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(Bad)Joke Appreciation Corner

Discussion in 'Offtopic Discussions' started by Løra (Lolla), Oct 18, 2013.

  1. Uncle Jack

    Uncle Jack Television Personality

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    What's blue and doesn't weigh much?
    Light blue.
     
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  2. levi

    levi Still fresh, damnit!

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    This thread really needs a 'groan' button in addition to (or possibly replacing) the 'like' button.
     
    DrHAX and FBnil like this.
  3. ClockworkCoder

    ClockworkCoder Active Member

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    6:30 is the best time of day, hands down.
     
  4. Uncle Jack

    Uncle Jack Television Personality

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    Why did the man name his dogs Rolex and Timex?
    Because they were watch dogs.
     
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  5. FBnil

    FBnil ¡sɥʇuoɯ oʍʇ uı ɐɹʎԀ

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    ... and then he got a copyright infringement notice from Rolex, Timex and UbiSoft... so now he has to rename his dogs... F2
     
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  6. Binky

    Binky Death's Steed Staff Member

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    ^ Wouldn't that be trademark infringement?
     
  7. FBnil

    FBnil ¡sɥʇuoɯ oʍʇ uı ɐɹʎԀ

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    ... not if one of the dogs was female, and the other one male... :)

    TL;DR: Yeah, you are right... lapsus linguae
     
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  8. Uncle Jack

    Uncle Jack Television Personality

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    What must you know to be an auctioneer? Lots.
     
  9. Uncle Jack

    Uncle Jack Television Personality

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    The punctual zombie was undead on time.
     
  10. Uncle Jack

    Uncle Jack Television Personality

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    Did you know they won't be making yard sticks any longer?
     
    levi and ClockworkCoder like this.
  11. ible

    ible Advanced Guard Tower

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    my dog had a debilitating addiction to chewing through stuff, but after rehab and gaining some metal he's got a new leash on life.
     
  12. Uncle Jack

    Uncle Jack Television Personality

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    She got fired from the hot dog stand for putting her hair in a bun.
     
  13. Uncle Jack

    Uncle Jack Television Personality

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    I was lonely, so I bought some shares. It's nice to have a bit of company.
     
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  14. comradekingu

    comradekingu Glowing ember

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    bob was reluctant to comment on annies sudden weight gain, for fear she had taken a conscious decision to wearing a bomb vest.
     
    levi likes this.
  15. Uncle Jack

    Uncle Jack Television Personality

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    Never lie to an x-ray technician. They can see right through you.
     
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  16. DrHAX

    DrHAX T̶h̶e̶ ̶A̶u̶t̶h̶o̶r̶ The Artist

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    I borrowed a watch and was late to work. The boss wasn't pleased with me being on somebody else's time.
    --- Double Post Merged, Jun 2, 2017, Original Post Date: Jun 2, 2017 ---
    I recently took a trip to Pripyat, the hotel we stayed at had glowing reviews.
     
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  17. Uncle Jack

    Uncle Jack Television Personality

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    I've been to the dentist several times so I know the drill.
     
    DrHAX likes this.
  18. DrHAX

    DrHAX T̶h̶e̶ ̶A̶u̶t̶h̶o̶r̶ The Artist

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    I once invited a comedian to my house for dinner. He tasted funny.

    In my youth I stole a bucket of paint but spilt it on myself. I was caught red handed.

    Some people say decapitation is the only way to get ahead in life.
     
    Last edited: Jun 2, 2017
    ible and Uncle Jack like this.
  19. Uncle Jack

    Uncle Jack Television Personality

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    Aim for the stars! But first take care of the bodyguards.
     
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  20. DrHAX

    DrHAX T̶h̶e̶ ̶A̶u̶t̶h̶o̶r̶ The Artist

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    I got into an argument with my barber. It was a very hairy situation.
     
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