(Bad)Joke Appreciation Corner

[Null]

Did you hear the one about the roof? Never mind, it's over your head.

 

[JDTAY]

Did you hear the one about the roof? Never mind, it's over your head.

I don't get it.

 

[TeDaDeS]

Sad news about the Italian physicists...

Spoiler

He pasta-way.

The physicists ate something that looked like his usual pasta, but it was not...

Spoiler

it was an impasta.

 

[Confuzzled]

When Carlo Collodi wrote Pinocchio, he left out a couple of details, as the fairy who made Pinocchio's wishes come true was named Ann, and whenever Pinocchio was hungry she would cast a spell to provide him with a meal of spaghetti and meatballs. It's a pity Disney didn't pick up on this.

Spoiler

After all, who could resist a story featuring a Pasta fairy Ann?

 

[TeDaDeS]

Today I've seen a couple of fish in a tank.
I wasn't even aware fish could drive.

 

[Confuzzled]

Today I've seen a couple of fish in a tank.
I wasn't even aware fish could drive.

Ah - I see you have used the simplified spelling of fish for foreigners. As any fule kno, the actual English spelling is ghoti.

Spoiler

'gh' as in cough, 'o' as in women, and 'ti' as in station.

 

[TeDaDeS]

Why can't pyromaniacs use google?

Spoiler

It's giving them too many matches.

 

[Null]

When Carlo Collodi wrote Pinocchio, he left out a couple of details

 

[TeDaDeS]

I just realized I don't trust stairs...

Spoiler

...they are always up to something.

 

[Confuzzled]

I just realized I don't trust stairs...

Spoiler

...they are always up to something.

Up? https://mcescher.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/LW-435.jpg

 

[FBnil]

Chuck Norris isn't that tough...
If he was he'd come here and mash my face into my keyboarfnfjdjfhnjdfyxydbdhxhdhd

 

[Null]

The circle is just the most ridiculous shape in the world.
There’s absolutely no point to it.

 

[netcat]

Gonna take this opportunity to end this motherfucking thread.

 

[Null]

What is the best Christmas present ever?
A broken drum - you can’t beat it!

 

[TeDaDeS]

People is shops hardly know the products they are selling anymore.
Today I went into a shop to buy a new pair of scissors to cut my paper, for my hobby. They boy behind the counter asked me: "Do you going to use you right hand to cut the paper?".
And I told him: "No, I want to use scissors for that...".

After I got my scissors I walked outside, an old lady on the opposite side of the road shouted at me: "Hey, could you help me get to the opposite side of the road?".
So I thought: what's up with people today. So I told the lady: "You are already at the opposite side of the road lady".

When continuing my route home a guy walks enthusiastically out of a clothing store and asks me: "How do I look?".
So I guess he didn't know, so I told him: "With your eyes, sir".
He didn't look pleased with my answer and walk off into a bar. I suggested he should use his eyes more, to prevent that from happening again.
Still he didn't appreciate my comment and called me names, including being a kleptomaniac. Which made sense somewhat, as I sometimes take things literally.

 

[Null]

Never date a tennis player. Love means nothing to them.

 

[TeDaDeS]

What do you give a squirrel so he'll like you?

Spoiler

 

[rSl]

_________________________________________ / "Darling," he breathed, "after making \ | love I doubt if I'll be able to get | | over you -- so would you mind answering | \ the phone?" / ----------------------------------------- \ \ .--. |o_o | |:_/ | // \ \ (| | ) /'\_ _/`\ \___)=(___/

 

[TeDaDeS]

And invisible man went to a job interview but he got rejected...

Spoiler

They couldn't see him doing the job.

 

[Djoga'Ro]

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