(Bad)Joke Appreciation Corner

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Bob's wife got stung by a bee on the forehead. She's at the ER now, her face swollen and bruised, and she almost died.
Luckily, Bob was close enough to hit the bee with his shovel.

 

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What do you call a bee trying to make up its mind?
A maybe.

 

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A man walks into a library.
"Got any books on horses?"
"No," says the librarian. "All our books are on shelves."

 

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At Christmas dinner, Emily asked her grandma if she could pass the cranberry sauce.
Her grandma said, "Oh yes... it goes right through me."

 

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Did you know October is Eczema Awareness Month?
Yes, they are raising money by selling scratch cards.

 

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Why did the blind fly die of starvation?
Because he couldn't see shit.

 

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Who is a bee's favorite singer?
Sting.

 

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Why is Mars red?
Because it saw Uranus.

 

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How do you make gold soup?
Put 24 carrots in it.

 

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Why are potatoes good detectives?
Because they keep their eyes peeled.

 

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What's the best thing about October?
All the cobwebs and dust in your house just become Halloween decorations.

 

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What did the detective in the Arctic say to the suspect?
"Where were you on the night of September to March?"

 

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How much room do fungi need to grow?
As mushroom as possible.

 

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A cabbage crossed the road but got hit by a car.
Must have been a bumper crop.

 

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We've been attacked by a vessel from the city Omega3. Thankfully the damage is only super fish oil.

Where do bad rainbows go? To prism. It's a light sentence, but it gives them time to reflect.

Where did the IT guy go? He probably ransomeware.

I drove 40 km in a winterstorm to get a part for my computer. It was a hard drive.

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They are calling it the Apollo G.

I threw a ball for my dog. Extravagant, I know. But he looks amazing in a tuxedo.

I didn't think orthopedic shoes would help. But I stand corrected.

If you keep following your dreams they're going to file a restraining order.