[Analysis] Retrospecter Pandora

[Nintiendo1Spain]

(Crappy jingle)

'Retrospecter...'​

Good night, Retrospect mass audience. In today's program we do a compilation of all estimates of time until the final release of the Pandora Project:

November - Dicember 2007: 'Pandora will be an extremely powerful handheld gaming system. It is scheduled to be released in Spring of 2008. '
http://pandora.bluwiki.com/

September 2008: 'They will be shipping before Christmas'
http://pandora.dcemu.co.uk/newsarchive/09-2008.html

April 2009: 'We're trying to make sure we can build up to the first 500 units in May (at most). The next 3500 should be finished in June. '
http://openpandora.org/blog.php?o=20

June 2009: 'I’m prepared to say July.'
http://openpandora.wordpress.com/2009/06/05/av-cables-and-july-release/

11 august 2009: 'Did somebody say "Let it begin"? '
http://www.open-pandora.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=category&layout=blog&id=2&Itemid=2&lang=en&limitstart=38

7 october 2009:
'Almost there. ALL parts (including the nubs) have arrived at the factory! For ALL 4000 Pandoras!'
http://www.open-pandora.org/index.php?view=article&catid=2%3Ablog&id=125%3Aalmost-there&format=pdf&option=com_content&Itemid=2&lang=en

27 october 2009:
'1. WiFi is working!
Yep, finally, after months of hard work by mostly DJWillis (with help from other devs), WiFi is working!
WEP, WPA, WPA2... including one of the best GUIs, the Network Manager are working fine!' EJEM EJEM

http://www.open-pandora.org/index.php?view=article&catid=2%3Ablog&id=130%3Aa-bunch-of-updates&format=pdf&option=com_content&Itemid=2&lang=en

24 november 2009
'Nearly there! '
http://www.open-pandora.org/index.php?view=article&catid=2%3Ablog&id=135%3Anearly-there&format=pdf&option=com_content&Itemid=2&lang=en

17 dicember 2009
'You can almost feel it. '
http://www.open-pandora.org/index.php?view=article&catid=2%3Ablog&id=145%3Ayou-can-almost-feel-it&format=pdf&option=com_content&Itemid=2&lang=en

27 january 2010
'their goal is to have the mass-produced cased finished and shipped until the chinese new year!'
http://www.open-pandora.org/index.php?view=article&catid=2%3Ablog&id=153%3Aour-own-personal-babelfish&format=pdf&option=com_content&Itemid=2&lang=en

24 february 2010
'Chinese New Year holidays are over - work has begun at the factory!'
http://www.open-pandora.org/index.php?view=article&catid=2%3Ablog&id=158%3Awhats-to-expect&format=pdf&option=com_content&Itemid=2&lang=en

29 march 2010
'I wish we had never put a bloody wifi chip in the Pandora, it has been nothing but trouble.'
http://twitter.com/Craigix/statuses/11259418345

As you can see, kids, every month, near the end of it, is some sort of announcement of the style 'this is almost done. " Coincidence?

Also it is curious that contradict at such issues as:

- 'We will not use low quality components, all will be made in UK and USA'. 'We have just ordered the covers to China! ".
- 'The wifi works perfectly. " 'The wifi does not work! "

Well that's all gambiteros, that you read them and we'll see.

(Jingle that goes fading)

Source: http://www.gp32spain.com/foros/showthread.php?t=72593

This is the best post I've ever seen.

 

[Night]

Now, that's a funny post indeed.

 

[gruso]

Oh hai Spain.

 

[lulzfish]

7 / 10

Needs more pictures of Craig and his hat, otherwise perfect.

 

[craigix]

Oh gads, those GP32Spain guys. I'm disappointed the photos are not of me, or of Ed.

But it is so funny how they have always wished the Pandora would fail LOL ROFL ZMG then we would have to just all develop for the Wiz!!!!!!11 Who needs a stupid attempt to advance to scene, ROFL LOL. Pandora sux!1

etc.

Well, time to get back to real work.

 

[mali]

I lol'd

 

[Unfathomable Depths]

Genius.

I feel your pain. In fact, I feel everyones pain. Everyone is pissed off.

Any news on the replacement Dvorak key-pads?

 

[Mithrildor]

Lol @ craig.

 

[scaramouche]

Craig:

Don´t worry about the failed dates.. look at the Jehovah´s witnesses . They announced not just a portable console, but the END OF THE WORLD about 500 times the last 100 years on different dates and failed... and they still have millions of followers. So i don´t think will be a problem for you to keep faith on just some thousands just for a decade or two.

My recommendation is: on cases like this is better to act as Nostradamus and instead of give an exactly date that everybody can identify, be symbolic. I.e.

"Pandora will be released the sign on the sky,
bright like the sun and the earth says good bye"

Then everybody will speculate about meaning and we be bussy about this. If you finally launch the Pandora, you can easily say that "the sign on the sky" is the last crappy satellite Iran launched , or a eclipse or whatever is near and the "earth saying good bye" may be an earthquake or just a maid cleaning your house EXACTLY this day.

So if you can launch it, you can say you announced it ...if not, nobody will notice you fail.Believe me ; this happened with Nostradamus all the time. Every thing that happen on earth you can find it announced by that guy if you mix and manipulate the proper words on his announces.

