Hello there, people who I have never seen before.

[Nobody important]

I just wanted to take this opportunity to share a poem about a guy you’ve probably never heard of before. His name is Wally.

Wally went to the bathroom to sit,
But the toilet did not fit,
And so he fell down,
And did almost drown,
But luckily landed in shit.

 

[TeDaDeS]

Oh Nobody important you're a brand new face,
With a poem so quirky you've set the pace,
Wally's misadventure, a tale so bold,
In the world of posting, you've staked your hold.

Toilets and troubles, a story untold,
In the realm of humor your words unfold,
A splash of oddity, your debut delight,
As you join this forum, shining so bright.

So here's to your entry, your very first rhyme,
A twist of the weird in this digital climb,
Keep sharing your stories: unique and absurd,
On this forum of ideas, your voice is heard!
...
Are you human or a bot: Time will disclose,
Your future posts will surely compose.

 

[Nobody important]

You know, I started drinking just last week. I found out that I can drink 12 beers in a day without even getting buzzed. Well, to be fair, they were hard sodas, not beers. I probably can’t afford to drink at the rate I drink, but I think I’ll try anyway. It’s not like I have anything else to do since I got kicked off of here.

 

[TeDaDeS]

I don't drink beer, but if I would it would we root beer. That won't give you a buzz either, but you do get elevated privileges.

 

[Null]

That won't give you a buzz either

Are you sure about that?

A&W The Great Root Bear (1975)

The original A&W Bear commercial featuring the Root Bear, created by a Toronto ad agency

vid.puffyan.us

 

[Nobody important]

Hey guys, guess who I am. I was around someone on Wednesday who tested positive for Covid, and now my temperature is up to 99 degrees without cheating, and I’m freaking out a little bit. They had a mask on, but I didn’t.

It’s kind of a long story. I was at the doctor on Wednesday to get paperwork filled out for my housing, and I was with one of the employees from my apartment building, and they saw another one of the employees they recognized from one of the other buildings there with someone, so they asked, “What are y’all doing here?”, and the other employee responded, “Oh, she tested positive for Covid.” Well, thanks for telling us.

 

[ClockworkCoder]

Hey guys, guess who I am

Shady! Is that you!

Spoiler

Guess who's back, back again
Shady's back, tell a friend
Guess who's back, guess who's back
Guess who's back. guess who's back
Guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back

I created a monster, 'cos nobody wants to
See Marshall no more they want Shady
I'm chopped liver
Well if you want Shady, then this is what I'll give ya
A little bit of me mixed with some hard liquor
Some vodka that will jumpstart my heart quicker
Then a shock when I get shocked at the hospital
By the Doctor when I'm not cooperating
When I'm rocking the table while he's operating
Hey, you waited this long to stop debating
'Cos I'm back, I'm on the rag and ovulating
I know that you got a job Ms. Cheney
But your husband's heart problem is complicated
So the FCC won't let me be
Or let me be me so let me see
They tried to shut me down on MTV
But it feels so empty without me

 

[ClockworkCoder]

(Replace "the FCC" with "Wally", and "Marshall" with the name of some other certain gentleman, and I think we're close to the story)

 

[Nobody important]

You know, a tropical storm is about to hit southern California. It happened once in the seventies and again in the nineties though, so it’s not quite the once in a lifetime event the media’s making it out to be.

 

[Null]

Hey guys, guess who I am.

How's your mole doing?

 

[ClockworkCoder]

How's your mole doing?

“Think about it, will ya? What, you wanna fix all the things that go wrong? You wanna snap your fingers and erase your screw-ups? Sure, who don't?”

 

[Null]

You wanna snap your fingers and erase your screw-ups?

Their names are Sam and Mark I'll have you know.

 

[Nobody important]

How's your mole doing?

I had one biopsied in June, on my leg this time. All clear.

 

[netcat]

Hello Mr Nobody. Nice to see you.

 

[Nobody important]

Just a reminder, Gamescom Opening Night Live is on in about six hours. You can see all the new games that are on the horizon, then go back to playing N64 games or C64 games or whatever it is you guys play.

 

[TrashyMG]

Well JDTAY, I guess you found the loophole, but your IP address can't be hidden from Moderators, especially static ones you have used for years.