Why do farmers like wearing wool? Because it's sheep and shearful
(Bad)Joke Appreciation Corner
- Thread starter Løra (Lolla)
- Start date
Null
Snug
I took a girl back to my flat.
"You haven't removed many bras have you?" she sighed.
"What gave it away?"
"The scissors, mainly."
"You haven't removed many bras have you?" she sighed.
"What gave it away?"
"The scissors, mainly."
Teacher: "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Child: "A cooker"
Teacher: "Oh, I think you mean a chef, dear"
Child: "No, really. I want to be a cooker"
Child: "A cooker"
Teacher: "Oh, I think you mean a chef, dear"
Child: "No, really. I want to be a cooker"
Null
Snug
My mum ran off with the milkman when I was eight years old.
Watching them drive away on his float were the worst three hours of my life.
Watching them drive away on his float were the worst three hours of my life.
Night
Passerby.
- Joined
- Dec 23, 2008
- Messages
- 253
Here's something i found on Reddit (link):
At a hotel restaurant, a man sees an attractive woman sitting alone at the next table.
Suddenly, she sneezes, and a glass eye comes flying out of her eye socket. It hurls by the man, and he snatches it from the air and hands it back to her.
"This is so embarrassing," the woman says, and she pops her eye back in place.
"I'm sorry to have disturbed you. Let me buy dinner to make it up to you. May I join you?" He nods.
The woman is a stimulating conversationalist, stunningly pretty, and the man finds they have a lot in common. He gets her phone number and asks, "You are the most charming woman I've ever encountered. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"
"No," she replies. "You just happened to catch my eye."
At a hotel restaurant, a man sees an attractive woman sitting alone at the next table.
Suddenly, she sneezes, and a glass eye comes flying out of her eye socket. It hurls by the man, and he snatches it from the air and hands it back to her.
"This is so embarrassing," the woman says, and she pops her eye back in place.
"I'm sorry to have disturbed you. Let me buy dinner to make it up to you. May I join you?" He nods.
The woman is a stimulating conversationalist, stunningly pretty, and the man finds they have a lot in common. He gets her phone number and asks, "You are the most charming woman I've ever encountered. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"
"No," she replies. "You just happened to catch my eye."
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Null
Snug
I'm considering becoming a mind reader.
What are your thoughts?
What are your thoughts?
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- Age
- 40
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- UK
- Website
- pokeparadox.itch.io
- WEBSITE
- https://github.com/pokeparadox
- YOUTUBE
- pokeparadox
Don't give up your day job.
Null
Snug
A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.
The librarian says, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."
The librarian says, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."
Null
Snug
I've just been fired by Pepsi.
I tested positive for Coke.
I tested positive for Coke.
Null
Snug
Our computers went down at work today, so we had to do everything manually.
It took me twenty minutes to shuffle the cards for Solitaire.
It took me twenty minutes to shuffle the cards for Solitaire.
- Joined
- Dec 8, 2005
- Messages
- 6,603
- Age
- 40
- Location
- UK
- Website
- pokeparadox.itch.io
- WEBSITE
- https://github.com/pokeparadox
- YOUTUBE
- pokeparadox
I wanted to make a Zelda pun, but I thought it best not to try forcing it.
Null
Snug
There's nothing I like more than a woman who knows what she wants in the bedroom.
It makes my job at IKEA that much easier.
It makes my job at IKEA that much easier.
Null
Snug
I've invented a more efficient whisk.
It's causing quite a stir.
It's causing quite a stir.
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Null
Snug
I've got a part time job for a company making rubberised computer keyboards.
They offer flexible shifts.
They offer flexible shifts.
Null
Snug
I got off the bus early because I didn't want to be the only one left on there.
God knows who drove the bus back to the station in the end.
God knows who drove the bus back to the station in the end.
Null
Snug
Exclusivity is great, but it's not for everyone.
This is unfortunate, you need to know a little bit of italian (voices) or dutch (subtitles) to understand the joke... or, just wait for the clue at the end... still funny!
https://www.youtube.com/embed/8vEKRiFas_M?feature=oembed
https://www.youtube.com/embed/8vEKRiFas_M?feature=oembed
Null
Snug
How do you get a child to stop wetting the bed?
Give him an electric blanket.
Give him an electric blanket.
Null
Snug
I helped an old lady cross the road into a shop today.
Pity it was through the window, with my landrover.
Pity it was through the window, with my landrover.
