Gagging For A Pandora....

[(naw)mcx]

What's the difference between an impotent man and the Pandora?

No difference, they both come late.

Ding ding ding, we have a winner!

 

[emcp]

as if all the failed promises and release dates arent enough of a joke for 2 months...anyways...
what did the drunk roofer say to the vaporware twat?
"whats your order #?"

Dont get it,
Have i missed something, why is the fact that hes a roofer important

has it got something to do with these guys

 

[MonkeyChops]

my attempts:

How do you get a geek to cry 2 months from now?
Buy him a Pandora today.

Why did the Pandora cross the road?
Because the chicken skipped the queue with a one nubber.

knock knock
who's there
drunk craig
drunk crai-
WHAT'S YOUR ORDER NUMBER!!!!

a couple of a raunchy ones:

Spoiler

A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He notices a geeky looking guy at the end of the bar with 3 hot chicks hanging all over him. The guy asks the bartender, "whats up with the geek?" The bartender answers, "he's got something called the Pandora and he's letting anyone play with it for 10 minutes that will have sex with him, that lucky bastard! My wife is even getting in line!" The guy responds "Wow, just to play with the Pandora for 10 minutes? I've got a Pandora and I'd do one better: play all day for nothing more than a hand job!" The bartender smiles and says "Really? where were you 6 hours ago? I can barely walk!"

What's the difference between a woman and a Pandora?
You don't have to rub a Pandora's nubs before you can stick things in it's slot.

No offence meant towards women, gays, bartenders, craigs, chickens, or geeks. Just my (failed) attempt at humor

 

[WizardStan]

as if all the failed promises and release dates arent enough of a joke for 2 months...anyways...
what did the drunk roofer say to the vaporware twat?
"whats your order #?"

Dont get it,
Have i missed something, why is the fact that hes a roofer important

The joke explained: Craig did a few humourous videos in the past to try and hype up the Pandora. In one, he was on his roof showing a bunch of different consoles, fell off, and was hit in the head by... I think it may have been a Dingoo.
In another one, he was outside, in the snow, a big (empty) bottle of vodka at his side, acting drunk while talking about the Pandora.
"Vaporware twat" was something Craig said back in March or so when it looked like the Pandora was really truly almost really about to ship (but really it didn't)
"What's your order #" is something he angrily exclaimed at Mali (and possibly a few others, though it could just be the meme I'm thinking of now) when he mentioned some issues with warranty that Craig was less than pleased about.
By their powers combined, you get a drunk roofer vs a vaporware twat.

 

[Sphinxter]

A priest a rabbi and a lawyer walk into a bar. The bartender asks for a little advice but only manages to blurt out, "I bought a pandora...", when the rabbi interrupts him by raising his hands and intoning, "A fool and his money are soon parted.", while rolling his eyes toward the priest who says, "Whoa I've got faith but not that kind.", to which the lawyer responds, "I'll have a cosmopolitan.".

 

[cosam]

There was an old chap named Craig,
Whose posts were a little big vague,
But if he wakes from his slumber,
And asks for your number,
You'd do well to avoid like the plague.


The once was a guy from Bavaria,
No other could ever be hairier,
He likes retro games,
And is evil, he claims,
But a Care Bare is probably scarier.


There's also a guy we call Dave,
On the case he did work as a slave,
And despite always wailing,
About fractional scaling,
His D-pad's still everyone's fave.

 

[mali]

^ Haha, that's great

 

[TitanUranus]

^ Haha, that's great

+1 Top quality ditty.

 

[drD20]

Biggest Joke ever:
Q:When will you get your Pandora?
A:In 2 months!

Sry but I couldnt resist. I'm not angry whatsoever, I already got mine^^

 

[LineOf7s]

An Englishman, a German, a Canadian and a Turk walk into a shitstorm...

 

[Sugar_Kane]

Q. According to the forums, how many Pandoras were returned from the initial 700?
A. 6.6 billion

Q. Why did Exophase cross the road?
A. Because he's fucking Exophase.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. He didn't, Mali merged him with the other side because he was off topic.

Patient: Dr, Dr, I think I'm the red baron!
Dr: We're both the red baron

Q. How many Prometheus' does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. MEGAMAN

 

[gruso]

SteveM, Line O'Sevens, Sugar_Kane, thank you. Actual laughter here.

 

[Rebel]

Sorry but SteveM get my vote by far... That actually should be the offical OP motto

 

[Bosbeetle]

Q. Why did Exophase cross the road?
A. Because he's fucking Exophase.

He's fucking himself

 

[Prometheus]

I am just crying with laughter at SteveM's and Sugar_Kane's posts, here. :lol: Thanks for the laughs!

 

[gruso]

I feel we should finish this.

There was an old chap named Craig,
Whose posts were a little big vague,
But if he wakes from his slumber,
And asks for your number,
You'd do well to avoid like the plague.


The once was a guy from Bavaria,
No other could ever be hairier,
He likes retro games,
And is evil, he claims,
But a Care Bare is probably scarier.


There's also a guy we call Dave,
On the case he did work as a slave,
And despite always wailing,
About fractional scaling,
His D-pad's still everyone's fave.

And that brings us to Michael Weston
The essayist to your tech questions,
With eight circuit layers,
and a soundtrack by Slayer,
He's outgunned only by Heston.

The last one is called MFK,
(Or Fatih, his mother would say),
He doesn't post much,
Just smiles and such,
But spell his name 'Faith' and you'll pay.

 

[Prometheus]

^ Crying with laughter again. :lol:

 

[WizardStan]

Two Pandoras are sitting on a desk. One turns to the other and says "hey, you want to play with my nubs?"
Second Pandora turns to the first and says

Spoiler

AAAAAHHH! A TALKING PANDORA!!!

 

[cosam]

And that brings us to Michael Weston
The essayist to your tech questions,
With eight circuit layers,
and a soundtrack by Slayer,
He's outgunned only by Heston.

The last one is called MFK,
(Or Fatih, his mother would say),
He doesn't post much,
Just smiles and such,
But spell his name 'Faith' and you'll pay.

Heh, very nice ;-) I drew a blank finding anything appropriate to rhyme with Weston or Canada. I lucked out on ED's town being in Bavaria as there's bugger all that rhymes with Germany either!

 

[Tensuke]

Two Pandoras are walking down the sidewalk, when one drops his wallet. So he says to the other, "Hey buddy, can you pick up my wallet for me?" The other Pandora stops, looks at the first, and says, "What do I look like, a microwave?"