(Bad)Joke Appreciation Corner


What did one dog say to the other in an argument? You're barking up the wrong tree.


Why are dogs good at cleaning up rubbish? They're litter trained.


Why is Simba not a good friend to have? He's always lion (lying :p )


What bird is always out of breath? A puffin


What animal makes a good writer? A PENguin
 
@comradekingu: You're quite right. Today I was racking my brain for animal jokes.


How do rabbits measure their gold? In carrots
 
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Why couldn't the pony speak? Its throat was a little horse (hoarse) :D


What's a cannibal's favourite meal? Shepherds Pie


Two children were having a conversation:


Child 1: My aunt's going away on holiday.


Child 2: Oh, where's she going?


Child 1: Alaska.


Child 2: It's ok. Alaska myself
 
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What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?

If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

She was only a whiskey-maker, but he loved her still.

Did you hear about the fire at the circus?

It was in tents.
 
What do birds have for breakfast? Shredded Tweet


When is a door not a door? When it's ajar


What do you get if you cross a dog with a rose? A collie-flower


What did one phone say to the other phone? I'm engaged


Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains! - pull yourself together


Doctor doctor, I feel like a bin! - don't talk rubbish
 
Doctor! Doctor! I can't sleep. - Well try going to bed on top of your wardrobe tonight; you'll soon drop off.
 
Lololol.


Doctor doctor, I feel like a sheep! - stop bleating on about it.


Doctor doctor, I feel the need to gamble! - I bet.


What's a ghoul's favourite dessert? I scream
 
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