(Bad)Joke Appreciation Corner


A pregnant woman calls up the hospital as her midwife is late for their appointment.


One of the midwives says "your midwife is on her way".


The midwife suddenly turns up in a sports car, dressed like a teenager, and with her toyboy.


Obviously this is inappropriate, so the pregnant woman turns her away.


That is what you call a 'mid wife crisis'


:D
 
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They asked her to give it a chance and she agreed.

While she was there she was sat watching the TV and all of a sudden she started falling to one side. The nurse ran over and straightened her up.

This happened again and again until her family came to visit.

Thy asked here "How are you settling in?"

"OK", she said, "The people and staff are very nice, but they won't let me fart!"
 
Three ladies were discussing the travails of getting older.


One said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand, while standing in front of


the refrigerator, and I can't remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich."


The second lady chimed in with, "Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can't remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down."


The third one responded, "Well, ladies, I'm glad I don't have that problem. Touch wood," as she rapped her knuckles on the table, and then said, "That must be the door, I'll get it."
 
Our roof was falling in, so we hired an applied physicist to stand there all day holding it up.

Is that what you'd call "a structural engineer"?
 
The pilot was a loner but even for him flying a drone was just too remote.


The carpenter came round the other day, he made the best entrance I have ever seen.
 
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