(Bad)Joke Appreciation Corner

[___]

because you know... it's called "acrobat" reader and has security issues...

Just read this: "truly happy people are like unicorns: Shy, hard to find, and actually they probably don't exist at all."

And I thought, both supposedly exist in north Korea...

 

[Binky]

Q: There are several kittens sitting on a flat table top. The table is then slowly tilted.

Which kitten falls off the table first?

A: The one with the smallest µ

 

[levi]

Where's the 'Groan' button?

 

[PokeParadox]

How many elephants can you get in a mini?

-Two in the front and two in the back.

How many Giraffes can you get in a mini?

-None because there are elephants in it.

How can you tell if an elephants been in your fridge?

- There's a set of footprints in your butter.

How can you tell if two elephants have been in your fridge?

- There's two sets of footprints in your butter.

How can you tell if three elephants have been in your fridge?

-There's three sets of footprints in your butter.

How can you tell if four elephants have been in your fridge?

-There's a mini parked out side.

How do you get Pikachu on a bus?

-Pokémon.

Why shouldn't you let Pokémon sleep under your bed?

-They might Pikachu

 

[Binky]

How do elephants hide in biscuit tins?

- they paint their toenails red.

"That's ridiculous!", I hear you cry.

- Well, have you ever seen an elephant in a biscuit tin?

 

[Null]

A sandwich and a banana walk into a bar. They go up to the bartender and say, "Bartender, get us each a beer!" The bartender turns to them and says, "Sorry, but we don't serve food here."

 

[Binky]

Q: What do you call one of Santa's little helpers?

A: A subordinate clause!

 

[Null]

http://badkidsjokes.tumblr.com/

 

[Løra (Lolla)]

I think more jokes are needed!:


What do you not call two apples together? a pear


What are bananas particularly good at? doing the splits


What fruit is often sad? a blueberry (<-- aww *takes to the Caring Corner*)


Why did the Pink Lady and Granny Smith get kicked out the (Bad)Joke Appreciation Corner? their jokes were truly apple-ling (bit like mine really, )

 

[iprice]

You pulled a couple of crackers there!

Speaking of which, do other countries have Christmas crackers or is this a traditional British thing? I don;t recall seeing them in American Christmas movies etc.

Do other countries have something similar, specially for Christmas?

Back on track -

What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
Claustrophobia!

Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can 'ho ho ho'!

Why did Santa's helper see the doctor?
Because he had a low "elf" esteem!

What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?
A Holly Davidson!

What do you call a cat in the desert?
Sandy Claws!

Who delivers presents to cats?
Santa Paws!

What do you call Father Christmas in the beach?
Sandy Clause!

What does Santa do with fat elves?
He sends them to an Elf Farm!

What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
A Christmas Quacker!

Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?
Santa Jaws

What says Oh Oh Oh?
Santa walking backwards!

What goes Ho Ho Whoosh, Ho Ho Whoosh?
Santa going through a revolving door!

Who is Santa's favorite singer?
Elf-is Presley!

What do you call Santa's little helpers?
Subordinate clauses!

What do Santa's little helpers learn at school?
The elf-abet!

What did Santa say to the smoker?
Please don't smoke, it's bad for my elf!

Where does Santa go when he's sick?
To the elf centre!

Where do elves go to dance?
Christmas Balls!

What do elves eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes!

 

[Løra (Lolla)]

@iprice: lmao, very very good! as to your question, though..good point..I have not a noodle and would like to know, myself

 

[Null]

I bought a dog from the local blacksmith.


As soon as I got it home, it made a bolt for the door.

 

[Binky]

How would you describe the driving ability of a teenager who drove into the front of a china shop?

Smashing!

 

[mcobit]

On a plane over the pacific a voice comes from the speakers:


Hello, this is your pilot speaking.


If you take a look out of the right window you see the right wing is burning.


Please also have a look out of the left window and you'll notice the left engine exploded.


Now look in the front into the empty cockpit.


And if you look straight down to the watersurface you'll see a little red dot.


This is the lifeboat from where I am talking to you right now...

 

[Caine]

Well, since you asked for bad jokes:

> Would you like to touch my .emacs?

> It's really big.

 

[Løra (Lolla)]

@Caine: hahahaha ohhhh deary me!

 

[moxie]

The level here is so low that I might have to bring out a good friend of mine:s new years limerick...

There was a young man from Racine
Who invented a knobbing machine.
Concave or convex
It would suit either sex,
With attachments for those in between.

Don't thank me, thank my friend...

 

[Løra (Lolla)]

@Moxie: lolololol very good. I do love a limerick

 

[Klumpen]

'Tis a favourite project of mine,

A new value of pi to assign.

I would fix it at 3,

For it's simpler, you see,

Than 3 point 1 4 1 5 9

 

[Løra (Lolla)]

@Klumpen: ooooo nice!