The worst video game reviwer, EVER!

[NssOne]

Forget all you've seen before, I believe I've officially found the worst video game reviewer ever.

Reviews

OK, it's not the grades he gives the games, but it's how/what he bases his grading system on. He's incredibly biased. I mean, I may be an atheist and not believe the Christian way of living, but even I think this guy is and absurd representation of the Christian people. Shrug, I guess everyone's free to their opinions of games.

Yeah, I don't know how people would feel about this considering it involves religion. But hey, click no evil, see no evil.

 

[GGfire]

The reviews are for parents, and the ratings are for how free of violence a game is...
anyway I think the worst reviewer is Rapaael Liberatore, who actually wrote the following review for "Unreal mission pack: return to na pali" on CGW issue 183, october 99:

"Last year's best-looking shooter just recieved an upgrade. Not only does the
NA PALI expansion pack patch UNREAL for stable multiplayer gaming, it's also compatible with UNREAL TOURNAMENT.
Survive 17 beautifully rendered levels,
including one particularly challenging mission that takes place on a downed terran spacecraft.
Take on new aliens- like the spidery Spinners and reptilian Predators- with a new arsenal of weapons,
including the blistering combat assault rifle, devastating rocket launcher with smart bombs,
and a cool new potent grenade launcher with remotely detonated grenades. If you're still playing UNREAL, NA PALI is a no brainer."

Simply the lamest review I've ever read on a serious gaming magazine.

 

[extremegamer]

YOU ARE CORRECT SIR..that is the worst review page. I chose FFX and though started out as a good review, went into pagan rituals and all that They have to be a hardcore bible pusher to publish bull sh** like that.

 

[raven]

ALL Final Fantasy games are the spawn of Satan!

 

[raven]

Even The Sims are evil. Mainly because sexual contacts are not heterosexual by default :rolleyes:

 

[jot2b]

Was I the only one who found these reviews affectionate and fun?

NUDITY/SEXUAL CONTENT  As could be expected, the skeletons, zombies and demons do not wear any clothes, but I doubt that the best designer clothes would do anything for their looks anyhow.
...
The Bible warns us to have nothing to do with the Devil, so Diablo earns a score of 29% (F-)

This guy has a better sense of humor than most videogame critics I've read from. Really, with the exception of insertcredit.com and a couple others, game critics mostly write reviews in their sleep. As Roger Ebert has said about movies, game reviews don't exist to tell you whether a game is good or bad; they exist to help you make more well-informed decisions. If you've read the mags, most game reviewers are more formulaic than the pitiful selection of games released the past couple years. The positive reviews sound like commercial spots (above), and the negative reviews have no fun at the expense of a bad game (exception: at least one dude from PCGamer and Seanbaby.)

This guy reviews games from a fundamental Christian standpoint and he doesn't miss a beat. Think how much more fun it would be if most game critics narrowed the focus and scope of their reviews. We might have a critic who reviews games based solely on how many chicks it will get him; a frustrated old man trying to understand why young kids like any of the games he plays; a loser dude who compares all games to The Matrix; The Suckiest Gamer Alive, who considers Duck Tales the best game ever as it's the only one he managed to beat.

Have you seen the ratings he gives games? Like the odd indie fan who gets stuck reviewing Pirates of the Carribbean for his local paper, his job is no fun at all. This man plays videogames for our sins, folks! LOL!

There are probably dozens of movie sites of the same nature. Warning: you will laugh your unholy ass off!

http://www.capalert.com

 

[jot2b]

Woah, I've even read a little bit more. This thread introduced the first ever game critic who thinks "addictiveness" does not deserve a star rating at the end of a review:

For instance, Everquest is a great game if you want to transfer all your existing life from the real world into the "Everquest" servers and just "live" there. "Everquest" has been designed to be played again and again for hours at a time by thousands of live players, 24/7. This game has been nicknamed "Ever-Crack" by the developers as well as the players due to its addictive nature. All of these addicted players ¾ 260,000 subscribers at the time of this writing¾ pay a fee averaging $10 a month to stay playing on the "Everquest" servers. This adds up to around $2.6 million a month raked in by "Everquest"-maker Verant Interactive, on top of the $45 they charge players to acquire the game in the first place. Addiction is very profitable and makes up over 70% of their profit. Players come from all ages and backgrounds with a large number of them teenagers and pre-teens. "Everquest" gets constant e-mail complaints from parents saying the game is ruining their children’s life by impacting their schoolwork and social life. The opportunity to just say "no" should be applied to the free demos of this game.

