My beliefs vary frequently. As I stated, they aren't firmly held. I often play with other world views and opinions. Generally they fall into a particular area of the spectrum, for lack of a better term I guess, but I try to understand things as others do up to a point.
'reality is what you can get away with' and some other comments
Most of these lead back to what I just said. They are also an attempt to avoid letting things get too serious, and draining the fun out of life.
do you admire and respect the illuminati for being at the 'top' of the human food chain?
There are many opinions on what the Illuminati are. I feel that they are a symbol, not an actual group of people, although many will claim they are a part of the Illuminati, and others will claim they are real and want to control and crush the freedom of people like themselves. I equate the Illuminati to the idea of Satan as it is currently understood in the western world.
I do respect anyone who claws their way to the "top of the human food chain" even if they took advantage of others to get there. I don't necessarily like, or admire, these people. Examples include Sam Walton, Steve Jobs, and Bill Gates, amongst others. I respect what these men did, however I also hate what they have done, and some of what has come from the corporations they created. If we look back through history there are many other examples I could use. They all brought good and bad, and they have been successful in business (or whatever their thing was/is) as a result.
I admire fictional representations of these things more than I do the real things. These include the typical evil corporations found in fiction. Since they are fictional it is easier to admire them since they don't actually destroy the world or how human society functions, even if I hate the idea they represent. Specific to the Illuminati, my favorite Illuminatus would be David Xanatos. He is someone I admire, and if you watch the Gargoyles series you might understand why. Even when things didn't go as he planned they actually went exactly as he planned. He may seem like a "bad guy", but he really wasn't. I often favor the antagonist in fiction, so that plays a part in all of this.
Also, what value is having 'a conscience' to you?
I see it as both, and it really depends on the circumstances. When it comes to people I care strongly for I may seem to be an extremely heartless person if there is a threat to their safety, comfort or peace of mind. I give up my own safety and lifestyle for them. The often overlooked part of this is making sure that they don't do things they will regret later even if they become upset with me over a situation. I don't really know how to answer to your question in this regard. In the context of the rest of your post,my answer would be that I see no problem making use of available resource, but I do have a problem with people taking advantage of others or being overly destructive. This is especially a concern of mine when considering nonhuman lives, and unfortunately I have to make compromises, even if it greatly saddens me.
Do you see it as a limitation, a weakness?
Yes. There are many things that are limitations that are required to make things better for all. While I will often make jokes about using nukes and such, if these types of things were done frequently most life on the planet would not be here anymore, and there are more repercussions than benefits to such actions. Then again, if you are not willing to truly do anything to meet your goals, and others are, your limitations are a weakness compared to those others. It can be better to appear weaker than you are, however, so that you then turn your weakness into an advantage by drawing in competitors that don't expect whatever you are actually willing to do. I could go on for a while with this one, but the point is that a limitation or weakness is not always negative, and sometimes people help each other for a variety of reasons.
Edit:
That is a good thing to be.
