said, "Surely you can't be Sirius."