What a great start - prepare for the next level!

[Mr_Loon]

Yeah, there's a missing word and for professionalism sake it should be fixed, but I don't honestly believe it causes confusion.

What I thought would cause confusion is there being no explanation of why the 4GB might not be produced given that over 97% of orders have been for the 4GB version. The page has changed now though so all's good with that issue. There are still some grammar & spelling problems, I'll post any suggested corrections in this thread.

 

[Xcl4m4t10n]

Well, as I am sure that the 4GB units will work (there's no reason it shouldn't), I've removed that part completely from the text.
[doublepost=1462711395,1462711013][/doublepost]

Could you please recheck the translation?
I've changed a few things (regarding the amount of preorders) in the English text, could you update these in the translation as well?
Thanks!

Ok, I will do this later, but I think redid the translation with the newer version.
[doublepost=1462731709][/doublepost]Ok @EvilDragon the pdf version of the text on own cloud is the same I translated. If that version is ok then you can upload my spanish text, if not, indicate me which is the correct file to translate.

 

[Mr_Loon]

OK I've had a quick proof read of the official Pre Order page and have suggested a few minor changes and highlighted a few typo's & grammatical errors here. Hope that's of some use. 572 pre orders and counting!

 

[Djoga'Ro]

Regarding the 4GB models we're expand on the EU/Earth to US ratio. Was most of the time 3:1 in whole numbers. Now we're one US chip short or three EU chips above that.
This integer ratio I found interesting all the time - a curious thing.

EDIT: It's further destabilizing. EU chips now 4 preorders over the stable ratio.

 

[EvilDragon]

Ok, I will do this later, but I think redid the translation with the newer version.
[doublepost=1462731709][/doublepost]Ok @EvilDragon the pdf version of the text on own cloud is the same I translated. If that version is ok then you can upload my spanish text, if not, indicate me which is the correct file to translate.

Argh, I just realized I accidetally saved the EN version as .odt, so the PDF was of an older version.
Fixed now and I have also tried to fix the spanisch version,
[doublepost=1462759806,1462756777][/doublepost]Okay, finished the first press release which I want to send to newssites today!

Only in German yet (I'm heading to bed now).
http://cloud.openpandora.org/index....ilungen&files=2016-09-09-Gelungener_Start.pdf

Call to all Germans:
If someone could translate it to English, that would help me a lot!

Also let me know what you think of it. Anything missing? Does something sound weird or wrong?
Is there someone who knows how to properly write press releases? That would help a lot as well!

Thanks!

 

[ible]

here's my take, feel free to remix with other inputs from others:

A fantastic start for the DragonBox Pyra

The DragonBox Pyra is a pocketable, full-featured computer which has been available for preorder since May 1st. It is being crowdfunded through the DragonBox shop, with only a downpayment being necessary, and the remainder due when the unit is ready to be shipped.

By May 5th, we received the minimum order quantities for 500 units, so production is guaranteed. Once we reach 750 preorders, we will be able to produce 1000 Pyras.

The Pyra has been in development for over three years, and in February of this year, we created the first Pyra prototypes. These will be thoroughly tested to get things ready for mass production, which we plan to do later this year.

The Pyra is the successor of the OpenPandora, with big improvements. Not only have the processor and display been updated to modern specifications, but also the underlying concepts and approach. The Pyra is small and compact (only 13.9x8.7x3.2 cm), yet extremely modular. The processor, RAM, and internal memory are found on a replaceable daughterboard, just like the LCD controller on its own display board.

This modular design makes future upgrades possible for the end-user to do, which is good for the environment and saves money in the long run.

The Pyra packs in an incredible amount of features. Plenty of USB ports, game controls, a rumble motor, a backlit keyboard, a replaceable battery, SD card slots, WiFi and bluetooth all come standard. An upgrade to a 4G/LTE Pyra with GPS (as well as other various sensors) is also available.

Connecting an HDMI monitor, keyboard, and mouse is no problem; the Pyra can be used as a Desktop PC.

The Pyra is based around an ARM processor and comes equipped with the Debian GNU/Linux operating system. No accounts or registration is necessary to make this device fully functional, and no ads to be found accompanying the apps.

After the Pyra has been shipped, the hardware plans will be made available. The device is so conceived as to be simply repairable and easily modified. To get inside requires only a screwdriver, as nothing is glued in.

The Pyra, with its unmatched functionality, compactness, modularity, and freedom, is the long-expected device of a great community.

The Pyra has been designed and developed in Europe, where production and assembly will begin shortly.

More information can be found on the official website:
https://www.pyra-handheld.com

 

[Luke-Jr]

By May 5th, we received the minimum order quantities for 500 units, so production is guaranteed. Once we reach 750 preorders, we will be able to produce 1000 Pyras.

How does this work? Unless the modems can be ordered, 80% of the orders could be lost, putting us well below 500 units. And neither modem model has achieved its MOQ of 500 each...

