(Bad)Joke Appreciation Corner

[Løra (Lolla)]

Do you find that your jokes are JUST NOT APPRECIATED by those around you?


Are other people's good jokes, JUST GETTING YOU DOWN?


Maybe you find yourself LAUGHING AT YOUR OWN JOKES?


Well not anymore! If you have any jokes, wordplays and suchlike, POST HERE FREE today!


Your jokes will be appreciated and you're guaranteed a laugh! (somewhere, someday)


*Lollatakesnoresponsibilityforthosewettingthemselvesand/ordyingwithlaughter*

 

[Fzero]

story type one, sort of joke, made me laugh anyway

http://www.divinecaroline.com/entertainment/do-you-fart-bed

Spoiler

Why did the Baker have smelly hands?

He [k]needed a poo!

 

[Løra (Lolla)]

@FZERO: Lmao! That's truly terrible. Also kinda fitting for Halloween time. Well done .

 

[Løra (Lolla)]

As it's Halloween time: What is a Zombie's favourite chat up line? "Hi there gore-juice"..

 

[comradekingu]

 

[Løra (Lolla)]

Hehe

 

[Løra (Lolla)]

What's the name of the cleverest zombie? Frank-Einstein

 

[Binky]

An extract from an IRC conversation with a friend:

<Binky> Is "disgruntle" a word?
<friend> I assume so
<friend> If someone can be disgruntled, it must be possible to disgruntle them
<friend> Used by the Simpsons, which is as good a reason as any to disbelieve it
* friend got bored and is making a digital voxel airship out of hundreds of murdered sheep
<Binky> Ewe must be crazy
<Binky> What a ramdom thing to do
<Binky> Still, no use bleating about the bush
<friend> I should really build a wool-breeding mechanism that shears sheep rather than setting them on fire
<friend> The latter is far easier to automate though
<Binky> Sounds like wooley thinking to me...
<friend> Also, your terribaaal puns are making me feel sheepish
<Binky> Come, now, I'm only grazeing the surface of my full potential
<friend> AUGH!
<Binky> I'm trying to rectify the lambentable lack of sheep jokes in normal English prose.
<friend> I think you're fielding too many now.
<Binky> This is really just the tup of the iceberg...
<Binky> ...but I do get the feeling you can't wether much more of this, though
<Binky> You've probably herd enough, and wish my monologue were being shawn to a conclusion.
<Binky> Well I won't try to fleece you,
<Binky> This flock of puns is finally ovine
 

 

[Løra (Lolla)]

@Binky: Lmao, very good. I love wordplay

 

[mcobit]

Why can't you starve in the desert?


-> because of all the sand-wich-e(i)s there...

 

[Fzero]

An extract from an IRC conversation with a friend:

<Binky> Is "disgruntle" a word?


<friend> I assume so


<friend> If someone can be disgruntled, it must be possible to disgruntle them


<friend> Used by the Simpsons, which is as good a reason as any to disbelieve it


* friend got bored and is making a digital voxel airship out of hundreds of murdered sheep


<Binky> Ewe must be crazy


<Binky> What a ramdom thing to do


<Binky> Still, no use bleating about the bush


<friend> I should really build a wool-breeding mechanism that shears sheep rather than setting them on fire


<friend> The latter is far easier to automate though


<Binky> Sounds like wooley thinking to me...


<friend> Also, your terribaaal puns are making me feel sheepish


<Binky> Come, now, I'm only grazeing the surface of my full potential


<friend> AUGH!


<Binky> I'm trying to rectify the lambentable lack of sheep jokes in normal English prose.


<friend> I think you're fielding too many now.


<Binky> This is really just the tup of the iceberg...


<Binky> ...but I do get the feeling you can't wether much more of this, though


<Binky> You've probably herd enough, and wish my monologue were being shawn to a conclusion.


<Binky> Well I won't try to fleece you,


<Binky> This flock of puns is finally ovine

Brilliant!

