Your Idiotic Deed For Today

[TelcoLou]

 

[lizard808uk]

I had a corporate breakfast function today and there were what I thought were square lumps of cheese. It actually turns out that it was butter. :lol:

 

[daclassicgamingmaster]

Oy nova h34r:

 

[purple_goat]

funny shit..
by any chance: are you related to a seastar?
hope so cuz if not I think you will have 1 and 1/2 nipples for ever h34r:

 

[nubie]

The other day at work, I cut a reasonably sizable chunk off my left nipple.

Details .. NOW! h34r:

 

[___]

Nova, you are the master. That is honestly the funniest thing I have read in a while. Maybe DaveC can mold a replacement nipple cap for ya?

 

[sam fisher]

I work in a supermarket at the moment, replenishing shelves and stock, basically a shelf-stacker. A lot of the time, I am retrieving things from a large walk-in freezer, so understandably my nipples are like bullets a lot of that time.

Now to open up sealed boxes, all us shelf-stackers are given a special kind of knife, called a "safety" knife. It looks a little like this:

Now, after a particularly long spell in the freezers, I was absentmindedly standing around, doing very little of any interest, when a call came over the radio for a "Mr Schmidt". Now you probably didn't know this, but in this certain supermarket chain, if a customer has been seen shoplifting, they'll put out a call for a Mr Schmidt to go to the aisle where the crime is occuring. Obviously due to the dull nature of the job, when something like a shoplifting occurs, it's a nice refresher, and we can all pitch in with the blocking off of the aisles to prevent escape. In a flurry, I shoved the knife into my breast pocket and hurried off.

I got onto the shop floor, and noticed there were a lot of people staring at me, but at the time, didn't pay much attention to it. I reached my section manager and asked what was up, and he gave me a strange look, and said "You aware your tit's bleeding?". I looked down to see that my shirt had turned red around my left nipple area, where it had slipped into the knife's entry point, and due to the force of the insertion into my pocket, cut a considerable nick out of my nipple.

Obviously, that's when the pain kicked in.

I'm still not sure whether it'll grow back properly, at the moment, it looks like a winking eye...

Was the nipple piece still in your pocket? You could have quickly got to a hospital you know... You could get it fixed with surgury if it doesnt heal, and due to the way scar tissue doesn't form in the proper structure, you may get pain whenever its cold and your nipple should erect :S

funny shit..
by any chance: are you related to a seastar?
hope so cuz if not I think you will have 1 and 1/2 nipples for ever h34r:

You mean a star fish? Learn English god dammit! Also he could be a salamander and get it back too... All he needs is a blastema....

 

[daclassicgamingmaster]

It's ok guys, relax. It's just sam being a professor again :rolleyes:

 

[sam fisher]

actually its true, and based more on something an old member, mattmagoo, said LONG befor eyou were around here.

 

[Goemon4]

well i can say i did one of the dumbest things ever.....


Every morning i wake up at around 5 am, take a shower, get dressed etc... and go the the bus stop and wait to go to school, well i fell asleep last night at around 7 and woke up at 11, go up, took a shower, got dressed got my stuff and walked to the bus stop, i waited there for a good 30 min before i relized i missed the bus, so i came home and knocked on my parents door and asked if they could drop me off at school, my mom looked at me like i was crazy and told me "its 12 o'clock, go to bed!"


not to funny, but i felt my i.q. drop a bit

 

[purple_goat]

funny shit..
by any chance: are you related to a seastar?
hope so cuz if not I think you will have 1 and 1/2 nipples for ever h34r:

You mean a star fish? Learn English god dammit! Also he could be a salamander and get it back too... All he needs is a blastema....

no, I mean seastar, the term star fish is no longer used because of the seastar having no relation to fish..
learn marine biology goddamit!

edit: fixed quotes..

 

[TelcoLou]

Sam, meet purple_goat ... your ass's new owner.

 

[daclassicgamingmaster]

God, what's with the noob influx?


I also fail to believe that at midnight you waltz out of your house and walked to the busstop without your parents noticing. You're like 14 dude.


edit: ahahahahahahahahaa sam, to say you got owned is an understatement. He's like 14!! LOL!!

 

[Ravnos]

I also fail to believe that at midnight you waltz out of your house and walked to the busstop without your parents noticing. You're like 14 dude.

When I was 13, a friend and I snuck out my basement window at around 1:00AM to go to someone else's house. We hung out there for a few hours and came back home, entering the house the same way we left. The next day we got picked up at a bus stop for B&E. When my dad game to bail us out, he wasn't mad about us getting arrested, but he was mad about one thing. "Why the fuck didn't you just come and go through the front door? It's not like I would have noticed!" And it's true. My dad wasn't neglectful or anything, but he did sleep like a rock.

 

[daclassicgamingmaster]

Yeah, true. You see, when I was a fetus I left the womb for a few hours to see a movie. I came back when my mother was asleep, but she heard me curling back into a fetal position and exclaimed "you sneaky little runt!"


Needless to say you cannot trick my mother anymore

 

[Javacat]

Yeah, true. You see, when I was a fetus I left the womb for a few hours to see a movie. I came back when my mother was asleep, but she heard me curling back into a fetal position and exclaimed "you sneaky little runt!"


Needless to say you cannot trick my mother anymore

*waits for Sam to explain why that couldn't really have happened*

 

[sam fisher]

God, what's with the noob influx?


I also fail to believe that at midnight you waltz out of your house and walked to the busstop without your parents noticing. You're like 14 dude.


edit: ahahahahahahahahaa sam, to say you got owned is an understatement. He's like 14!! LOL!!

meh, in england we still call them starfish. A "sea star" sounds retarded.

Edit: "more correctly referred to as Sea Stars" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Starfish heh, notice the article name.

 

[Nova]

No sam, in England, you call them star fish.

Admit you were wrong and get on with it.

 

[TelcoLou]

No sam, in England, you call them star fish.

Admit you were wrong and get on with it.

He thought he was wrong once, but he was mistaken

 

[daclassicgamingmaster]

Getting sam fisher to admit he was incorrect is like trying to get blood from a rock