Miku Manor


Bit more messing about.

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Klumpen said:
I think I could be a cool dad.


I could teach my siblings to play several unusual instruments, diverse philosophy and ancient european martial arts (mostly with swords);


play videogames with them of course, doing silly stuff, improvisation cooking together, etc... whatever they think is fun of all those things.


And of course I would show them what it's like to grow up with love instead of violence, terror and abandonment like I did.
I also think I would be great, but what concerns me is... what if the child doesn't appreciate what I want to give them? What if, for some reason, they are just otherwise and rebellious?


I would like to assume that that kind of behavior only arises from mistreatment, but then you've also got peer pressure, the myriad corrupting influences present in the world.


My partner would have to be 100% on the same page as me when it comes to parenting... but what if she's not?


What if she changes inexplicably after the kid is born or sometime in it's early childhood.


You can have the best intentions in the world, but if the universe decides to throw you a few curve balls, you won't see them coming.


This is why I'm in no hurry to leap into and commit to something that's going to change my life, for the rest of my life, irrevocably one way or the other.


If a person has views I disagree with or behaves in a way that I disapprove of, I can easily just walk away and cut them out of my life.


You can't do that if it's your own kid.


I can imagine a day in the far future and due to my own experiences and observations have concluded that having an AI implanted in your brain that is permanently linked to the central information network, that also monitors your thoughts and emotions, and has the ability to alter your brain chemistry is an extremely unwise thing to do and should absolutely be avoided regardless of the seeming benefits it would impart.


I can imagine my kid raging at me because I've set a policy of 'no implants'.


He/she would think I was a cruel, selfish and backwards father for preventing them from having the same things their friends do.


I could see how it would go to... If I relented I would essentially lose my kid because they would now be an integral part of the system I oppose at my core.


The rift between us would continue to grow as our value systems diverged, and our ability to relate to each other dissolved.


If I didn't relent, I could lose them as well... within a short time my kid could be ostracised and unfairly picked on... and within reason, my kid could blame it all on me.


I've already decided that if I have a kid I certainly won't be sending them to any school (except perhaps one I had a hand in creating), but that brings in a whole host of other problems... being personaly responsible for educating them would be a huge commitment and would eat into my available time to make a living... especially as I essentially make my living on the road.


What about friends? I remember my own childhood and the massive stuff up that my teens and young adulthood became due to 'friends'. And I observe young people today and have concluded that nothings changed... society is still dangerously dysfunctional.


Society has provided solutions for all the 'needs' one has when raising a kid... but frankly I'm not happy with any of them.


Choosing to live outside society and by your own rules is fine when you're on your own... How is that going to work out with a family or a kid involved?


=~. O =
 
Sorry, I was meant to quote rude or whatever his/her name is. I'll edit it to be more appropriate.
me?

I say it like "rye god" minus the o, all squished into one syllable.  It rhymes with "ride" for me.  Other people say it all sorts of different ways.

Anyway, I suspect our mother might be upset since she doesn't get any blood grandchildren.  Not really my concern, since she had the chance to be a grandmother in another sense and decided she didn't want that.

Yeah, see, being a collector is expensive.  Better get em while they're cheap.  That is where I screwed up with some things that I have decided not to collect anymore.

I also think I would be great, but what concerns me is... what if the child doesn't appreciate what I want to give them? What if, for some reason, they are just otherwise and rebellious?
It happens.  Sometimes in the worst ways possible, such as by doing/liking/being/thinking exactly the same as most people they encounter at school.  Upbringing seems to have little influence on taste, preference and opinion, and even being raised around and exposed to many different types of people can result in someone that is rather close minded.  Everyone has to find their own way, and that is what you have to accept if you are creating a life, or helping make one better.  The person I am spending my life with and I thought we were preventing some of these issues by having all these things known and open, yet the result is a child who still makes derogatory comments about people with certain beliefs, opinions, sexual orientation and such.  That last bit is rather amusing with so many "aunts and uncles" from an early age that don't fit traditional ideas and stereotypes.

