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What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A Gummy Bear.
A Gummy Bear.
(Bad)Joke Appreciation Corner
- Thread starter Løra (Lolla)
- Start date
After a wild party, three friends caught an infection, so they go to the doctor.
One had a green one, the other a yellow one and the last a red one.
So the doctor calls the first one in. And after a few moments, the guy starts begging:
"No, doctor. There must be another way, no! Aaargh!".
So he comes out with a long face and the other friends ask him what had happened.
"They had to amputate it, it was an aggressive fungus".
So the doctor calls the second one in. Same story. Screaming all around.
So he comes out with a long face and the other friends ask him what had happened.
"It was pus due to rot, they had to amputate it".
So the doctor calls the third one in. Five minutes in, no sound, no screaming.
One had a green one, the other a yellow one and the last a red one.
So the doctor calls the first one in. And after a few moments, the guy starts begging:
"No, doctor. There must be another way, no! Aaargh!".
So he comes out with a long face and the other friends ask him what had happened.
"They had to amputate it, it was an aggressive fungus".
So the doctor calls the second one in. Same story. Screaming all around.
So he comes out with a long face and the other friends ask him what had happened.
"It was pus due to rot, they had to amputate it".
So the doctor calls the third one in. Five minutes in, no sound, no screaming.
Suddenly the door slams open. And the third guy yells:
IT WAS LIPSTICK! IT WAS LIPSTICK!
IT WAS LIPSTICK! IT WAS LIPSTICK!
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Null
Snug
My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were £70!!!
Blow this, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.
Blow this, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.
That's an extremely big number - 70! is a little over a googol
70!! is roughly a googolplex (or so says Wolfram Mathematica)
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Null
Snug
^
Null
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Two cows are talking "Hey did you hear about that mad cow disease?" "Yeah, good thing I'm a helicopter"
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Null
Snug
How do you stop a crow from calling?
You take its phone away.
You take its phone away.
C
CocoCreekFisherman
Guest
The blonde girl was so stupid she tripped over a cordless phone.
How does a hair dresser make phone calls?..He cuts them short.
How does SATAN answer the telephone?
HELL OH ?
How does a hair dresser make phone calls?..He cuts them short.
How does SATAN answer the telephone?
HELL OH ?
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What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter what you call him because he isn't coming.
It doesn't matter what you call him because he isn't coming.
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- Dec 8, 2005
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- pokeparadox
How do you stop cold callers?
Keep the telephone near the fire.
Keep the telephone near the fire.
Null
Snug
What is the best thing to eat on Valentines day? A hearty meal
(Not long til Valentines day
)
(Not long til Valentines day
)
Null
Snug
What do you get when you cross the ocean with the Titanic?
Halfway.
Halfway.
What do you call a cowgirl mollusc? Clamity Jane! lololol
fusion_power
Advanced Member
Null
Snug
I went into Clinton cards today. I said to the woman behind the counter, "Do you sell bereavement cards?"
She said, "Yes, sir."
So I said, "Could I exchange one for this get well soon card I bought yesterday?"
She said, "Yes, sir."
So I said, "Could I exchange one for this get well soon card I bought yesterday?"
What dogs always sound like they have sore throats? Huskies
Null
Snug
Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.
The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant.
The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant.
What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? "You're too young to smoke"
What did one phone say to the other phone? "I'm engaged!"
What did one phone say to the other phone? "I'm engaged!"
