(Bad)Joke Appreciation Corner


Old colanders never die, they just can't take the strain anymore.
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did you hear about the stand-up comedian who did a gig for a deaf audience? neither did they.

it also seems most of his jokes fell on deaf ears.

he made a joke about the book of Revelations. it was a sign of the times.
 
I have a good one, but it came originaly from Otto Walkes (famous German Comedian)

"How do you make a Cat to bark ?? ,
Just put fire to it -- Wooof"
And how do you make a Dog to miew??
Whit a circular saw-- miew!! "
My English is Awefull, no wonder I m a German..
 
I have a good one, but it came originaly from Otto Walkes (famous German Comedian)

"How do you make a Cat to bark ?? ,
Just put fire to it -- Wooof"
And how do you make a Dog to miew??
Whit a circular saw-- miew!! "
My English is Awefull, no wonder I m a German..
You forgot, that the dog has to went in te freezer before.
Forgot that once too. It gets really dirty and is missing the meow.
 
I was going to buy a book on phobias, but I was afraid it wouldn’t help me.

Why not just buy a self-help book about masturbation? Sure, it's a hands-on approach and I hear that it's the gift that keeps on giving...
 
Maybe we're all babies. No? Then it's just me then. I miss my umbilical cord, I grew attached to it.

We come into the world bald, screaming and in diapers and that's the way that we go out...at least that's the way that I'm going. I'm no Jim Morrison.
 
Klumpen? You're going to try to find examples to refute what happens to us in death? Maybe you're looking to argue points that aren't necessary. I was born with wisps of hair and I will go out with some....I hope that you live forever, being able to contradict all of life's truths. You make me laugh.
[doublepost=1485330887,1485329892][/doublepost]Ghosts love elevators because they lift their spirits. Rumor has it. Either that or they just creepily move through walls. Eewwwee.
 
I will try to die naked (no diaper, even if I have to rip it off and throw it at someone) and screaming. I haven't decided about the head hair yet. As long as observers are as traumatized as those that get suddenly forced out of their nice and comfortable homes to live in a cold, bright, scary place with a bunch of strangers, I will feel it is a success.

Do elevators work for ghosts? I still don't understand how they are supposed to not fall through floors. Or the ground. All that Hell and underworld stuff makes more sense with goats ghosts. (Autocorrect is kicking my ass today.) I need to look into the science of Ghostbusters*.


*It is better than the pseudoscience used by "paranormal investigators", although they do have some interesting electronic things that seem to randomly play recordings of words or phrases. Those might be fun to use for music. I wish I had been able to make my Speak and Spell speak randomly instead of just making creepy sounds and have many strange incidents associated with it (maybe those are the result of the spells, and I just don't understand the chanting).

Edit: So I don't get accused of having a discussion and not making jokes, each paragraph contains at least one of my attempts to make bad jokes.
 
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