(Bad)Joke Appreciation Corner

[FBnil]

Guys, my wife has stood besides me for 10 years.
And to celebrate that, I will buy a second chair for in our house.

 

[TeDaDeS]

I told my mom a chemistry joke...

Spoiler

I got no reaction.

 

[levi]

I told my mom a chemistry joke...

Spoiler

I got no reaction.

I don't get this one.

 

[Null]

I asked the lion in my wardrobe what he was doing there. He said it was Narnia business.

 

[TeDaDeS]

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

Spoiler

A carrot.

 

[Null]

My doctor told me I was going deaf.
The news was hard for me to hear.

 

[Confuzzled]

I just realized I don't trust stairs...

Spoiler

...they are always up to something.

L'esprit de l'escalier has struck. I should have answered:

Is it because they let you down half the time?

 

[Null]

The skipper of a 40 ton trawler which ran aground in Hull during the early hours of Sunday morning was reported to be 6 times over the legal limit for sailing. Authorities said they had no idea what to do with a drunken sailor early in the morning.

 

[TeDaDeS]

When does a joke become a dad joke?

Spoiler

When it becomes apparent.

 

[Null]

Did you hear about the mathematician who was afraid of negative numbers? He'd stop at nothing to avoid them.

 

[levi]

Now you're just taking the mickey.

 

[Null]

 

[Null]

A farmer counted 196 cows in 
the field. But when he rounded them up, he had 200.

 

[rSl]

_______________________________________ / Dance is the vertical expression of a \ \ horizontal intention. / --------------------------------------- \ \ .--. |o_o | |:_/ | // \ \ (| | ) /'\_ _/`\ \___)=(___/

 

[Null]

Why don't penguins fly? They're not tall enough to be pilots.

 

[Neelix]

I suspect that Skipper, Kowalski, Rico, and Private would disagree.

-Neelix

 

[FBnil]

I suspect that Skipper, Kowalski, Rico, and Private would disagree.

Not Private though... he would just nod; he's too young to fly.

 

[Neelix]

He'd Smile and Wave of course. (and apparently serve the drinks while the plane is crashing )

 

[Null]

he's too young to fly.

 

[FBnil]

I flew an airplane once. Commercial flight. They lured me in that the captain wanted to see me, so I went (they did not ask me "do you want to fly"). They gave me the controls, while standing (or was I sitting on the captain's lap? I do not remember), the co-pilot was not touching the steering either. I was sweating balls. Trying to not move the steeringwheel. Listening to the engine if the sound was constant (for speed). Looking straight ahead, afraid to bump into something, like another airplane, so without time to look at the controls. I was a bit bigger than that kid though, so I could see straight ahead, but not down (the displays were blocking that). When I got out and sat down again I was wondering why the pilot was so crazy to give a child control over an airplane...