Not only have the processor and display been updated to modern specifications, ...

IMO this isn't true. Pyra's CPU falls well short of modern standards.

An upgrade to a 4G/LTE Pyra with GPS (as well as other various sensors) is also available.

Upgraded version, maybe, since you can't simply add these to a standard Pyra later.

 

[Swordfish II]

Modern has a pretty broad meaning. 2007 is pretty modern.

 

[comradekingu]

I have worked in publishing if that helps. Changed a few things around and got to the point quicker.

You need an ingress to introduce a topic, then an angle.

What is it, why is it different.

EN PressKit info

Spoiler

Note: The content herein can be completely or partially quoted and/or rewritten
at will.



Press kit with numerous photos and other information available here:
http://cloud.openpandora.org/index.php/s/a0Q0TXV8gh5NLAC



The DragonBox Pyra - a hackable secure pocket handheld cellular game laptop, made in fairness, for and by the community.



No spying hardware, here are the full schematics to prove it.

No spying software, see every bit of code you need to have a secure device.

No tracking, no account needed, really.

Against slave labour, circuit boards engineered and produced in Germany. Case made in Greece.



Community, you are the we that is us.



Pre-orders have been coming in since they were made available the 1st of May.

Similar to crowdfunding in nature, but the risk is vastly reduced as the money goes towards only production of what is a readily engineered device.



The minimum order quantity of 500 devices has been met already.

Next milestone is at 750, which makes it cheaper for everyone and means 1000 can be produced.
To get to this point has taken three years of development.

In February a functional prototype was made, ever since undergoing thorough testing to make everything ready for mass production and subsequent hands-on within the year.

As a successor to the Open Pandora, the Pyra carries numerous large and small improvements.
Not only faster, but also now a real laptop, and if you want, the mobile edition is as much of a phone as you can adjust your mind to.


Dimensions of 13.9 x 8.7 x 3.2 cm, means it fits in your pocket.

Designed to be modular it is user upgradable, both mainboard, displayboard and the one that has the processor and RAM are individual boards.

Designed to be easily repaired or modified - one screwdriver is all you need to take it apart.
Better for everyone and the environment.


Multiple real USB ports, Game-controls, backlit keyboard, replaceable battery, SD-card slots, Wi-Fi and Bluetooth, optional LTE mobile internet and telephony services with GPS and various sensors.


Use it as a desktop PC by connecting a HDMI-cable to a monitor.


Debian Gnu/Linux is a full operating system that is easy to use. Even your oldest relative can use it.

The Pyra has a large fan base and a community around it that goes far back.
A similar device is not currently available on the market.


More information can be found on the official website:
https://www.pyra-handheld.com

 

[Djoga'Ro]

Just some corrections and some suggestions for rephrasings.

Diese funktioniert ähnlich wie Crowdfunding, allerdings ist nur eine Anzahlung
fällig, der Rest wird erst benötigt, ...

-> ... eine Anzahlung nötig, der Rest wird erst fällig, ... (Somehow I find that more fitting)

Regarding your MOQs - I've got a feeling it makes a difference, if there are 500 or 750 preorders, in regards to making some or all the offered modells? If I'm not wrong, maybe reflect this.

Nach über drei Jahren Entwicklungszeit hat das Gerät das Prototypenstadium
erreicht, funktionierende Geräte existieren seit Februar.

Diese werden auf Herz und Nieren getestet und sind danach bereit für die
Massenproduktion. Diese ist noch in diesem Jahr geplant.

-> Vor über drei Jahren wurde die Entwicklung begonnen und seit Februar existieren funktionierende Prototypen. Diese werden auf Herz und Nieren geprüft und sind danach bereit für die Massenproduktion, welche noch in diesem Jahr anlaufen soll.
(Removing repetition in structure and in beginnings with "Diese".)

Nicht nur der Prozessor und das Display wurden auf einen moderneren Stand
gebracht sondern ...

-> ... gebracht, sondern ...

Obwohl das Gerät mit 13,9 x 8,7 x 3,2cm ...

-> Obwohl das Gerät mit 13,9 x 8,7 x 3,2 cm³ ... (if I'm not mistaken (EDIT: referring to the space); though some prefer it being "cm")
-> Obwohl das Gerät mit 13,9 cm x 8,7 cm x 3,2 cm ... (correct to math heads, not confusing to meth heads)

Der Prozessor mitsamt Speicher befindet sich auf einer gesockelten Extraplatine,
ebenso der Displaycontroller inklusive der LCD.

-> ... inklusive LCD.

An Funktionen wurde nicht gespart: Mehrere USB-Ports, Spielsteuerungen,
beleuchtete Tastatur, Wechselbarer Akku, SD-Kartenslots, Wifi und Bluetooth sind
vorhanden, optional gibt es LTE und GPS sowie verschiedene Sensoren dazu.

