(Bad)Joke Appreciation Corner


I've just been trying to renew our home insurance and the cheapest quote I can get is over £3000 with a £1000 excess for loss or damage by fire.


I knew we shouldn't have moved to Pontypandy.
 
I was in a public restroom when a bloke banged on the door.


"I'm having a poo," I shouted, "Just wait."


He said, "How long?"


I said, "About eight inches at a guess, I don't have a ruler."
 
My old grandad's been quite ill recently so I went to a homeopath.


"Your grandfather is not sick," he said, "he merely believes he is. Let him know and he will soon recover."


A few days later I stopped by again for more help.


"I think you'll have to come tell him yourself," I told him. "Now the old bastard thinks he's dead."
 
I was with my girlfriend, looking at rings in the window of the local jewellers.


"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" she said.


On reflection, "I don't know, does it involve sheep?" was probably not the best answer.
 
I never credited the old lady next door with much creativity but this morning I noticed that she has crafted the most exquisitely realistic snow sculpture of a woman lying on her driveway.


I must go around to congratulate her after work.
 
I used to be part of a small group of brass players and percussionists, but we were forced to split up last year.

I suppose you could say we were disbanded
 
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