(Bad)Joke Appreciation Corner

[PokeParadox]

What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking in a house fire.

Ugh... that's definitely... bad.


Anyhoo lifted straight out of Majora's Mask:


Did you hear about the kidnapping?


Kidnapping?


Yes everyone was worried but then he woke up!

 

[comradekingu]

The right to bare arms

 

[Saber]

Not into crude jokes that much but this was funny.

James was on the beach, and could not understand why Bob had attracted all the girls, while he had no luck. So he asked Bob "why do you get all the girls and I get nothing?"   Bob replied "take a potato and tuck it in your swimming trunks. It drives the women wild!"   So James stuffed a potato in his swimsuit and paraded up and down the beach. Several hours later, he still had no woman.   James went to see Bob again and said "I've tried the potato and it doesn't work!"   Bob looked at James and asked, "have you tried putting the potato in the front?"

 

[Null]

What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking in a house fire.

Ugh... that's definitely... bad.

 

[Null]

What do clouds like to do before breakfast.
Have a shower.

 

[Null]

When she told me I was average, she was just being mean.

 

[thatgui]

A Rough translation:

A man and his wife are sitting in the waiting room. The doctor calls him in, alone:

Man: There must have been a mistake, my wife got the medical exam.

Doctor: I'm terribly sorry we had mixup in the results.

Man: What does that mean ?

Doctor: Your wife has either Alzheimers or AIDS

Man: Thats horrible, what should I do now ?

Doctor: Take your wife, get into the car, and drive her out of the city. Leave her there, if she does not get home things aren't that grim, if she does, don't sleep with her anymore.

 

[Null]

I think I want a job cleaning mirrors, it's just something I could really see myself doing.

 

[Binky]

When you don't like someone, stop, and walk a mile in their shoes.

That way you've got a mile's head start on them and they don't have any shoes!

 

[Null]

Define: Claustrophobia.

Answer: Fear of Santa Claus.

 

[Binky]

Define: Subordinate Clause

Answer: One of Santa's little helpers.

 

[Null]

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Anyone can roast beef.

 

[Løra (Lolla)]

Patient: Doctor doctor, I've got something stuck in my throat.


Doctor : Are you choking?


Patient: No, I'm being serious!


What is the name of a musical pirate? Arrr Monica!

 

[Null]

What washes up on tiny beaches?

Microwaves.

 

[rygD]

What washes up on tiny beaches?

Microwaves.

I feel this can be expanded with more puns, but I can't think of any at the moment.  I blame sleep deprivation.

 

[Null]

What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?

You're too young to smoke.

 

[PokeParadox]

What do you call 2 robbers?

A pair of knickers!

What did the bird that lays square eggs say?

Ouch!

 

[Null]

Doctor my husband thinks he's a refrigerator.

I can work with him on that. But what's so bad about him being a refrigerator?

He sleeps with his mouth open and the light keeps me awake.

 

[comradekingu]

Why did the puddings losted the war?

Because they loaded their cannon with taco shells and only had three rounds of applause for defence

 

[Null]

I would tell a joke about pizza, but it's a little cheesy.