-> ..., wechselbarer Akku, ... vorhanden. Alternativ gibt es die Pyra als Variante mit zusätzlich LTE, GPS und weiteren Sensoren.

Das aktuelle Modell der Pyra basiert auf einem ARM Prozessor ...

-> ... ARM-Prozessor ...

Um das Gerät vollständig nutzen zu können ist keine Registrierung oder ein
Account notwendig.

-> Um das Gerät vollständig nutzen zu können sind weder eine Registrierung noch ein Account notwendig.

Die Schaltpläne werden nach Fertigstellung offengelegt und das Gerät ist so
konzipiert, dass es einfach repariert oder modifiziert werden kann – es gibt keine
Verklebungen, zum Öffnen wird nur ein Schraubenzieher benötigt.

-> ... Verklebungen. Zum Öffnen ...

LAST EDITED: 2016-05-09 | 19:46

 

[tigerroast]

How does this work? Unless the modems can be ordered, 80% of the orders could be lost, putting us well below 500 units. And neither modem model has achieved its MOQ of 500 each...

Or maybe ED has/will have the funds to afford the MOQ for both modem versions and orders them anyway. In doing so, if there number of pre-orders for 4G EU/US Pyras doesn't match the MOQ for their respective modems, then ED will still have 4G modems already in stock for the 2nd batch rather than having to wait 5 billion years for more modems in order to start production.

Will the Pyra actually sell 500 of both 4G units in order to more than make up for the cost of the modems? I have no gorram idea, but you can't get rewarded without taking on risk. Capitalism!

IMO [the processor and display being modern] isn't true.

Yeah, like why does the Pyra have a CRT display? Why isn't the display one of them newfangled TFT LCD screens that you can touch as input?

And that processor, I mean, it's just the worst. Only capable of running programs of up to 2 Mega Power. 2 Mega Power? *snicker* My desktop already runs multiple programs with 20 Mega Power flawlessly. Albeit, my desktop uses more power to run 2 Mega Power programs, but my point stands. What gives, Dragonbox?

Pyra's CPU falls well short of modern standards.

So, what's your definition of modern, then? Narrow the scope more than a little bit because, as far as I can tell, the OMAP5 is every bit as modern as whatever candy bars phone manufacturers spit out.

Specs are to the tech world as the Cable Crossover station is to most commercial gyms; people think they get the concept and end up looking like idiots when trying to apply their false ideas. Anyone who's been to a commercial gym before the "washout period" will understand.

 

[Silent-Hunter]

How does this work? Unless the modems can be ordered, 80% of the orders could be lost, putting us well below 500 units. And neither modem model has achieved its MOQ of 500 each...

He could always use these guys: https://pyra-handheld.com/boards/threads/reseller-for-4g-modem.77381/

 

[mati]

@Djoga'Ro I like most of your suggestions, excepte these:

-> ..., der Rest wird erst fällig, ...

that would be a repetition

-> Vor über drei Jahren haben wir die Entwicklung begonnen

a press release should be in 3rd person

-> Obwohl das Gerät mit 13,9 x 8,7 x 3,2 cm³ ... (if I'm not mistaken)

looks weird

 

[Djoga'Ro]

@Djoga'Ro I like most of your suggestions, excepte these:


that would be a repetition


a press release should be in 3rd person


looks weird

1+2 done
3 What's weird about it?

 

[Akko]

1+2 done
3 What's weird about it?

It is (in my experience) unusual to use a unit of volume when giving dimensions of a device. Usually it's just <a> x <b> x <c> cm (or mm or m or whatever). It's not technically correct, but that's just how it's done usually. So I'd leave it at "cm" too.

 

[Xcl4m4t10n]

Hey @EvilDragon, thanks for upload the spanish quick infos. I also made the tech info pdf translation on my first answer but maybe you missed it:

https://pyra-handheld.com/boards/th...repare-for-the-next-level.77376/#post-1377059

 

[Djoga'Ro]

Real World is weird, I prefer Math World.

Oh, forgot to post, what I wrote. Updated my note next to it. Ok?

 

[Foxgod]

Hi ED,

Will you order the parts as soon as you have reached 750 pre orders, or is there more things that have to be done?

 

[Akko]

Real World is weird, I prefer Math World.

Oh, forgot to post, what I wrote. Updated my note next to it. Ok?

So do I, but most people don't

 

[rygD]

How does this work? Unless the modems can be ordered, 80% of the orders could be lost, putting us well below 500 units. And neither modem model has achieved its MOQ of 500 each...

IMO this isn't true. Pyra's CPU falls well short of modern standards.

Upgraded version, maybe, since you can't simply add these to a standard Pyra later.

The top seller is the EU version, which is "close enough" to MOQ that there is little concern that those units will be sitting around for long. The US one is the low seller.

You CAN upgrade, or add 4G later. Just as with other upgrades, you swap a board, in this case, the main board.