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(Bad)Joke Appreciation Corner

Discussion in 'Offtopic Discussions' started by Løra (Lolla), Oct 18, 2013.

  1. DrHAX

    DrHAX T̶h̶e̶ ̶A̶u̶t̶h̶o̶r̶ The Artist

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    This is the bad joke thread right.:p

    I'm writing a romance novel about two pyromaniacs. It's called passion ignites.
     
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  2. PokeParadox

    PokeParadox Founder of Pirate Games - Penjin Coder Staff Member

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    That sounds hot!
     
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  3. rygD

    rygD Nihilistic Mystic

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    Mind giving us a sample of some of the steamier parts?

    Indeed.
     
  4. Neelix

    Neelix Insecticidal Maniac

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    Yes, but there's a difference between a bad joke and a badly presented joke. :p

    -Neelix
     
  5. rygD

    rygD Nihilistic Mystic

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    Yes, and both are bad. I try to combine them both, because a joke is a joke, and as long as I think it is funny it was successful for me. Now I don't know which joke I recently heard to share, so I guess I should share them both.

    "Two guys live in an insane asylum. And one night, one night they decide they don't like living in an asylum any more. They decide they're going to escape! So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moon light... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend did not dare make the leap. Y'see... Y'see, he's afraid of falling. So then, the first guy has an idea... He says 'Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!' B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says 'Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!'"
    -Joker to that guy that pretends to be a bat, at the end of The Killing Joke. They both laughed, because...;)

    “What’s the difference between a pimple and a priest?
    A pimple waits until you’re 12 to come on your face.”
    -Rev. Matthew Jamison, trying to be permitted to board the orgy ferry so he can reach Australia in time to complete his holy mission, from The Leftovers
     
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  6. Neelix

    Neelix Insecticidal Maniac

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  7. ClockworkCoder

    ClockworkCoder Active Member

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    Jesus was such an innovator. Didn't he invent scarecrows?

    I exercise religiously. I go twice a year, during holidays.

    Sorry for these. I was just trying to resurrect this thread :p
     
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  8. rygD

    rygD Nihilistic Mystic

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    Don't be sorry, I like them.
     
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  9. ible

    ible Advanced Guard Tower

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    despite differing opinions, i was nice to a guy who had two wives. i thought that was pretty big-of-me.
     
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  10. FBnil

    FBnil ¡sɥʇuoɯ oʍʇ uı ɐɹʎԀ

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  11. ClockworkCoder

    ClockworkCoder Active Member

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    I'm a frayed knot, although I think you should take a bow for bringing the good noose to this thread.

    So here's hoping that the 4GB issue will be solved without any (half) hitches. Perhaps bad jokes can tied us over until release, after all, it's bound to be soon!
     
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  12. Binky

    Binky Death's Steed Staff Member

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    If I hit an Irishman over the head with a cheap plastic ornament, is that a knick-knack paddy-whack?
    What if I'm standing in a rice field at the time?
     
    Last edited: Sep 5, 2017
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  13. FBnil

    FBnil ¡sɥʇuoɯ oʍʇ uı ɐɹʎԀ

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    Yesterday a clown held a door open for me. I thought it was a nice jester.

    When you are cold, go sit in a corner because it is 90 degrees.

    Compared to earth, the view from the moon is great, but there is no atmosphere.

    I have a fear of speed bumps. I'm slowly getting over it.
     
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  14. rygD

    rygD Nihilistic Mystic

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    I am so going to use this joke in a couple months to try to keep my heating costs down. I just need to be ready to dodge any hands or feet that come my way after telling it.
     
  15. FBnil

    FBnil ¡sɥʇuoɯ oʍʇ uı ɐɹʎԀ

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    Just remove the heatsink from your Pyra and replace it with a long copper cable; wrap it around you and run the PS2 emulator.
     
  16. rygD

    rygD Nihilistic Mystic

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    I'm not the one that gets cold, though. Will PS2 work on the Pyra? I thought we would only be able to do PSx2. But Dreamcast! And Eldritch, once ptitSeb ports it for us...plus tons of other stuff, and I can get back to casual browsing while lounging around and not need to use a touchscreen to type. I think I am a bit excited, as the latest news made it seem like it will be here soon.

    I don't have any bad jokes, but I will try to come back with some soon.
     
  17. FBnil

    FBnil ¡sɥʇuoɯ oʍʇ uı ɐɹʎԀ

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    @rygD: it was more as a joke, by the time the Pyra gets released. Although one emulator is in early stages: http://purei.org/ Eventually we will see PCSX2-ReArmed around 2021, by my best estimate.


    Fun fact: The Dragonshop is located in Darmstad. There is an element in the periodic table called Darmstadtium. If you take its atomic weight, substract 60 (30 days in a month, 2 months) from it and divide it by the amount of protons it has... you get... 2 months!

    ((281-60)/110) = 2.00909090909091

    The rounding error only goes away in a leap year, if you take the 366 days and divide them by 12 (months), you get 30.5 (days in a month), thus: ((281-(2*30.5))/110) = 2

    oh, right... joke corner... uh... how about:

     
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  18. rygD

    rygD Nihilistic Mystic

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    I figured that, about the waterfalls. Don't they have to live underground down there so they don't fall off? I remember seeing a show about how they mine for opals, then use the the space from the removed rock or whatever to live in.
    I understand why they really do that in Coober Peady or however you spell it, as I would do that if I wasn't going to build something Earth sheltered or make an Earthship.
     
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  19. FBnil

    FBnil ¡sɥʇuoɯ oʍʇ uı ɐɹʎԀ

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    [Funeral]

    Me: "Do you mind if I say a word?"

    Widow: "Please do"

    Me *clears throat: "Plethora!"

    Widow: "Thank you. That means a lot."
     
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  20. ible

    ible Advanced Guard Tower

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    an Indian brought in food to share with his work colleagues. it was an obvious attempt to curry favor with his team.
     
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