(Bad)Joke Appreciation Corner

[Null]

Baby balloon can't sleep, so he gets into bed with mummy and daddy balloon. But there isn't enough space, so he lets some air out of himself. It's still a bit of a squeeze so he lets some air out of daddy balloon. Still not happy he lets some air out of mummy balloon. Ahhhhh perfect, he then drops into a long and peaceful sleep. 

 

In the morning he wakes to find daddy balloon looking angry. 

 

"Son, not only have you let yourself down, but you've let your mother and I down too!" 

 

[Null]

When calculators were first invented, the costs could quickly add up.

But then their prices came down, and they soon began to multiply.

 

[rygD]

When calculators were first invented, the costs could quickly add up.

But then their prices came down, and they soon began to multiply.

/me tries multiplying on an abacus with a blank look

As true as your joke may be I have no clue what I am doing.

 

[Null]

I know a farmer who has 200 head of cattle. He thought there were only 196 until he rounded them up.

 

[Null]

Horses may get into the movies, but they're usually saddled with the bit parts.

 

[Null]

Why don't pigs use the telephone?

Because there's crackling on the line.

 

[rygD]

So they would eat the line?

It looks wrong when it is spelled out, because I have never heard it said that way.

 

[Null]

https://www.wordnik.com/words/crackling

 

[rygD]

I know, and I got the pun.  I don't think pigs are averse to cannibalism. 

 

[Null]

^ Jolly good.

I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad I take something for it.

 

[Løra (Lolla)]

Patient: Doctor doctor, I feel like a bell!


Doctor: Have a little sleep, and if that doesn't work, give me a ring.

 

[Null]

Birthday candles are for people who want to make light of their age.

 

[Null]

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.


Past, Present and Future walked into a bar. It was tense.


When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

 

[Null]

 

[Null]

My church accepts any denomination. But they prefer tens and twenties.

 

[PokeParadox]

What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear!

 

[Null]

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure...

 

[Null]

When ceiling fans were invented, they were considered revolutionary.

 

[Null]

The best way to make an apple crumble is to torture it for 10 minutes.

 

[comradekingu]

In the 70s you might at times think you were a hemiepiphyte, but it would only be a fig of your imagination.