I personally agree. Think how much more fun games would be if they weren't fun at all!

 

[Steve-O]

Grand Theft Auto Vice City receives an 18% (F-)


hehe... Whats the Lowest % game on their???

 

[Steve-O]

found one worse Clive Barker's Undying receives a 9% (F-)

 

[extremegamer]

The only games that got really good reviews are the games with little to no violence or "demonic looking" enemies, like mario sunshine. But looking at the reviewed list, almost all the games are action/adventure games and what would those be without some kind of violence. Its people like him that make video games look bad. Its the parents responsibility for their child and what they play. Just because there's a hint of violence or the characters are drawn scary doesn't mean the game is bad. This guy is a complete idiot. Actually, I'd bet its a woman thats actually doing the reviews.

 

[thebluenewt]

You'd think Black & White was pretty harmless but:

CONCLUSION
In Black and White, the strong occult/supernatural themes are sugar-coated by the fact that this game offers minimal violence, virtually no language, and no nudity/sexual content. However, it promotes the message that everyone can be a god, which rejects the truth of the one true God; this, in my eyes, is far worse than violence.

I guess Peter Molineux was secretly trying to corrupt us all...

 

[kokonik]

lol they should review Postal 2.
so great idiots....

 

[ZiUL]

I think you all didn't read the basis of the reviews. They are NOT for the general public, they are targeted to the christian public. I'm a christian an I think that they got good reviews and here is a quote from the site:

2. Our reviews are different than most other game reviews because we base our reviews on biblical values. Most other game reviewers base their reviews on their values and interests – is it exciting, sexy, challenging, etc. They aren’t wrong; they are simply not as concerned about the moral values of the game as we are.

That's it, peace for you all

 

[Gorillazero]

http://www.almenconi.com/contact/index.html

yea she's brainwashed for sure...

This is why church attendence is falling..

-Matt

 

[whodahell600]

cant wait to see what manhunt gets :lol:

 

[Steve-O]

http://www.almenconi.com/contact/index.html

yea she's brainwashed for sure...

This is why church attendence is falling..

-Matt

LOL :lol:

 

[Thyphoid]

What is this all about? I thought this forum is loaded with extraordinary videogamers! Violence in videogames is NOT unholy, as long you are on the right side.

Check out trusted christian software at:

http://n-lightning.com/

Stay on the right side my friends.

 

[The Wub]

Condemnation of violence from a religion that gave us the crusades.... <_<

 

[Rico]

This thread attacks Christianity really, not the reviews. Taken at an orthodox level, those grades are perfectly accurate. However, most Christians should really be able to exercise some freedom, for example, playing Diablo does not automatically ally yourself with the devil. Especially when you're *sigh* fighting the monsters... there is far too much paranoia about 'corrupting' children with often quite placid videogames. Black & White is NOT going to make any Christian believe in multiple gods.

The same thing gets done for TV, music and more, usually as a way of people to make money from concerned and over-worried parents. http://www.capalert.com/ is another example. A small number of these are jokes, but the great majority of these sites are for real even if they are as ridiculous as a Jack T. Chick comic strip.

Oh, and the Wub makes an excellent point. Very few wars are not caused by either religious conflicts or one nation's dissatisfaction at anothers religious rule/suppression. But that isn't exclusive to Christianity, so I guess it's OT.

 

[generalnmx]

Actually, I agree with Rico and others. It is completely unfair to call them the "worst video game reviewer", as they are not real video game reviewers. They are more "Christian-based video game reviewers" - their reviews are not intended for un-devout Christians. People who are devout believers in organized religion enjoy having others tell them what is right and wrong according to their law, and this is exactly what they are doing.

In fact, a "good video game reviewer" is usually hard to find. Gamespot.com is highly advertised, yet I notice a strong liberal trend coming from their reviews. Granted, that is their audience, but I would like to see a more unbiased review of a game.

You could get me talking about religion for paragraphs upon paragraphs, but because that is perhaps one of the most sensitive topics ever, and it's really OT, I'll try to refrain.