Even if they are the exact opposite with everything you want of them, will you love them any less?  And, really, it is their life, so let them live it how they want.  Both of my parents wanted me to be how they wanted me to be.  I never tried to be rebellious, I just did my thing.  I would rather have a happy "rebellious" kid than a miserable one who feels like they aren't allowed to do or say anything.

Society has provided solutions for all the 'needs' one has when raising a kid... but frankly I'm not happy with any of them. Choosing to live outside society and by your own rules is fine when you're on your own... How is that going to work out with a family or a kid involved?
Many people do this to varying degrees, but you still need to let them make their own decisions at a certain point.  If you want to avoid the things you dislike you are best completely leaving the greater society, or finding a community of like minded people.  My suggestion is not to fully cut the child off from the outside world, or you may end up with a very poorly adjusted adult, or one who resents you.
 
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@Fae: That's why I'd never raise it in a big city like the one I'm still in. I'd search for a place where evil influence is minimal and then try to not trigger rebellious behaviour against me what is an art in itself and never guaranteed.

Being a good example is often better than any restriction but you need those too and it's a delicate balance as far as I've observed.

You definitely have to be cool in their eyes all the time to not trigger this.

The darwinism and brainwashing in schools is a big problem in most countries, I totally aggree.

There has to be some place where it's not too bad though and where a little rebellion against the world rather than against me wouldn't be a big deal so that the kid wouldn't have a problem with it.

You always have to keep an eye on school bullying etc. and keep contact to the teachers (which the one below did).

When I see the daughter of my boss and their relationship, I see that it can work out extremely well.

They are practically best friends and if anything happens she is always coming to him and she is 19 by now.

She didn't have any problem with having us (my boss and me) staying over night in her room beause we were on our way to work at a festival in the area and wanted to arrive early and it was all pretty cool

and you could clearly see, that although her parents didn't live together for a very long time at this point, her father was her hero and nearly all her interests came from him (bycicles, free camping, travelling, she even studies in this direction because of this traveling stuff now)

my only problem there was some of the stuff that she had from her father too like soccer-championship-talk and eating lots of raw meat and cheese so I felt very out of place at breakfast, but other than that it was cool to see this relationship.
 
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Yeah, see, being a collector is expensive. Better get em while they're cheap. That is where I screwed up with some things that I have decided not to collect anymore.
Don't worry if you find an £85 charge on your card statement, it's just the bank testing out a new system.
 
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my only problem there was some of the stuff that she had from her father too like soccer-championship-talk and eating lots of raw meat and cheese so I felt very out of place at breakfast, but other than that it was cool to see this relationship.
Raw salmon is delicious.

Yeah, see, being a collector is expensive. Better get em while they're cheap. That is where I screwed up with some things that I have decided not to collect anymore.
Don't worry if you find an £85 charge on your card statement, it's just the bank testing out a new system.
My bank wouldn't allow such a charge.  This is both good and bad.
 
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my only problem there was some of the stuff that she had from her father too like soccer-championship-talk and eating lots of raw meat and cheese so I felt very out of place at breakfast, but other than that it was cool to see this relationship.
Raw salmon is delicious.
Before I went vegan I only ate my fish raw, but Mett was always disgusting in my book.
 
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my only problem there was some of the stuff that she had from her father too like soccer-championship-talk and eating lots of raw meat and cheese so I felt very out of place at breakfast, but other than that it was cool to see this relationship.
Raw salmon is delicious.
Before I went vegan I only ate my fish raw, but Mett was always disgusting in my book.
I generally don't like pork, so I can see that being the case for me too.  Is that what they were eating?
 
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My bank wouldn't allow such a charge. This is both good and bad.
You may also notice that your statement has a different banks name at the top of it, again it's nothing to worry about, your bank just ran out of headed paper and had to borrow some.
 
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I added this to my last post but Klumpen replied to quick for me.

I am also not usually involved in the sports talk.

My bank wouldn't allow such a charge. This is both good and bad.
You may also notice that your statement has a different banks name at the top of it, again it's nothing to worry about your bank just ran out of headed paper and had to borrow some.
Good luck with that.
 
News update: Miku had a visitor today + she's brought another animal home :rolleyes: , pics coming on Fri because the heat is making me lazy + I'm busy tomorrow. :)
 
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