I took my 8-year-old to the office on Take Your Kid to Work Day. As we were walking around, she starting crying and getting very cranky, so I asked her what was wrong. As my coworkers gathered round, she sobbed,"'Daddy, where are all the clowns that you said you worked with?!"
How do you piss of an archeologist?
You hand him a tampon and as him witch period it came from
Fun fact: during earthquakes coffins become underground maracas
There was an accident that left a man's eyes severely injured. Doctors were able to save his sight, but to reconstruct his eyelids they had to use the foreskin from his penis. He made a full recovery, except for being a little cockeyed.
Did you hear about that newly designed shovel? It's ground breaking