Just try,

"Wen 2 stars cross the river, and the Big Eagle fly high.... the Pandora will be delivered" (perhaps 2 rock singers take a cruiser and some airline laun a new airplane this day: PERFECT!)

You can turn more mystical and mention that in some way, James Cameron called PANDORA the new world on his movie AVATAR because he is your hidden investor and to symbolize PANDORA GAME CONSOLE is a full NEW WORLD ver far and hard to arrive but will bring us all to a full new experience. All that kind stuff helps more than specifical digits, numbers , data. You know i mean?

Craig: to be honest i am more interested to know wen you will have the PORTABLE SMS availlable again than the Pandora . But i can´t let it pass this opportunity to give you some tips

Regards

Scaramouche

p.s. don´t care about that gp32spain´s Spaniards guys. They don´t appreciate the good things never, and they don´t have faith at all.. imagine they banned me for support creationism, Israel foreign policies .. and the Pandora. As you see , not even ONE polemic topic but they banned me anyway. (well after i request it for about 1 month ) So i moved here to gp32x.de and i feel like in my own house!! blessings!

 

[carlgeorge]

What a great post. Someone really spent some time trawling through quotes to put that together. Very funny stuff.

 

[nem]

Awesome post is awesome

 

[fusion_power]

Nothing against Craigix, but I hoped, someone put all these quotes together.
When craigix writes his "Book of Pandora", then he might explain there his point of view. ^^
Anyway, I'm glad, that I am a pessimistic person, so I for myself never make optimistic announcements. It is much better to calculate with a worst case scenario and get a positive surprise at the end, instead of hoping for a "happy end" and get into the mess.

 

[Keen]

But everything that appears in the post is TRUE, isn´t it?

Then shut up and hurry up with the fucking Pandora

 

[benji_stein]

I feel like they forgot to mention this one:
http://pandorapress.net/2010/03/12/official-blog-a-dream-becomes-reality/

 

[kingoddball]

Hahahahahahaha!
Awesome!

 

[GizmoTheGreen]

in spain, pirating is very popular, hacking a video game console is only worth it if you can play backups, lol

so i think the thing is, they dont care if the pandora have hogher specs, they want a cheap console, and the gp32 or wiiz is cheaper.

but the cool developers would also spend time on the awesome pandora, hence, they shun it

 

[aitorpc]

in spain, pirating is very popular, hacking a video game console is only worth it if you can play backups, lol

so i think the thing is, they dont care if the pandora have hogher specs, they want a cheap console, and the gp32 or wiiz is cheaper.

but the cool developers would also spend time on the awesome pandora, hence, they shun it

Yeah, we love in Spain piracy and we don´t like the scene that´s the cause there is a lot of spanish homebrew, don´t you think you are wrong?

If you read again the first post you´ll see all the lies we have heart about the dates of Pandora, only a blind person can not see it. What spanish people (and everybody) want is not a cheap console (do you think we are all poor, stupid or anything similar? Don´t generalize!) it´s a good real console and no more lies, it´s very simple.

 

[ThaDSman]

Lol, at post and Craigix gettin pissed off... I believe it will really come out..eventually. Within the next two months or so.

Craig:

Don´t worry about the failed dates.. look at the Jehovah´s witnesses . They announced not just a portable console, but the END OF THE WORLD about 500 times the last 100 years on different dates and failed... and they still have millions of followers. So i don´t think will be a problem for you to keep faith on just some thousands just for a decade or two.

They have never announced the end of the world on a date... They all know that the day is to come as a thief, nobody knows when...that was a dirty joke dawg...

 

[Exophase]

Yeah, we love in Spain piracy and we don´t like the scene that´s the cause there is a lot of spanish homebrew, don´t you think you are wrong?

If you read again the first post you´ll see all the lies we have heart about the dates of Pandora, only a blind person can not see it. What spanish people (and everybody) want is not a cheap console (do you think we are all poor, stupid or anything similar? Don´t generalize!) it´s a good real console and no more lies, it´s very simple.

There was a lot of Pandora flaming long before the delays started. With all of the bitterness you'd think they'd be happy that it hasn't yet been released. How many of the people against it have actually preordered?

So my question to you is, why were so many there against it in the first place? Only answer I have is the bizarre GPH brand loyalty.

 

[Segata Sanshiro]

Why does the country of origin of the poster matter? The dates and quotes are real. I personally don't expect anybody to be able to develop a console from the ground up in just a few months, so it's no surprise it's taken (or it's taking) so long. However there's something totally under the control of those developing the console (unlike a Chinese factory screwing something up), and it's what they announce and what they don't. As the "quote compilation" shows, that's clearly what has been failing. Typically a few failed predictions would make someone more cautious when making announcements, but that just never happened.

in spain, pirating is very popular, hacking a video game console is only worth it if you can play backups, lol

so i think the thing is, they dont care if the pandora have hogher specs, they want a cheap console, and the gp32 or wiiz is cheaper.

but the cool developers would also spend time on the awesome pandora, hence, they shun it

Sure, we particularly enjoy grabbing torrents from Swedish site The Pirate Bay, probably the most popular torrent site out there.

So my question to you is, why were so many there against it in the first place? Only answer I have is the bizarre GPH brand loyalty.

I really doubt anyone who spent their money on the GP2X, especially one of the "First Edition" ones, worships GPH. I'd say the two-way trolling roots back to the GP32 times.