(Bad)Joke Appreciation Corner

[Null]

 

[Null]

I hate Russian dolls, they’re so full of themselves.

Don’t you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.

I had a neck brace fitted years ago and I’ve never looked back since.

I like to hold hands at the movies… which always seems to startle strangers.

Today I found my first grey pubic hair. I got really excited, but not as much as the other people in the lift.

 

[Null]

I’ve been really depressed lately. A friend told me I should go to the petting zoo perhaps, to cheer up.
I went today, but not one person would stroke me.

One of the most wonderful things in life is to wake up and enjoy a cuddle with somebody; unless you are in prison.

Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?
Because he was always spotted.

 

[Null]

Never date a tennis player. Love means nothing to them.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

I wish I got to see my mate Bill more often. He works for a delivery company, so only calls round when I’m out.

 

[Null]

"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled, "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted to. I was keeping the umbrella.

 

[rygD]

Pretty good, still belongs here.

Don’t you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.

This one feels clunky to me. Perhaps it can be improved:

You know what I hate? People that answer their own questions.

 

[levi]

IMO that's not an improvement. Keep the self-contradictory part short and sweet, and it concentrates the punchline.

 

[ible]

you could also say:
"don't you hate it when people answer their own questions? ... I do" (and it may sound less clunky due to grammar (their = plural, someone was singular) or just the way people say things...)

don't you hate it when people suggest dumb edits to bad jokes?

 

[Null]

grammar

Ah my old enemy. Mind you, I don't think I do too badly for someone who's forgotten what a noun, pronoun and adjective is.

Isn’t it odd the way everyone automatically assumes that the goo in soap dispensers is always soap? I like to fill mine with mustard, just to teach people a lesson in trust.

 

[rygD]

don't you hate it when people suggest dumb edits to bad jokes?

Nope. Responses like this are more amusing than the short chuckle the joke might get out of me. Even more fun are arguments over jokes.
[doublepost=1484147382,1484147290][/doublepost]

Isn’t it odd the way everyone automatically assumes that the goo in soap dispensers is always soap? I like to fill mine with mustard, just to teach people a lesson in trust.

Stop giving me ideas!

 

[ible]

Nope. Responses like this are more amusing than the short chuckle the joke might get out of me. Even more fun are arguments over jokes.

it was supposed to be a joke, since i did the same (correct a joke)... you know, irony... like the original joke.... ........................ .....................................................................

Spoiler

..................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

 

[rygD]

And we are both having more fun now than we did with the original joke. Maybe we should step it up to the next level.

 

[FBnil]

Maybe we should step it up to the next level.

Ooh.. I can see where this is going... we are reaching page 69....

 

[rygD]

...

 

[ClockworkCoder]

it was supposed to be a joke, since i did the same (correct a joke)... you know, irony... like the original joke....

Irony, irony, they've all got it...

Oh.

 

[Null]

Stop giving me ideas!

Like you need any help from me.

Our neighbourhood has a tiny ghost that helps out during hard times, it's good to have a little community spirit.

 

[Kev2442]

Stop giving me ideas!

Same goes for showers and sinks :

 

[Null]

What would happen if you threw a pair of blue shoes into the Red Sea?
They would get wet.

 

[FlapJack]

BwaaahhhAAAA HAAAAAAA! That's just not right....ROFLMFAOWAS (rolling on the floor laughing my ass off whilst avoiding sailing)

 

[rygD]

ROFLMFAOWAS (rolling on the floor laughing my ass off whilst avoiding sailing)

The number of letters and words match, but the abbreviation doesn't seem to match the phrase for some reason.