I don't think you could have ram another pun in there if you tried

 

[comradekingu]

its a pan-doramic, someone must see the full scope of this and put an end to it

 

[Wrath Of Khan]

How do you get pickachu onto a bus? Poke- em on!

 

[Fzero]

Why should you never shower with a Pokemon?

Because they Pikachhu

 

[Løra (Lolla)]

Hahahaha all very good jokes!

Oh darn, I've apparently reached my "like limit". Pffffft.

 

[omega-weapon]

Why does everybody at parties call me a mushroom? Because I'm a fun-ghi.


Terrible indeed. Hahah.

 

[MrConfusion]

Hey!

I have a bad suggestion for some Halloween laughs!!!

And there's wordplay and... and twisted thinking and... everything too!
I really try to amuse, please laugh on cue!
OK, well... this was supposed to be a thread for bad jokes, so here we go... But first moderators considering warning points while reading should read the small print that follows:

Please DO note that this post has absolutely nothing to do with any current events in any of the boards around the net. This is just a suggestion for a healthy little game, nothing more, nothing less. Any associations you might make in your head (whether related to the state of my mind or individuals involved) are just that: purely in your head and just imagination. Now, back to the business at hand...

As a background and setting for this game I feel a little explanation is in order:

Having been a complete and total arsehole several times in my life I have always held the firm belief that "Every arsehole deserves a second shot.".

Recently I have been forced to (once again) re-evaluate this deeply philosophical and genuinely empathic stance.
Maybe some holes do deserve to be plugged.

And this is where the fun starts!

I realize this board is populated by people who have far more capability in 3D graphics design department than I do (my capabilities are a large negative number...).

I hereby suggest a playful, humoristic game of 3D modeling: create a plug printable with a 3D printer suitable for plugging the hole of the said printer's owner. You don't need to print this yourself to test the model, I'm sure something or someone appropriate will pop up eventually.

Myself, I suck at 3D modeling and don't know anything about 3D printers, but I'm waiting for your artistic visions with great interest and anticipation (and maybe a bit of dread...).


I do actually have "a vision", I got it on my bed while playing... actually nevermindthat...

It isn't totally impossible that the design for my model, which I call "STUFFit EXPANDer" will be ready in Two Months . However, I'm planning to add a light pipe, so the model could also be delayed indefinitely... sorry about that chaps!

Unlike some people I have come across in my life I will not promise any prizes for the best entry.

That's because I have this advanced bookkeeping device called "a calculator" and it says I have no money.

It would be pretty wicked to promise a prize you could not deliver...

But I'm sure kinky shops around the world will be watching this space veeery carefully!

 

[Løra (Lolla)]

@omega-weapon: Lolololol niiice

 

[Løra (Lolla)]

@MrConfusion: I'm lost. .

 

[gp32rich]

RealRadioXS (a local rock station .. available online .. home of Legend Mike Sweeney) has some brill ads & idents.

a couple that come immediately to mind:

I made lasagna from scratch last night. (I never did like that cat)

I never did get Greek history. You might say it's my achilles wrist.

Come down and meet our dj Steve and you'll see why it's a good idea to always wear your crash helmet. (What? What do you mean he's not been in an accident. So how did his face get like that?)

Rider:Why did you stop me officer?

Copper:Coz you're not wearing any trousers.

R:Well I could only afford the jacket.

C:You should've gone to race leathers - best bargains around

<jingle>

C:You can let go of my truncheon now

R:Erm. That's not your truncheon!

<Vincent Price type creepy voice>

Hello. It has come to my attention that some scoundrels are not visiting Race Leathers for the huge range of biking gear at the lowest prices, but are using it as some sort of a pick-up joint. This is disgusting and will not be tolerated.

So if you visit Race Leathers and leave empty handed, then you sir are quite clearly a Pervert.

Sing the song! <jingle>