@PokeParadox: Haha 
(Bad)Joke Appreciation Corner
- Thread starter Løra (Lolla)
- Start date
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Did you hear about the hungry clock?
It went back four seconds.
It went back four seconds.
HamishTPB
Member
Two fish are in a tank, one says to the other "How the hell do we drive this thing?"
The Iranian team will be very dangerous in the soccer world cup this year. Since it coincides with ramadan, they will be very fast.
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Two construction workers constructing a wooden hut
One worker is surprised to see the other going through the nail box and throwing out half the nails
"Why are you doing that?"
"These nails have the heads on the wrong end"
"You idiot! - they're for the other side of the hut!"
One worker is surprised to see the other going through the nail box and throwing out half the nails
"Why are you doing that?"
"These nails have the heads on the wrong end"
"You idiot! - they're for the other side of the hut!"
comradekingu
Glowing ember
I guess they will be hungry for goals.
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I was standing in the park wondering why Frisbees got bigger as they get closer.
Then it hit me.
Then it hit me.
The abbot of a nearby abbey was out in the nearby city running errands downtown when he saw a woman of questionable character say to a passerby, "Twenty bucks for a blowjob," at which point the passerby and the woman promptly went down the next alley, where they went out of view.
The abbot was perplexed, for the very same thing occurred at another streetcorner in the city. He was walking down a sidewalk, when another woman, much the same as the first, stated to another passerby, "Twenty bucks for a blowjob," at which point the two rapidly went into a nearby alley, where the abbot couldn't see what was going on. Still not knowing what a "blowjob" was, the abbot left the city as naive as he was upon entering it.
Back up the hill, the abbot was still contemplating what a blowjob was, so he went to see the mother superior at the adjacent convent. "Mother superior," he asked, "what's a blowjob?"
"Twenty bucks, same as downtown!"
The abbot was perplexed, for the very same thing occurred at another streetcorner in the city. He was walking down a sidewalk, when another woman, much the same as the first, stated to another passerby, "Twenty bucks for a blowjob," at which point the two rapidly went into a nearby alley, where the abbot couldn't see what was going on. Still not knowing what a "blowjob" was, the abbot left the city as naive as he was upon entering it.
Back up the hill, the abbot was still contemplating what a blowjob was, so he went to see the mother superior at the adjacent convent. "Mother superior," he asked, "what's a blowjob?"
"Twenty bucks, same as downtown!"
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
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levi
Still fresh, damnit!
Strigoi, you are Stephen Wright AICMFP! (well, either him or Tommy Cooper, I'm unsure)
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h34r:A cat walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender notes how ridiculous this is, because cats cannot speak, nor are their thought processes complex enough to do even something as simple as ordering a drink at a bar. The bartender wakes up and realizes it was all a dream. Grateful to be returned to a world that makes sense, he rolls over and tells his wife, but she does not share his enthusiasm. Indeed, their 26-year marriage has begun to sour as of late. The bartender cries.
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I bought a pair of shoes off a drug dealer...I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.
What did the baker say when he was being chased by loan sharks? "Help! I knead dough!"
How do you get a blonde onto the roof? Say "the drinks are on the house".
What did the baker say when he was being chased by loan sharks? "Help! I knead dough!"
How do you get a blonde onto the roof? Say "the drinks are on the house".
HamishTPB
Member
Oh dear
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Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, "It's dark in here isn't it?" The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see."
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Have you heard about the new corduroy pillows?
They're making headlines!
They're making headlines!
comradekingu
Glowing ember
The matter of being or not being, you could say its metaboolean. :blink:
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A very old woman realizes that she's seen and done everything and the time has come to depart from this world. After considering various methods of doing away with herself, she decides to shoot herself through the heart.
Not wanting to make a mistake, she phones her doctor and asks him the exact location of the heart. He tells her that the heart is located two inches below the left nipple.
The old woman hangs up the phone, takes careful aim and shoots herself in the left knee.
Not wanting to make a mistake, she phones her doctor and asks him the exact location of the heart. He tells her that the heart is located two inches below the left nipple.
The old woman hangs up the phone, takes careful aim and shoots herself in the left knee.
iprice
Certified Guru
LOL. Took a second, but got there eventually!
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What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking in a house fire.
Stephen Hawking in a house fire.
